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Old 12-05-2022, 12:19 AM
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Halg
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Tips

My first day back at work here comes the real test. Iím usually fine till I hit 6 0 clock thatís when it triggerís. I need to do something different to break that cycle. What did other people do thoughts appreciated 😀
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Old 12-05-2022, 01:22 AM
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Vary your routine as much a# possible. If you usually come home and watch Tv, maybe cook a meal instead, or exercise, pick up a hobby?

it will get easier and easier to ignore the old ways when you commit fully to the new

D

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Old 12-05-2022, 01:23 AM
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I kept a diary on hand Swordfish. Wrote down the reasons why i wouldn't drink.
It was hard as i had to go to the supermarket most evenings to pick up food and the temptation of the offlicence was terrible. From 6pm on was torture when i think back on it.
I also went to bed early 8pm just to get my mind off it. Started walking after that anything to keep myself busy. If i got pass 10pm i know i survived that night.
Its tough but gets easier after the first weeks. Just stay strong and be honest with yourself like we are in the morning when we wake only this time keep the promise that i wont drink today.
Good luck today at work.
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Old 12-05-2022, 02:09 AM
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Halg
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Thanks Iím glad Iíve decided to post more it makes all the difference you lot know where Iím coming from
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Old 12-05-2022, 03:00 AM
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My tip: Never believe av. It's a pathological liar.

You're doing great Swordfish.
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Old 12-05-2022, 05:02 AM
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Remain vigilant. Do not let your guard down.

One of my biggest problems would be that I would allow my AV to catch me off guard. I would experience a trigger -- a thought, a sight, a smell, a sound -- that would send me down the rabbit hole, and within minutes I had convinced myself to run to the liquor store. This happened on many day ones, and on many occasions it happened several months into previous attempts at permanent sobriety.

Make your addiction your arch nemesis. When it comes to alcohol/drugs, that part of your brain cares only about getting a fix, consequences be damned. It can not be reasoned with, and it can strike at any moment without warning, even after lying dormant for a while. It must be recognized and shut down dead in its tracks. And to do this -- at least in my case -- requires a constant state of 1)Accepting how vulnerable I was and how fragile my sobriety is, and, 2)Determining that I would not allow my addiction to capitalize on that fact ever again.

This is the foundation of my sobriety arsenal. Hope this helps.
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Old 12-05-2022, 05:20 AM
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Change of routine.
If you stop and get alcohol normally stop for ice cream instead. Is an example.
Get a call from the AV, ignore it.

Promise yourself you won't drink today and keep that promise. No Matter What

The beginning is hard but it gets easier.
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Old 12-05-2022, 05:40 AM
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Id leave my wallet at home if I could. Having to swing by the house was just enough to shut the AV up. Also I need to work out in the AM so that I'm too tired in the evening to make the stop. Also makes it hard to bank on a hangover if youre committed to working out in the morning!

You got this friend!!
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Old 12-05-2022, 05:42 AM
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I decided to attend an AA meeting every night, which was always at 8:00 PM in my town. So after work, it was necessary to stay sober for a short time until I would start getting ready to leave. The meeting ended at 9:00 PM, and was usually followed by a small gathering at a local cafe. By the time I got home, I was rejuvenated and ready to go to bed sober. Of course, this strategy didn't happen in a vacuum without context. I also:

Committed to never taking another drink under any circumstances.
I needed to keep my mind occupied with something besides the next drink 24/7. Hence, the meetings.
I really was ready to commit long term, actually looking forward to it.

I did 180 meetings in 180 days, and actually a little bit more. My drinking days were over. Every night after work revolved entirely around something else.
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Old 12-05-2022, 06:09 AM
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I was on SR several hours each day. I also read many books about getting sober. My favorites were (and still are) the Alcohol Explained books by William Porter, Under the Influence by James Milan, and Allan Carr’s Quit Drinking without Willpower. I like William Porters the best. It gives a great explanation about what’s going on in your body when you drink. I focused on correcting my diet but I didn’t worry too much about excess calories in the beginning. My body and mind needed to heal from the booze first. I was deliberate in not forgetting the bad stuff about alcohol. I tracked my blood pressure everyday and took pride in watching it come back to normal.

