Alpine

You are doing great and just keep focused. People say to run that tape forward which I do, but I also run it backwards to see what has happened when I was drinking. I do not like that person that I became. You CAN do this, you are amazinly strong.

Anna

TC, you're doing great. As you move on with your recovery, your husband will begin to relax. Stay the course and you'll be fine.

ToughChoices

Thank you all!

My family is my greatest treasure, but if I lost them, if they left, if my husband’s hurt is too big, I WOULD NOT, I WILL NOT drink/use.

Addiction is not who I AM. It’s what I did because I was afraid of who I am.

I know better now.

And I think my husband will love my true self. We shall see! What an adventure!

SoberLeigh

We love who you are, ToughChoices. Stay the course; I truly believe that all will be okay - even better than okay.

Steely

I loved how you said, "Addiction is not who I AM, it's what I did because I was afraid of who I am."

Yet it is the thing we wanted most.

As Anna says, your husband will be fine. He loves you. All you've got to do is to live the sober life.

I'm learning how powerful and peaceful it can be.

ToughChoices

I sought out a chemical solution to my spiritual problem. My soul wanted to be free and honored and human, but I kept pushing it back and caging it in. That caged spirit was miserable, but I had lived captive to other’s desires for SO long that I didn’t even recognize my bonds. Alcohol and drugs temporarily freed me. But at great cost.

Ironically, I now know that there was never a lock on the door to my cage. I just had to see it. And get out.

Today I AM FREE.

Imperfect, impatient, a little messy, sometimes anxious. Just human. And that is what I’m supposed to be!!!

Substances showed me a 2-D video of freedom, and let me think I had escaped. But no one is more trapped than a person sitting still, staring rapturously at their screen.

Sobriety, and FOREVER commitment to leave behind that false escape actually allows me to swing the door open and experience freedom.

I am never going back.

Steely

I don't want to live in the cell with no door either TC. Sucks.

I've done me laggin', never going back there again. 😭

*. Lagging: time spent in gaol. jail lol

These are great steps you are taking TC.

All days are sober except for the crazy ones where we drink lemonade. Lol