I want to feel good and have fun
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
I want to feel good and have fun
I’m coming up on a year sober soon and I thought I’d feel better than I do by now. Despite numerous tests that are all normal, I just don’t feel good. I try to stay positive and working on changing my mindset but something has got to give. My dr has referred to me to other specialists and I’m making those appts, but I’m guessing they’ll all come back fine too. My back hurts everyday, no energy, feel tired, irritable, stressed, head pressure (sometimes headaches but mostly pressure), brain zaps at night and so on. My anxiety and panic attacks have gotten better since supplementing with vitamins D after I found out it was low. My dr said she can’t do anything for me because everything seems normal. She doesn’t want to do a cat scan yet because I’m only 37 but after the specialists, if they find nothing she will. At the same time, I don’t feel “fun” anymore either. I went to a girls crafting night last night with some friends and had an ok time but definitely don’t feel like myself. Granted they were all drinking, and I’m fine with that, but I just feel so boring and unrelatable. We went to another party tonight and only stayed an hour, we didn’t know anyone except the host and I just couldn’t get thru it. I’m having a going away party tomorrow for my husbands moms friend and I feel excited and happy about it - maybe because I’m hosting. I don’t know what’s going on with me, I just feel so blah! I know I’ve posted about this before and you guys have mentioned depression but I don’t think that’s what this is. Maybe it is, maybe not. I just started a B complex as suggested by my dr even though my b-12 test was normal so I’ll see how that works. Does it get any better? Did anyone feel like this during the first year sober? I know everyone is different but I guess I’m looking for some hope. I just want to feel good and be a carefree spirit.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi Jillian
when I got sober I kinda had the expectation that I'd feel great everyday - that hasn't happened.
I had a lot of other issues to deal with, both physical and mental.
It was like getting sober was the tide going out and i found my beach strewn with a lot of rubbish.
I had to pick up every piece, and that took a while...still a lot quicker than the 30 years I gave to drinking and drugging tho.
I'm not a doctor. I don't know if you're depressed or not.
But I do know depression is not always lying in bed crying, the shades drawn.
Most times noone had no idea I was depressed, and I was on and off for decades....but I was joyless and distraught on the inside.
If you're current doctor's not giving you the attention you think you need, it's find to seek a second opinion I think?
Recovery is not meant to be endured
D
when I got sober I kinda had the expectation that I'd feel great everyday - that hasn't happened.
I had a lot of other issues to deal with, both physical and mental.
It was like getting sober was the tide going out and i found my beach strewn with a lot of rubbish.
I had to pick up every piece, and that took a while...still a lot quicker than the 30 years I gave to drinking and drugging tho.
I'm not a doctor. I don't know if you're depressed or not.
But I do know depression is not always lying in bed crying, the shades drawn.
Most times noone had no idea I was depressed, and I was on and off for decades....but I was joyless and distraught on the inside.
If you're current doctor's not giving you the attention you think you need, it's find to seek a second opinion I think?
Recovery is not meant to be endured
D
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Join Date: Jul 2022
Posts: 526
I am 40 and can totally relate to you. While I only have 2 weeks sober I wasn’t drinking a ton before I got sober. I have done a lot of research. Get your hormones tested! I’ve been reading a lot about progesterone/ estrogen levels
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by Dee74 
If you're current doctor's not giving you the attention you think you need, it's find to seek a second opinion I think?
D
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by AJ143143
I am 40 and can totally relate to you. While I only have 2 weeks sober I wasn’t drinking a ton before I got sober. I have done a lot of research. Get your hormones tested! I’ve been reading a lot about progesterone/ estrogen levels
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,407
One things for sure if you’re an alcoholic then drinking won’t help. It’ll just make your life even more miserable. If your sober and living recovery then things will get better. Keep moving forwards one step and day at a time. Keep going with the dr’s until you get the right diagnosis 🙏
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Join Date: Oct 2022
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Jillian2563
I’m coming up on a year sober soon and I thought I’d feel better than I do by now. Despite numerous tests that are all normal, I just don’t feel good. I try to stay positive and working on changing my mindset but something has got to give. My dr has referred to me to other specialists and I’m making those appts, but I’m guessing they’ll all come back fine too. My back hurts everyday, no energy, feel tired, irritable, stressed, head pressure (sometimes headaches but mostly pressure), brain zaps at night and so on. My anxiety and panic attacks have gotten better since supplementing with vitamins D after I found out it was low. My dr said she can’t do anything for me because everything seems normal. She doesn’t want to do a cat scan yet because I’m only 37 but after the specialists, if they find nothing she will. At the same time, I don’t feel “fun” anymore either. I went to a girls crafting night last night with some friends and had an ok time but definitely don’t feel like myself. Granted they were all drinking, and I’m fine with that, but I just feel so boring and unrelatable. We went to another party tonight and only stayed an hour, we didn’t know anyone except the host and I just couldn’t get thru it. I’m having a going away party tomorrow for my husbands moms friend and I feel excited and happy about it - maybe because I’m hosting. I don’t know what’s going on with me, I just feel so blah! I know I’ve posted about this before and you guys have mentioned depression but I don’t think that’s what this is. Maybe it is, maybe not. I just started a B complex as suggested by my dr even though my b-12 test was normal so I’ll see how that works. Does it get any better? Did anyone feel like this during the first year sober? I know everyone is different but I guess I’m looking for some hope. I just want to feel good and be a carefree spirit.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,148
I hope you feel better soon.
