Overheard in my local shop just now …
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
I've been on both sides of the counter.
As a student I worked in what in Aus we call 'bottle shops.'
The work is boring, repetitive and you spend hours in there with little to do other than refill fridges and do the sales.
You become observant
I'd get to recognise the customers and their patterns. You knew who was drinking a lot, what they would buy. Just by watching, you learned a lot about how they were going. The one's that drove in and bought bulk were way different to ones that walked in with a bag and bought what they could for that day. The good bottle of wine bought with the readymix spirits to get a good hit off it. The guy that only ever bought lite beer.....but never less than half a dozen at a time. The guy that was obviously hanging out and wanted credit. Pub couldn't do credit, but I understood and could buy for him. Yeah, he did pay me back. One understood another.
So they do notice a lot and I'm v conscious of it now.
There is a kind of 24 hour upmarket gourmet food place near here. They sell expensive booze 24 hours. I've been in there early morning buying birthday cards, wrapping paper for the 6 pack. Either they weren't fooled of didn't give an eff...who knows.
Who cares?
Me. All too sad.
As a student I worked in what in Aus we call 'bottle shops.'
The work is boring, repetitive and you spend hours in there with little to do other than refill fridges and do the sales.
You become observant
I'd get to recognise the customers and their patterns. You knew who was drinking a lot, what they would buy. Just by watching, you learned a lot about how they were going. The one's that drove in and bought bulk were way different to ones that walked in with a bag and bought what they could for that day. The good bottle of wine bought with the readymix spirits to get a good hit off it. The guy that only ever bought lite beer.....but never less than half a dozen at a time. The guy that was obviously hanging out and wanted credit. Pub couldn't do credit, but I understood and could buy for him. Yeah, he did pay me back. One understood another.
So they do notice a lot and I'm v conscious of it now.
There is a kind of 24 hour upmarket gourmet food place near here. They sell expensive booze 24 hours. I've been in there early morning buying birthday cards, wrapping paper for the 6 pack. Either they weren't fooled of didn't give an eff...who knows.
Who cares?
Me. All too sad.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2,839
I had a similar experience only yesterday.
A lady asked if it was ok to jump ahead of me in the queue at the supermarket as i had a full trolly full of food and i said no problem.
Just the look was enough to know how she was probably feeling. She had 2 bottles of wine, cheap wine if theres such a thing anymore. She had the red bloated face and looked miserable. My heart sank, easy to think afterwards what i would have liked to say, but no i said nothing like everyone else in the shop.
Its a cruel thing. I know i would have judged this person having no understanding of her situation. Different now.
A lady asked if it was ok to jump ahead of me in the queue at the supermarket as i had a full trolly full of food and i said no problem.
Just the look was enough to know how she was probably feeling. She had 2 bottles of wine, cheap wine if theres such a thing anymore. She had the red bloated face and looked miserable. My heart sank, easy to think afterwards what i would have liked to say, but no i said nothing like everyone else in the shop.
Its a cruel thing. I know i would have judged this person having no understanding of her situation. Different now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
I’ve got in so much trouble, AL, for expressing sympathy to my ex-wife and now my new partner about people who are either overweight or appear to be heavy drinkers. The irony is of course that I used to be both of those and was deeply unhappy, but that all changed when I changed. But expressing such thoughts to others isn’t popular, so speaking to the affected person directly won’t end well, no matter how well meaning. It’s not nice to see someone unhappy when you know the “solution”, but we’ll have to live with that sadly.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2,839
Funny world we live in alright where the opposite is the preferred course to take.
I often here on podcasts that alcohol is one of the only (legal) drugs you have to justify stopping.
Stop Smoking "well done good for you" Im giving up the booze "Ah go on its just one, what harm will it do" I often wonder do they know whats happening and are they hiding something themselves and keeping it quiet like i tried to do but was somehow very bad at it.
I often here on podcasts that alcohol is one of the only (legal) drugs you have to justify stopping.
Stop Smoking "well done good for you" Im giving up the booze "Ah go on its just one, what harm will it do" I often wonder do they know whats happening and are they hiding something themselves and keeping it quiet like i tried to do but was somehow very bad at it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,474
I wish one of you, or someone like you, that knows or suspects someone has a problem saw me buying alcohol in the store and said something. I believe I would have welcomed the outside confirmation of what I felt on the inside, the feeling that I was an alcoholic and needed help. I know I feel the way you do and don’t want a confrontation with anyone but I hate to think a subtle suggestion to a fellow human can’t make a difference. I guess it is situational dependent, not to embarrass someone or to create a public scene. I too recognize people in the store and in life that remind me of where I was just a short 3 months ago. It wasn’t easy to break the reliance on alcohol and still isn’t. I try to help others as much as it is safe and appropriate to do so.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by RunnerF 
I wish one of you, or someone like you, that knows or suspects someone has a problem saw me buying alcohol in the store and said something. I believe I would have welcomed the outside confirmation of what I felt on the inside, the feeling that I was an alcoholic and needed help. I know I feel the way you do and don’t want a confrontation with anyone but I hate to think a subtle suggestion to a fellow human can’t make a difference. I guess it is situational dependent, not to embarrass someone or to create a public scene. I too recognize people in the store and in life that remind me of where I was just a short 3 months ago. It wasn’t easy to break the reliance on alcohol and still isn’t. I try to help others as much as it is safe and appropriate to do so.
