cusper

Thank you ToughChoices, I have tried the serenity but I knew that getting sober would have some rage and chaos attached to it because I had been drinking for so long that there is a ton of buried emotion to resurface. I also know this because I had managed 20 months of sobriety years ago and fell off the wagon. Luckily I have this forum where you and others understand. I also reached out to my brother who knows everyone as well and he has had 20 years of intense therapy to give me some good advice. Thank you for writing in to me. It really helped.

cusper

Thank you Viking. It is so true. I know I have to stay in my business and not others. I know that just trying to do what is right for me is the answer. I feel lucky to come here though to have a rant. I really appreciate all of the responses from you and others. It really helps. It's a day later and I do feel less irritated about it.

DriGuy

None of my family or closest peers recognized the seriousness of my problem. At the point where it became a continual nightmare for me, they still never noticed. There was one drunk sitting on the bar stool next to mine who told me I needed to do something about my drinking. I hardly knew that guy. That's the only ominous comment I remember. Years before in the early stages of my alcoholism, I did have a girlfriend who expressed concern about my drinking. I told her it was not a problem and she accepted that as if I knew what I was talking about. But I do remember thinking about her remark and wondering if she was right. I drank for the next 27 years.

cusper

DriGuy,
Oh wow- That is amazing that a stranger could point it out and not your friends. With significant others that have no experience with alcoholism they have no idea. I knew I had an issue with drinking for a very very long time and I also knew because of growing up the way that I did. So although I had quit several times throughout my life it was only a matter of time. I hope I remain on this path. I think that every time I fall off the wagon I am now distinctly aware that the path leads exactly back to the same place.