kes

Hi Kensie,

If you're staying sober, keep on doing whatever you're doing as it works for you. Don't let amyone tell you otherwise.

Did the doc give you any anti craving meds on your discharge? I was prescribed Naltrexone, which really helps me. Other patients were given Campral and I've heard good reports back from them. Maybe you don't need them? It's a goos back up plan though if things get tough. Talk it through with your doc, that's my advice..

ATB,

Kes

Purplrks3647

Welcome Kensie! I saw you check in on the 24 hour thread but can’t remember if I welcomed you already

Bobbieka

Glad you're here, Kensie!

kensie12

Kes they did offer me medication to help with the Cravings I declined they told me if I felt that I needed afterwards to speak to my primary care doctor. So far so good I haven't had Cravings at all although I do have a headache tonight. I had a really busy day with work and trying to fit in two meetings and didn't eat too healthy today so that may be part of it too. Funny thing is I balked at the thought of being dependent on medication but had no problem self-medicating for years??

I spoke before about my family's disappointment, what I really meant is my daughter. She is very religious and suggested to me to go to a Christian Women's halfway house she sent me the packet when I was in detox. A lot of the rules I felt I could not agree to number one smoking it is something I want to change but I have to work on one thing at a time. The other was only approved Media, since my favorite author is Stephen King I think the things I read would not be approved. I don't think this would be a good place for me she disagrees. We had a conversation about it tonight again and in her mind once I said that I was giving it up to Jesus/higher power her mind set is that that's all you need it's just to give yourself over to Jesus completely. I tried to explain to her that the addict mind that I have that will not work for me and I've been in and out of this recovery thing many many times and the people that I see that have a strong long-term recovery use AA and sites like this I'm going with the people who have experience. She disagrees but I really feel that she just has no idea she's not an addict.

Dee74

Its your journey Kensie - noone elses

D

kes

Hi Kensie,

Good that you don't need meds.

Re: The religious thing, It's NOT for EVERYONE. I am religious and a catholic but totally get it with other viewpoints. My brother and most my friends have said they would be up and out the door quicker than Usain Bolt at the first mention of the HP at an AA meeting! - so yep, I totally get where you'te at.



You need to do whatever's right for you. The Christian accommodation clearly isn't good for you and could stress you to the point of relapse, so give it proper thought and confront your daughter if needs be. It's your journey and your life, noone elses. Be strong and stand up for yourself - you deserve the best circumstaces in recovery. If there is a HP I'm sure he'll support you whatever you decide.

Quitting drinking is the hardest thing you'll ever do, it is for me. Everything needs to be right and as "comfy" as possible, in order to make it. I hope this makes sense?

I'm a really strong character and have no problem whatsoever in saying things as I see them. It gets me into trouble sometimes but TBH, I'm not interested. Please think of number 1 and put yourself first..This is only my advice/opinion, make of it what you will , take it or leave it! But whatever you decide, I hope it works out Kensie, I really do.

ATVB,

Good luck in your journey

kensie12

I have a nice update my daughter came to see me today and apologized for being pushy and wow you look great. I noticed too my face has lost the puffiness that I usually wear from the alcohol! I know it's out of her love for me she just wants me to get well she cried and hugged me it was really awesome! I'm having a little insomnia but was able to make it through work all week so maybe I'll get some sleep tonight.

fishkiller

That's awesome your daughter came to you. She obviously loves and cares about you.
You need to give yourself the same amount of love and care.

I say this as someone who, for years, brushed aside a bunch of suggestions that I didn't think would work for me. Sometimes getting out of our comfort zone is exactly what we need.
Our comfort zone is what got us into this mess.
Is not being able to smoke or read a certain book that important that you would give up a chance at a better life?
I'm not saying this place is right for you and I'm not saying it isn't.
I'm not saying your concerns aren't real.
All I am saying is once we get in this mess we need to do Whatever it Takes to get out of this mess.
Think about how it could help you not about what you don't like about it.
The AV will tell you anything to keep you drinking.
Stephen King will still have books when you get out.
They make patches and gum and things for nicotine cravings.

Who knows? You could find a new favorite author and find you can give up the cigs too.

I don't go to meetings and never did rehab or inpatient, outpatient or anything like it. So getting sober without all that is possible but don't throw away options based on such small things as a book or a cig if you cannot do it on your own.

There is a Much Better Life out there for you and your family.
Find it anyway you can.

We are rooting for ya

DriGuy

Kensie, have you been keeping track of how long you have gone without a drink? I'm not big on counting days, except in early recovery. But combine this with your mentioning that you have not been experiencing cravings, and it makes it difficult for me to understand where you are at.

Cravings were a murderous experience for me for the first week, so it makes it hard for me to relate to your experiences. Recovery can be both easy and hard. It varies from person to person. Once I got through the cravings, I was truly on my way, but that put me into the next big task in recovery; "How do you stay that way?" I suspect that is where you are now. Would that be right?

You sound like you are doing well. You seem to know roughly where your path lies and the route that will take you to lasting sobriety. Stick with it. I've been sober for 26 years, and the sober life is something I still approach with passion. It's well worth it.