People in the forum are different. They are looking for help. Here you can offer help. It's the appropriate place for that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,474
Driguy agree with your thoughts. This is the appropriate forum to offer help. Help unsolicited is most times not received or appreciated. It pains me to see others suffer and struggle. I guess that’s what makes us human.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by RunnerF
Driguy agree with your thoughts. This is the appropriate forum to offer help. Help unsolicited is most times not received or appreciated. It pains me to see others suffer and struggle. I guess that’s what makes us human.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
I’d be a bit wary here. My only area of “expertise” is alcohol, but I’m told other substances can make people downright nasty and even dangerous. I mentioned about wanting to speak to a poor guy in my hometown who was swigging vodka at 9am. A few people said they’d be concerned for my own welfare if I’d done so. Unfortunately, let’s leave sleeping dogs lie. I wouldn’t like to think of anyone here getting assaulted as a result of trying to help.
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 636
I live in the inner area of a small city.
The contrasts are so visible all the time.
There is a homeless shelter down that end of the street, a couple of blocks over it is very expensive lux housing.
Cool restaurants and coffee shops. 2 blocks down and its drinking cask wine in the park.
Hodd is right.
You get careful, ppl aren't happy drunk these days, they are maniac methed.
On one level, I feel sympathy.
On another I resent that I have to be so carefully watchful for just everyday life.
The contrasts are so visible all the time.
There is a homeless shelter down that end of the street, a couple of blocks over it is very expensive lux housing.
Cool restaurants and coffee shops. 2 blocks down and its drinking cask wine in the park.
Hodd is right.
You get careful, ppl aren't happy drunk these days, they are maniac methed.
On one level, I feel sympathy.
On another I resent that I have to be so carefully watchful for just everyday life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
My most memorable encounter was at a Liquor Store adjacent to a large Grocery. I'd already shopped there and taken a few swigs once back in my SUV. This allowed for a little Blackout nap by 8:30 AM. I was on the way to the Dog Park, and needed a Handle of 'Fireball' Cinnamon Whisky to get my party started by calming the shakes. The Chinese Gal working the Counter looked at me, all bloated. She snatched back the 1.75 L Handle, and barked 'we no sell to Customers smell of Alcohol'. I mumbled something about having a Stomach condition that made me smell odd, and slinked out of the Store. Bought what I 'needed' at another Store nearby. Always using Cash to avoid Debit Card traceability. Everyone knows Cinnamon-flavored Whisky cannot be detected, right? This was about the time I upped my habit to 105 Proof 'stuff' cuz the standard 80 Proof Booze wasn't enough of a kick anymore. Colorado moving to allow Sunday sales of Liquor further enabled us Alks.
Besides the usual bit of rotating purchases between several Stores, I also had select spots to slug Booze and pass out for a while. Trailheads for Hiking Paths. Empty spots at the back of Industrial Complexes. Whatever seemed 'stealth' to my sotted Brain, and likely wasn't. At the Dog Park, there was a large Boulder with a flat top. I'd stretch out, and pass in-and-out of consciousness. Puke in the Bushes there occasionally. There was usually Red Wine in my Coffee Tumbler. Just to 'cut back' on Alcohol content, dontcha know. I mean - shoot - doesn't everyone cut the corner off a Box Wine Liner to drink the last Ounce or so in the Box? Right before recycling Alcohol Containers all around Town.
It's all a dismal 'existence', and a helluva lotta work to just maintain all the fakery. The 'best' aspect of that Life during sotted Early Retirement is to not live it anymore...
My most memorable encounter was at a Liquor Store adjacent to a large Grocery. I'd already shopped there and taken a few swigs once back in my SUV. This allowed for a little Blackout nap by 8:30 AM. I was on the way to the Dog Park, and needed a Handle of 'Fireball' Cinnamon Whisky to get my party started by calming the shakes. The Chinese Gal working the Counter looked at me, all bloated. She snatched back the 1.75 L Handle, and barked 'we no sell to Customers smell of Alcohol'. I mumbled something about having a Stomach condition that made me smell odd, and slinked out of the Store. Bought what I 'needed' at another Store nearby. Always using Cash to avoid Debit Card traceability. Everyone knows Cinnamon-flavored Whisky cannot be detected, right? This was about the time I upped my habit to 105 Proof 'stuff' cuz the standard 80 Proof Booze wasn't enough of a kick anymore. Colorado moving to allow Sunday sales of Liquor further enabled us Alks.