I wish I had an answer for ya.
I don't know how long you were drinking but for me it was decades.
That kind of punishment takes the mind and body a while to get over.
I'm almost at 3 years and still have my days but it is MUCH better than before and seems to get even better with time.
Hopefully it's just your mind and body adjusting.
I know it feels like it will never get better but with time and commitment I believe it will.
Stay close. These are the tests that reinforce our sobriety as we get through them sober.
I wish I had an answer for ya.
I don't know how long you were drinking but for me it was decades.
That kind of punishment takes the mind and body a while to get over.
I'm almost at 3 years and still have my days but it is MUCH better than before and seems to get even better with time.
Hopefully it's just your mind and body adjusting.
I know it feels like it will never get better but with time and commitment I believe it will.
Stay close. These are the tests that reinforce our sobriety as we get through them sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by fishkiller
I hope you feel better soon.
I wish I had an answer for ya.
I don't know how long you were drinking but for me it was decades.
That kind of punishment takes the mind and body a while to get over.
I'm almost at 3 years and still have my days but it is MUCH better than before and seems to get even better with time.
Hopefully it's just your mind and body adjusting.
I know it feels like it will never get better but with time and commitment I believe it will.
Stay close. These are the tests that reinforce our sobriety as we get through them sober.
I wish I had an answer for ya.
I don't know how long you were drinking but for me it was decades.
That kind of punishment takes the mind and body a while to get over.
I'm almost at 3 years and still have my days but it is MUCH better than before and seems to get even better with time.
Hopefully it's just your mind and body adjusting.
I know it feels like it will never get better but with time and commitment I believe it will.
Stay close. These are the tests that reinforce our sobriety as we get through them sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 525
I have come to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic for whom A.A. is the only solution. And when I say "only solution" -- I don't just mean the only way to stay clean and sober. Rather, I mean the only way to get out of self-centered self-pity and on with enjoying life. This is not to say alcoholics of this type ignore medical issues -- but we realize that our alcoholism is ultimately a spiritual problem, and that our spiritual foundation must rest on the fellowship, step-work, and service-work of A.A. Here's a quote from the Big Book that might be relevant:
We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments ... important ...? Of course it was. When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.
We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments ... important ...? Of course it was. When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,156
Originally Posted by Jillian2563
I started drinking in my teens but it was just occasionally. My drinking picked up in my early twenties when I quit smoking pot, and progressed in the last ten years to every day binge drinking.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,406
Congrats on getting to almost a year, Jillian- that's fantastic. There is some great advice on here- especially having your hormone levels checked. I think it took me about 9 months to start to feel OK and it's gotten better since then, and everyone goes at their own pace. Keep going, keep the faith and good work! Find some joy inside of you that you have come so far and no longer have the desire to drink on you every day- that awareness was responsible for much of my mental wellness.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I'm sorry that you're not feeling better, Jillian.
It sounds like your doctor has tested you and not found anything, but is sending you to specialists which is a good plan. But, I wonder if you're depressed. I didn't know I had depression because I always managed to get up and go about my day and I thought depression should different than that. It might be something to talk to your doctor about.
It sounds like your doctor has tested you and not found anything, but is sending you to specialists which is a good plan. But, I wonder if you're depressed. I didn't know I had depression because I always managed to get up and go about my day and I thought depression should different than that. It might be something to talk to your doctor about.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 725
Originally Posted by Jillian2563
She’s actually really great and caring and I feel like she is listening to me. But medically, she can’t really do anything because everything comes back normal, which I totally understand. She does tests that I’ve asked for through my own research. My next steps are to see the specialists which I’m sure entails more tests, and to follow up with her to see where we’re at. It seems I’m perfectly healthy and I don’t want there to be anything wrong but I kind of just wish I had an answer, if that makes any sense!
can so relate to this struggle. In my first year of sobriety I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety and a lot of random physical symptoms . All physical health tests kept showed nothing wrong.
