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Old 09-02-2022, 02:25 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
kes
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Hi CM,

Fellow Brit here. I thought you'd drink cider, that was my poison, if you can call ***** ***** cider!!LOL Never been near an apple. 7.5 litres per day (7.4%) it was all I could afford

If I drank wine I'd do 4 bottles a day. 2 for breakfast, first one in 10 mins as a "straightener," stops the shakes and then take on the day.

81 days dry today. HTG, I'd rather get hit by a bus that go back there. It was the closest thing to hell on earth CM. Pure, pure misery. Insanity basically. I don't know what's around the corner but I'll draw on everything I have, all my reserves to stop a relapse. I know it's kerplunk if that happens, I ain't got another recovery in me, at 51.

CM, be as strong as a a grizzly bear, and you'll make it buddy. It was a 10 day inpatient detox that saved my life. I wouldn't be posting now if I hadn't gone for it.

Keep on moving on and give time, time. You'll be fine

For the first 50 days it was an hour at a time but that's getting better, now I work through mornings, afternoons and eveings with the view to be able to think a day at a time, maybe around day 100.

Good luck bro, keep posting and let me know how you're doing.

Last edited by Dee74; 09-02-2022 at 02:50 PM. Reason: Removed brand as may be trigger
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Old 09-02-2022, 03:40 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Hi there

Thanks for your support. Still on the wagon and still suffering from undiagnosed abdominal pain.

Cider, wine, sherry, random bottle of Chinese rice wine… Like most of us I guess, I have drunk virtually anything that has been fermented that was lying around, no matter how foul tasting. They’re all just delivery systems of course. But we are creatures of habit, so we settle on one we find convenient. I probably used to like wine, but not the wine I ended up drinking - that just needs to be strong and cheap and easy to swallow straight from the bottle when needed (especially at 4.00 a.m. to take the edge off things, as you say!). I think as an alcoholic what we really want is a bottle of vodka condensed so it fits into a shot glass and tastes of nothing. There have been times of course when I’ve drunk a bottle of Vodka and some, as the thought of having to get through three or more bottles of wine to get the same buzz was too much trouble. No matter how bad it seems when I think about it, I have still relapsed a fair few times since deciding to stop for good. I think i’m getting slightly better at understanding the mechanics of my relapses though, so this may be it!!

Originally Posted by kes View Post
Hi CM,

Fellow Brit here. I thought you'd drink cider, that was my poison, if you can call ***** ***** cider!!LOL Never been near an apple. 7.5 litres per day (7.4%) it was all I could afford

If I drank wine I'd do 4 bottles a day. 2 for breakfast, first one in 10 mins as a "straightener," stops the shakes and then take on the day.

81 days dry today. HTG, I'd rather get hit by a bus that go back there. It was the closest thing to hell on earth CM. Pure, pure misery. Insanity basically. I don't know what's around the corner but I'll draw on everything I have, all my reserves to stop a relapse. I know it's kerplunk if that happens, I ain't got another recovery in me, at 51.

CM, be as strong as a a grizzly bear, and you'll make it buddy. It was a 10 day inpatient detox that saved my life. I wouldn't be posting now if I hadn't gone for it.

Keep on moving on and give time, time. You'll be fine

For the first 50 days it was an hour at a time but that's getting better, now I work through mornings, afternoons and eveings with the view to be able to think a day at a time, maybe around day 100.

Good luck bro, keep posting and let me know how you're doing.
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Old 09-02-2022, 03:54 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Cornishman, I really appreciate what you said about understanding the mechanics of your relapses. In my case, I would become very anxious by about the 4th or 5th sober day, to the point of feeling like I was in my own self-made prison. It felt like such hell that I would have "just one" (ha) to "take the edge off" (double ha). It because a vicious cycle for me, because things would only be worse after the subsequent re-starts. But when I learned about why anxiety can start up in early sobriety, what my particular version of that was and some options for responding, it really helped me, finally, to overcome triggers. I do think learning from relapses can be really valuable.
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Old 09-02-2022, 04:17 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
kes
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Lol CM,

Yeh me too, i've drank stuff twhere I've had to hold me hooter to get it down.

Before going into detox, I was eyeballing the hand sanitiser. 70% alcohol, Flushed it away before i did. What a ******* state to get into.
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Old 09-02-2022, 05:14 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Damn kes that’s some serious cider drinking. Glad you are off that level and in recovery.
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Old 09-02-2022, 07:33 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Wow, Lots of great words here. Kudos to you all!
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Old 09-06-2022, 07:15 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
kes
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Hi CM,

How goes it buddy? Just thought I'd check in with a fellow Brit.

Day 86 (wed) and I still have cravings, intense but short lived 10 mins tops. In that 10 mins I'd snap your hand off for an alcoholic drink. It's so real I can almost taste the stuff or reach out an touch it! I hope to God, it don't last for ever and one day I won't even give it a thought. If I was granted 3 wishes that would be my first, Never wanting or thinking about the bloody stuff again.

Hope you're doing well CM. If you see this let me know how you're getting on.

Bw

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Old 09-06-2022, 08:19 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Keep going Kes - you're doing great

D
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Old 09-07-2022, 03:34 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Wagon rolls on

Hello

Still on the wagon. I don’t really get cravings, but as the misery (and physical pain) of withdrawal ebbs away, the attraction of drinking grows again. It’s a fetish really - all the stuff surrounding the alcohol: the glasses, the bottle shapes and colours, the cosy bars and pubs etc., the warm feeling of mulled wine at Christmas! All of that leads to the solitary glugging of cheap wine, in the dark, in the kitchen at 4.00 am in November. So, constantly reminding myself of all the misery and listing all the mental, physical and financial costs is the way to resist temptation.

Keep it up or it all goes to ****!

Originally Posted by kes View Post
Hi CM,

How goes it buddy? Just thought I'd check in with a fellow Brit.

Day 86 (wed) and I still have cravings, intense but short lived 10 mins tops. In that 10 mins I'd snap your hand off for an alcoholic drink. It's so real I can almost taste the stuff or reach out an touch it! I hope to God, it don't last for ever and one day I won't even give it a thought. If I was granted 3 wishes that would be my first, Never wanting or thinking about the bloody stuff again.

Hope you're doing well CM. If you see this let me know how you're getting on.

Bw
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Old 09-07-2022, 04:24 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Play that tape forward. Alcohol will Always lead us to the same place we are running like hell from.

Now play the tape forward and envision the Life you Want to live.

You Can have it.
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Old 09-07-2022, 01:33 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Doing great Cornishman.

Stay the course. Don't let your guard down.
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