Besides the usual bit of rotating purchases between several Stores, I also had select spots to slug Booze and pass out for a while. Trailheads for Hiking Paths. Empty spots at the back of Industrial Complexes. Whatever seemed 'stealth' to my sotted Brain, and likely wasn't. At the Dog Park, there was a large Boulder with a flat top. I'd stretch out, and pass in-and-out of consciousness. Puke in the Bushes there occasionally. There was usually Red Wine in my Coffee Tumbler. Just to 'cut back' on Alcohol content, dontcha know. I mean - shoot - doesn't everyone cut the corner off a Box Wine Liner to drink the last Ounce or so in the Box? Right before recycling Alcohol Containers all around Town.
It's all a dismal 'existence', and a helluva lotta work to just maintain all the fakery. The 'best' aspect of that Life during sotted Early Retirement is to not live it anymore...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,474
Scary times Mesaman. I am glad I no longer need to slink around, lying mostly to myself, to by alcohol. It is liberating to be free of the grip of addiction. It will never be completely eradicated in me but that’s okay as I am free at the moment.
i posted to keep this at top of list because I feel it may help those just starting out on this journey.
Best to all.
i posted to keep this at top of list because I feel it may help those just starting out on this journey.
Best to all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
We’re all “in remission”. RunnerF, even after years. There are worse problems to have, and unlike a genetic disease, we have a lot of scope to control it.
I had this conversation with my new girlfriend yesterday. She drinks very occasionally but still doesn’t get that I can’t. It’s more a problem for her than me.
I had this conversation with my new girlfriend yesterday. She drinks very occasionally but still doesn’t get that I can’t. It’s more a problem for her than me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
I'll add a shopkeeper encounter I had in recovery...
On returning from several weeks in rehab and dropping by the convenience store, notably only buying soft drinks, the man behind the counter greeted me with a 'you've been away', a knowing smile and a 'wish you well'. Observant indeed...
Thank you Hodd for the thread. It's got me remembering the bad times but also the occasional acts of kindness... All the best, Forwards.
On returning from several weeks in rehab and dropping by the convenience store, notably only buying soft drinks, the man behind the counter greeted me with a 'you've been away', a knowing smile and a 'wish you well'. Observant indeed...
Thank you Hodd for the thread. It's got me remembering the bad times but also the occasional acts of kindness... All the best, Forwards.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,418
I would have died inside if anyone said anything to me about my purchases, and I sure would never have shopped there again. I, too, can see a kindred spirit from several feet away- but, I wasn't ready to hear anything at that time, and I assume they are not in that place either. It's hard to have found the answer and the freedom and not share it, but we also understand that everyone comes to home to roost in their own time.
Great thread, Hodd. Thanks to you for it.
Great thread, Hodd. Thanks to you for it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,474
All on point experiences here. Shopping for alcohol was always an embarrassing time for me when I knew I had a problem. I’m sure a lot here felt that way. Glad when I need to pick up a bottle for the wife I can not have that same angst.
Not a native English speaker
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Latin Europe
Posts: 152
I went to the nearest supermarket from home 90% of the times. The clerks already knew me, I'd go there practically every day. One thing is if you put plenty of distinct groceries and some beers, another is if you ONLY buy beer - that couldn't be unnoticed. The dreaded wait for your turn to pay and get the hell out of there was the worst. You put your cans of beer near the checkout girl and wait your turn, praying no one you know is actually near. I once had to hide in a distinct aisle and wait for my parents to leave the same supermarket so I could go to the checkout.
The other 10% of times, I'd buy alcohol in the supermarket near my office on my way home the day before I'd be home alone working remotely. I'd be sure to hide the packs of beer in the trunk of my car so I could enter my home without them. Then, in the next morning, I'd go to the car in the garage after my wife and kids left and take the cans of beer to my house.
The other 10% of times, I'd buy alcohol in the supermarket near my office on my way home the day before I'd be home alone working remotely. I'd be sure to hide the packs of beer in the trunk of my car so I could enter my home without them. Then, in the next morning, I'd go to the car in the garage after my wife and kids left and take the cans of beer to my house.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
“Glad when I need to pick up a bottle for the wife I can not have that same angst. ”
Good point, runner. I very occasionally buy alcohol as a present for normies - ironic that I should so but it’s when I don’t know what wise to buy - and it’s a totally different feeling. I don’t think I look like a drinker, and the shop staff wouldn’t suspect me to be a drinker either. I do notice the price of wine is much higher now. Glad that’s not a problem anymore 👍
Good point, runner. I very occasionally buy alcohol as a present for normies - ironic that I should so but it’s when I don’t know what wise to buy - and it’s a totally different feeling. I don’t think I look like a drinker, and the shop staff wouldn’t suspect me to be a drinker either. I do notice the price of wine is much higher now. Glad that’s not a problem anymore 👍
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