Mizz

I think we all inherently know what we need to do for ourselves to live a better life. This recovery road is not a one size fits all approach. People do have a tendency to try to help. We want our loved ones to be healthy. Sometimes that help is not helpful. Listen to yourself and take on suggestions if they fit.

I agree with Fishkiller in the idea that we have to do whatever it takes to get ourselves out of the mess we found ourselves in. For me, I put myself on a very strict routine that is now my life. I became a drill sergeant to my brain. I did not allow anything to get in the way of structure. Wake, SR, run, chant, work, home, bath, dinner, bed, sleep. Repeat every single day until I got stable. Today, I dont see this way of living as strict. It has become my life and I am healthier for it. Happier for it. Its a whole new life.

You got this. You have the answers. We are here for support.

kensie12

Thank you all for your input. Today is day 7 I've managed to stay sober by attending 1 to 2 AA meetings a day and coming to the site often. I am a Christian but I feel the environment in The Sober House my daughter suggested is not my cup of tea most of the program centers around religion and while I am religious the program is a little rigid for me I feel that it won't be a good fit I need to be in my comfort zone that's just me with my animals here safe and my home safe otherwise I won't be able to relax and focus on my sobriety. I said that I really don't have cravings because I want sobriety more than I want to drink so anytime the thought crosses my mind I do something to counter it that focuses on sobriety. I finally accepted that drinking does not work for me and will only take me to the same place I went before. I am including religion in my sobriety I'll be attending church tomorrow as usual and bible study. I received a call on Friday that I missed and got a message from someone from the detox center checking in on me and asking if I needed further references so I'm going to call on Monday and see what's available maybe outpatient or counseling I'm ready to add all the tools that I need. Thank you all for your support it's been a big help

fishkiller

Put in the work and you will reap the rewards.
Sounds like you got a plan 👍

SoberLeigh

Welcome, kensie; nice to meet you.

My brain is a little shuffled these days and I am juggling lots of balls. Forgive me, if you have already found this thread. Joining an SR Class may be beneficial:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html

DriGuy

Lots of people don't do a meeting a day, and maybe they don't need to. I attended one meeting every night at 8:00 PM, and occasionally hit an afternoon meeting as well. I did not miss a meeting for 90 days, and after that, I seldom missed a meeting for the next year. I felt this was important for two reasons.

1)I enjoyed the community and I needed someplace to be other than a bar, and I also picked up tips and insights from other's personal experiences that were not found in the Big Book.

2)It was fairly easy to stay sober after work until 7:00 PM when it was time to get ready for a meeting followed by a group coffee get-together at a local restaurant, and when I got home it was time for bed. I basically didn't leave any time during the day to start drinking. I would go to bed sober saying out loud to no one, "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You." This was not some home spun recovery ritual, but born of unrestrained gratitude.

I agree with Mizz and others. We need to sort out (honestly) what others tell us is best for our own recovery. The worst advice I got from my best friend was, "You're OK, you're not an alcoholic." That was founded on his desire for me not to be an alcoholic, I guess.

There is nothing wrong with a rigid approach as long as you are honest with yourself about what you can and can't get away with. I had rigid rules about what I could do, and things I needed to avoid. I followed them closely and did not tolerate breaking them. I didn't follow the AA program closely at all. Some things resonated with me, but most of it was not a good fit. I am not religious, and I am not spiritual. Of course this depends on the semantics we use. I've been told by one person, I was the most spiritual person they had ever met, but they were focusing on some experiences I confided about what happens to me when I'm out alone in nature. I took it as a compliment, but avoided a discussion on semantics.

For me spirituality was not part of my recovery. This is not to say recovery did not offer me joy or moments, or even days of euphoria. My recovery was my responsibility. I listened to others, and used what made sense, recognized what I needed and sought direction on specifics as they arose. While the AA program was not a good fit, the community was a very good fit, and much of my recovery revolved around the community.

You are off to a great start. And instead of wishing you a speedy recovery, I'll wish you a recovery that lasts for the rest of your life. Alcoholism isn't like the flu. You don't get over it, and there doesn't seem to be an end to the benefits of ongoing recovery, which gets better year after year as you start learning more about coping with life in the absence of alcohol.

VikingGF

kensie-
It sounds like you have a good plan in place and the advice on this thread is smart and sound- I just want to add my support and say good work to you on day 7. It's so good to hear how well you are doing. Keep going. Life can be as good as you allow it to be.

Lanterns

Hello Kensie. Well done on 7 days. I completely agree about wanting sobriety more than wanting to drink and how getting to that moment is everything. Some really amazing support and wisdom in here. Look forward to reading more.

kensie12

Hello! I'm enjoying success in my recovery today I have 138 days! Staying sober by he grace of God, SR and the fellowship of AA I attend daily meetings and have a home group/sponsor. I got in service last month and was chairperson for four topic meetings. That was a little out of my comfort zone but I was able to do it and felt good giving back! it's a wonderful program! I'm enjoying the peace sobriety has brought to my life I've never felt better. Thanks to all who post on here I read your post everyday! much appreciated.

VikingGF

Great work, Kenzie. 138 is a fine number- thanks for letting us know your good news.

Dee74

Well done again Kensie

D

fishkiller

Thanks for the great update!
Enjoy the Freedom!