So I accepted that a lot could be explained by brain recovering from decades of drinking, by my MH and also by the potential approach of menopause, in my case.
It did get better for awhile and I think I did have a couple of months where I felt good , both physically and mentally.
But for the past 6-7 months ,well after my mental health has vastly improved, my body is still not right. well not to me. Yet even hormones which she eventually tested say “no problems” , not in menopause, nothing unusual.
my doctor current theory is that it is a post-COVID immune response problem. That my immune system is just totally messed up after COVID and totally inflammed. Because this is a thing apparently.
Interestingly, I am having a CT scan soon. For some of same reasons as you. Persistent headache, first migraine in my life , visual disturbances , dizziness, persistent fatigue, etc.
while I obviously don’t want there to be something really wrong, would be nice to have an explanation and not feel like a total nutcase or hypochondriac . But hey, I am 19 months sober and lucky not to have a totally broken liver et al.
Most days I try to do what a good friend and mentor said to me. Relax a bit in my sobriety. Feel the moments of wellness and joy that do come.
Know that right now, you are doing everything that you can to get to the bottom of your health issues. That you are giving yourself the love and care you need. That in itself is amazing for people like us who have been so disconnected from our minds and bodies for so long.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Some great responses here, Jillian. I hadn't even thought about the long Covid thing that Tanky brought up, but it is real. 20% of people apparently are still suffering effects after 3 months according to the CDC in a recent NY Times article.
But I also wanted to mention that we often change in sobriety. I became much less social, more introverted, more quiet, and prefer my solitude. Socializing, or even being with other people for too long, wears me out - the sign of a true introvert. Yet no one would have called me an introvert during the decades I was drinking. It has always been my true nature, but drinking allowed me to become more extroverted - while taking a toll in other ways.
For me this change back to being more myself is good, others might want to find social venues that work better for them. Not saying this is what's going on with you but it could be playing a part.
Big congrats on your year!
But I also wanted to mention that we often change in sobriety. I became much less social, more introverted, more quiet, and prefer my solitude. Socializing, or even being with other people for too long, wears me out - the sign of a true introvert. Yet no one would have called me an introvert during the decades I was drinking. It has always been my true nature, but drinking allowed me to become more extroverted - while taking a toll in other ways.
For me this change back to being more myself is good, others might want to find social venues that work better for them. Not saying this is what's going on with you but it could be playing a part.
Big congrats on your year!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
Sometimes it can be difficult to improve your mood. If you keep working at it chances are it will get better.
I find if I keep active in my recovery I will be able to get through the tuff stuff.
I find if I keep active in my recovery I will be able to get through the tuff stuff.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by Tanky
can so relate to this struggle. In my first year of sobriety I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety and a lot of random physical symptoms . All physical health tests kept showed nothing wrong.
So I accepted that a lot could be explained by brain recovering from decades of drinking, by my MH and also by the potential approach of menopause, in my case.
It did get better for awhile and I think I did have a couple of months where I felt good , both physically and mentally.
But for the past 6-7 months ,well after my mental health has vastly improved, my body is still not right. well not to me. Yet even hormones which she eventually tested say “no problems” , not in menopause, nothing unusual.
my doctor current theory is that it is a post-COVID immune response problem. That my immune system is just totally messed up after COVID and totally inflammed. Because this is a thing apparently.
Interestingly, I am having a CT scan soon. For some of same reasons as you. Persistent headache, first migraine in my life , visual disturbances , dizziness, persistent fatigue, etc.
while I obviously don’t want there to be something really wrong, would be nice to have an explanation and not feel like a total nutcase or hypochondriac . But hey, I am 19 months sober and lucky not to have a totally broken liver et al.
Most days I try to do what a good friend and mentor said to me. Relax a bit in my sobriety. Feel the moments of wellness and joy that do come.
Know that right now, you are doing everything that you can to get to the bottom of your health issues. That you are giving yourself the love and care you need. That in itself is amazing for people like us who have been so disconnected from our minds and bodies for so long.
So I accepted that a lot could be explained by brain recovering from decades of drinking, by my MH and also by the potential approach of menopause, in my case.
It did get better for awhile and I think I did have a couple of months where I felt good , both physically and mentally.