The biggest thing that made the difference was that I really decided that I could not, without a doubt, ever take a drink again. I never want to return to that hellish existence of chasing that bottle day in and day out. That stays with me today with over a year of sobriety.
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Old 12-05-2022, 10:28 AM
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Swordfish, 6/7:00 were the worst times for me, too. I started going out after supper and walking a lot. It made a very positive difference in my recovery and my life. I reconnected with my community, I got lots of exercise, my husband would usually join me and it was a perfect time for talking, and above all, it got me past the witching hour.
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Old 12-05-2022, 01:37 PM
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Different things

Today is day 10 for me , so I have started working out at 6pm was usually when I drink so I started doing some workouts routines from YouTube . I started cleaning more like do housework. I trying this out but I listen to aa online or YouTube sober stuff when Iím driving back home
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Old 12-05-2022, 01:50 PM
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welcome to SR Ndogg420

D
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Old 12-05-2022, 11:05 PM
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The best advice I ever got for strengthening mu sobriety was to practice gratitude every day. . Every day find at least one thing to be thankful for. And express it if you can, to the perish ti whom you are grateful, or in some other way. (we even have a gratitude forum ). I find that practicing gratitude every day gives me a more positive frame of mind. And I find that the more things I find to be grateful for, the more things there are to find. . Try it. It worked wonders for me.
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Old 12-06-2022, 03:17 AM
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Changing your routine or even your evening venue. Instead of alcohol being your reward, pick something else. Working out, going for a walk, a nice healthy dinner (or in my case early on a pizza! haha), pick something to netflix. Early on I found documentarys or shows related to alcohol to keep my focus. If you don't want alcohol related, pick something else. Go to an aa meeting, hang out with friends or family, read. Pick SOMETHING to look forward too other than alcohol at the end of the day. Do the same the next and the next and the next.

I had an app early on - a sober counter that was also motivation. Pick a sober family member, friend who knows what your sobriety goals are. Tell them. Check in with them and they with you. This helped with accountability.
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Old 12-06-2022, 10:57 AM
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Halg
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Thanks you to everyone with your advice and tips. Iím glad to say Iíve stayed sober. I went for a 20 min walk, shower food and a cup of tea. Feeling really hopeful at the moment. Your all great 😀
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Old 12-06-2022, 11:07 AM
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Thats fantastic Swordfish keep going.
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Old 12-07-2022, 07:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Swordfish1 View Post
Thanks you to everyone with your advice and tips. Iím glad to say Iíve stayed sober. I went for a 20 min walk, shower food and a cup of tea. Feeling really hopeful at the moment. Your all great 😀
You are doing what people have suggested to deal with the after work trigger by finding something to do that is the direct opposite of taking a drink. Stick with it. More importantly, you identified one of your triggers on your own, and sought ways to deal with it. Trigger identification and strategies to deal with each trigger, played a major role in my own RECOVERY PLAN. SR stresses making a plan, and Dee or Anna can provide links on how to make a plan. I quit years ago, and was never provided with this advice, but I came up with a plan of my own in an intuitive and desperate need to fix myself, so I recognize how important planning is when I hear it stressed in SR.

It's too easy for the beginner to recognize that he "wants to quit drinking" and think that this is enough. But that goal is only part of a plan, because it lacks the critical strategies that determine how to achieve that goal. Plans are malleable. If a strategy fails, you can change it. In my case, the change was always in a more draconian zero tolerance direction. I found I had to squeeze out those "minor exceptions" to my abstinence plan, that would open the door to a drink. These "minor exceptions" come from your AV, the Addictive Voice in your head that nudges you toward thinking that just one little slip can't hurt. If you haven't heard about the AV, learn about it from the book on Rational Recovery. Hang out here long enough, and you will get the idea.

If I'm telling you things you already know, I apologize. I don't know you well enough to know where you are at, or how long you have been struggling. How long have you been at this?
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Old 12-07-2022, 11:49 AM
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Halg
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The amount of times Iíve tried to quit and failed miserably. I think this is the first time Iíve accepted I can never drink. In the past I thought if I can go a few months then I can have a drink. The fact I was planning my next time to drink says it all really. I never put a plan into place before, I didnít really post.
Im so glad Iím posting more it really does help instead of keeping it to myself.
Drinking after work that 6pm time is definitely one of my triggers. Iím making ever effort to change what I do at that time now.
Iím taking it one day at a time. I already feel so much better. Iím also keeping a journal which was suggested. Thanks again everyone hopefully I can turn things around.
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Old 12-08-2022, 04:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Swordfish1 View Post
The amount of times Iíve tried to quit and failed miserably. I think this is the first time Iíve accepted I can never drink.
That was a huge, decisive, and turned out to be the actual starting point in my recovery. Embrace that. And a happy surprise for me was that it turned out not to be the sacrifice I thought it would be. In fact, it was anything but a sacrifice. I only gained, without giving up anything but a load of misery.
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