Hodd

It’s incredibly sad, Joe. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing a drinker in action, clearly buying an excessive amount of alcohol. The level of intake only ever increases, and they’re in for a whole host of health problems and worse. Certainly in the UK if a kid was harming themselves in that way, it would be reported by school teachers, for example, and social services would step in. There’s not really anyone to step in when it’s an adult, and I repeat the advice not to do so - it could be very dangerous.

least

I remember buying my first bottle of wine for the day early in the morning, as soon as the grocery store opened. I'm sure the clerk knew what was going on but never let on. I was so desperate to drink that I didn't care who knew it. I had no shame anymore.

RunnerF

I certainly don’t miss hangovers one bit. Can’t believe that was my normal just varying degrees. I too would snap at people and situations due to feeling poorly. I know have a pause button to consider the situation before I react. I don’t always behave as I would like but it’s better.

Just arrived in Florida and made it through the initial shopping trip at Publix without visiting my favorite beer aisle.

originalname

just curious why you would buy bottles daily instead of a stack on the weekend?

Oglsby

I used to be so embarrassed by the different stores I would go to, to keep from the same ones every day. As if I was fooling anyone. It makes me cringe. Some of them I have never gone in again (most of them, actually).

Caramel

Buying a "stack": might lead people to think there was a drinking problem, and that would never do...

Dee74

However much I bought I could guarantee it would be gone by Monday...sometimes Sunday.

D

Hodd

Me too. It worked for me to buy daily. If I’d bought, say, two days supply. I’d have drunk the lot that night. It’s lunacy I know, but there was some rationale to buying daily.

LazaB

My problem wasn't so much when i got into the store ( because i was usually suffering from withdrawal so i didn't care what anybody thought about me ) , it was that trip to the store. I actually measured the distance on google earth from my apartment to the liquor store and it was 400 m , it took me exactly 4 minutes to get there if i didn't run into anyone. Most of the time every step to that liquor store was torture , shaky hands , sweating , dizzy , panic 10/10 and praying ( even though i don't believe in God ) that none of my neighbors or friends are gonna see me , frequently i would fake that i was having a conversation with someone on the phone just so i could avoid people on the street , walking the same streets i used to go to elementary school back in the day as a normal kid , horrible , just horrible.

Forwards

Travelling home by train last week I was alone in the cold waiting room when a workman came in. To my surprise he took out an automated electronic breathalyzer and checked himself with it twice. He then immediately went to the station store and bought alcohol. Seeing that I'd seen him, he scurried into a corner of the store and hid the bottle under his jacket until I'd bought my chocolate bar and moved on.

This raised many questions in my mind, Was the breathalyzer court or employer mandated to record his daily readings? Was he about to go and work on the railway with a bottle in his jacket? Sad to see and possibly even dangerous.

DriGuy

That story was spooky. Like you I didn't understand what his strategy was, but clearly he had a problem, and not drinking was not a consideration for dealing with it.

Hodd

Hi Forwards, you’re not alone in finding that a very disturbing sight. Not sure what was going on, but the poor guy’s just a slave to alcohol now.

Cityboy

Forwards, yes that sounds very dangerous and unfortunate. The railroad people are going to be forced into making a decision.

Hodd

It’s not the same issue, but I kept on avoiding medicals at work because I knew my blood pressure was high. The sensible thing would’ve obviously been to address the issue, but the reason for the high BP was being very overweight and a heavy drinker, which I only addressed years later (and the BP went back to normal without needing any medication). Like the old me, the poor railway guy is only fooling himself. Hopefully he sees the light one day. That’s still a human being with loved ones, good points, goals and aspirations, but it’s someone who’s badly lost their way.

RunnerF

I have been avoiding medical appointments as well. Last blood test showed elevated liver enzymes. Was in alert zone. Had 26 days of sobriety at that point. Have follow up February 8. Hopefully it has improved because still have slight discoloration around eyes.

VikingGF

Oh, that poor guy with the breathalyzer. I hope he finds his way out of that nightmare one day soon.

sober2023

I would buy from a rotating selection of different places to hide looking like an alcoholic

Cityboy

A good part of my addiction to alcohol was the anxiety over normal stuff like money, work, drama, etc. The drinking only made it much worse by giving me new things to worry about, like who had seen me coming out of the store with an 18 pack. I think that it also promoted a mentality of chronic anxiety with me in a way in which I just felt like I was in a dark hole much of the time.

RunnerF

The lying, mostly to myself, was the source of a lot of anxiety. No one has ever confronted me and said “you have a drinking problem “. I was always hoping someone would so it would validate what I thought about myself. Actually my wife has in the past when we discussed my drinking told me I wasn’t that “bad”, just cut back. I knew differently and all here know “just cutting back” is not an option that has much success.

Hodd

Ouch! I remember coming back from a meal with my (now ex-)wife and I’d had the usual beers. We got back home around 10pm on a Sunday, and I said I was just popping to the shop. She asked why, and I said to get beers. She said I’d already had loads of beers and that it was “all in my mind”. I didn’t give it a second thought, and bought three big bottles. What must my wife had thought in those moments? She knew that’d be it for the night. I’d slump in front of the TV or computer not knowing what she was doing or thinking. Drinking really did take away my empathy. What a lonely life for the drinker’s other half. I’m never going to make anyone feel like that again.