But for the past 6-7 months ,well after my mental health has vastly improved, my body is still not right. well not to me. Yet even hormones which she eventually tested say “no problems” , not in menopause, nothing unusual.
my doctor current theory is that it is a post-COVID immune response problem. That my immune system is just totally messed up after COVID and totally inflammed. Because this is a thing apparently.
Interestingly, I am having a CT scan soon. For some of same reasons as you. Persistent headache, first migraine in my life , visual disturbances , dizziness, persistent fatigue, etc.
while I obviously don’t want there to be something really wrong, would be nice to have an explanation and not feel like a total nutcase or hypochondriac . But hey, I am 19 months sober and lucky not to have a totally broken liver et al.
Most days I try to do what a good friend and mentor said to me. Relax a bit in my sobriety. Feel the moments of wellness and joy that do come.
Know that right now, you are doing everything that you can to get to the bottom of your health issues. That you are giving yourself the love and care you need. That in itself is amazing for people like us who have been so disconnected from our minds and bodies for so long.
I’m starting to think my symptoms may also be post Covid as I’ve had Covid twice in 2022. I’m trying to remember back to when my symptoms started but I quit drinking 11/2021 so either I had no symptoms then, was masking with them with alcohol if I did, or just don’t remember because I was drunk every night. I too, told my dr I’m not trying to be a hypochondriac and thankfully she listens to me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by advbike
Some great responses here, Jillian. I hadn't even thought about the long Covid thing that Tanky brought up, but it is real. 20% of people apparently are still suffering effects after 3 months according to the CDC in a recent NY Times article.
But I also wanted to mention that we often change in sobriety. I became much less social, more introverted, more quiet, and prefer my solitude. Socializing, or even being with other people for too long, wears me out - the sign of a true introvert. Yet no one would have called me an introvert during the decades I was drinking. It has always been my true nature, but drinking allowed me to become more extroverted - while taking a toll in other ways.
For me this change back to being more myself is good, others might want to find social venues that work better for them. Not saying this is what's going on with you but it could be playing a part.
Big congrats on your year!
But I also wanted to mention that we often change in sobriety. I became much less social, more introverted, more quiet, and prefer my solitude. Socializing, or even being with other people for too long, wears me out - the sign of a true introvert. Yet no one would have called me an introvert during the decades I was drinking. It has always been my true nature, but drinking allowed me to become more extroverted - while taking a toll in other ways.
For me this change back to being more myself is good, others might want to find social venues that work better for them. Not saying this is what's going on with you but it could be playing a part.
Big congrats on your year!
talking this out has helped me come to some conclusions so I thank everyone for their perspective on things.Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi Jillian,
I think your last post is sending you in the right direction. We are funny creatures, in that even if you ignore alcohol for a minute, we are always changing.
The problem often is that we have some idea of ourselves we try to maintain, because we honestly think that’s who we are, and the way our heads show tell us something is wrong is by giving this edgy uncomfortable feeling.
Drinking takes that edge of, so I think that’s why we notice it more clearly in sobriety (trust me, I felt it BIG time).
The tricky thing is the message that something is wrong doesn’t come coupled with a “what is right”, so you have to read into life’s little signals to find that out (just like you said you have on your last post),
Of course, if you think there’s something wrong medically then absolutely keep investigating, but if it looks like there isn’t, then I think exploring new things is the way forward.
What that means for you I can’t say, but it’s only by trying different things that you will find out (and, just like you are doing now, by being honest with yourself when something it or isn’t working).
I hope you feel better soon and I’m confident there are much better days ahead for you!
Mr P
I think your last post is sending you in the right direction. We are funny creatures, in that even if you ignore alcohol for a minute, we are always changing.
The problem often is that we have some idea of ourselves we try to maintain, because we honestly think that’s who we are, and the way our heads show tell us something is wrong is by giving this edgy uncomfortable feeling.
Drinking takes that edge of, so I think that’s why we notice it more clearly in sobriety (trust me, I felt it BIG time).
The tricky thing is the message that something is wrong doesn’t come coupled with a “what is right”, so you have to read into life’s little signals to find that out (just like you said you have on your last post
),Of course, if you think there’s something wrong medically then absolutely keep investigating, but if it looks like there isn’t, then I think exploring new things is the way forward.
What that means for you I can’t say, but it’s only by trying different things that you will find out (and, just like you are doing now, by being honest with yourself when something it or isn’t working).
I hope you feel better soon and I’m confident there are much better days ahead for you!
Mr P
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