TammyDHU882

Nobody hates me more than I do

Anna

That was how I felt too, Tammy. That's what alcoholism does to us. But, you can find your way out and learn to live a sober and happy life.

Kaily

Don't hate yourself, hate your addiction instead. Take action to conquer it. You can and will I'm sure .

Sending you a big hug.

Cityboy

Us alcoholics are noted for feeling that way. Most all here have talked about it. I certainly felt that way. After 2.5 years sober, there is still guilt, sure. It's not those overwhelming waves of intense guilt that it was while still drinking though.

Dee74

I used to feel that way too Tammy.
I used to think what’s the point of trying to get sober when you’re such a despicable person underneath it all anyway?

Each binge or bender left me with more and more things to feel shame or guilt about…the weight was crushing.

But I didn’t want to die, so I quit… and I found to my surprise that I really wasn’t despicable…the dark clouds were from the alcohol not me.

The guilt and shame lifted too, in time


Change is hard, but you’ll find support here- you’re not alone

D

dustyfox

Yes I know that feeling. It stopped almost the day I decided, for real, to quit.

Hevyn

Hi Tammy. I always tell myself the drunk me was not the authentic me. She was a fool - but I am not.
Please talk to us. You can rise above these feelings & have a wonderful life.
Glad you are here.

zenithboy88

Hi Tammy,
. Self loathing is something most of us have in common here.
Until we put more sober time behind us and move on.
Once we stop putting the booze in our mouths , we can move on.
As you can see on this forum, there is a lot of excellent advice and knowledge
Stick with it and you will feel a lot better mentally in the near future.
I'm still working on it too btw.

least

When I was drinking, I hated myself too. But after getting sober, the self hatred went away.

Welcome to the family.

mns1

Count me as someone who used to feel that way as well Tammy. For a long time I was consumed by self-loathing. It wasn't until I started taking action to be the person I wanted to be that I started to let go of that hatred. I had to practice a little "fake it till you make it" for a while, but things got better. One day at a time.

You can pull yourself out of the pit of despair you feel trapped in. And we've got your back.

kes

Hi Tammy,

Sounds like you've hit rock bottom and the only way now is upwards. Please don't hate yourself, it can happen to anyone, this is a terrible disease.

In a previous post, I said when I hit rock bottom, I thought I'd lost all my self respect. I'm on day 79 and I've realised that I hadn't it was just hidden under layers and layers of feelings and negative emotions. It was still there and has surfaced again. It feels great damn great!! Yours wiill be there just hidden away. Once you realise this, your guilt will vanish into the ether and you'll move on in a far better life. Guilt is a waste of time unless you use it to your advantage and kick for real.

Of course I struggle and crave, we all do, but I know I can't go back to hell. It aint a good place, pure misery, despair, torment and crippling emotional pain. I tell myself that 100 times a day or more.

Hope this helps Tammy. You can do it!!! You can do it!!!!!, You can do it!!!

If I can kick, any alcoholic on this planet can. I was chronic and riddled with the disease.

Mizz

You will feel better.
I believe in you, Tammy.

Zebra1275

This is how it should read.

"Nobody hatesAlcohol more than I do"

Get alcohol out of the equation, and get some sober time, and it will probably change your perspective.