Wife in Rehab for another week wants to separate when she gets home.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,611
Originally Posted by Burlcfii 
Thanks again all. Sorry I haven't posted its been such a week. My kids are devastated, however not they are just acting as all is normal. Mommy calls when its convenient. Today was back to school for the older two. Who handled everything yesterday and today? Wed my youngest starts Kindergarten and her mommy wont be here. My lord why does this happen. I don't even care about her and I anymore I'm past that but my kids. My little love, this is a big milestone. Daddy is here. Wow its just unbelievable. And she is away asking for pictures and saying oh they look so grown. Last week she was fine with the custody order I got, until she got back out of state and received the custody order and read what was in it, and how she was represented. now she is getting a lawyer. Ok thats fine. Good luck with that. She got to come home at the end of last week and break our kids hearts and leave and I had to pick up the pieces. its not right. shes so sick and thinks she so well. The woman I am talking to is not her. She's not drunk but it must be her medication. No emotion. She had emotion when she saw the girls for the first time, but no emotion when she told them everything. everyone was upset including me. but she didnt. I still dont think shes right. Ugh, unfortunately she has made decisions that cant be taken back. I mean im serious does this happen? A pretty dang good marriage go to separation and adultery in less then a month in a rehab facility. Please if you have love ones sick do not send them to The Haven or The Recovery Team. It is horrible.
A few things, sometimes when people are newly sober they can experience a lack of emotion. As you mention, it could also be her medications.
I'm sorry for all you are going through, I know it's so painful for you and your kiddies. You know, maybe now is the time to call in the village? Do you have family members you can call on, a grandmother or Aunt that might want to be with you when you take your little one to kindergarten, that kind of thing. Friends or family that can visit. When your world is all wonky, it can help to have others you care about and that care about you and your family around.
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Join Date: May 2022
Location: California
Posts: 354
May or may not be useful but al-anon may still be of help to you and your girls, my friend
Co-ed in-patient treatment rehabs are not appropriate in my opinion. I thought it was a little weird when I checked into an all mens facility but after hearing even more stories like yours. Co-ed rehabs are breeding grounds for bad news.
Co-ed in-patient treatment rehabs are not appropriate in my opinion. I thought it was a little weird when I checked into an all mens facility but after hearing even more stories like yours. Co-ed rehabs are breeding grounds for bad news.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 15
Thanks again all. I do have such a good village. Unfortunately with my job I work 4 nights a week. Typically only about 4-6 hours, but I have 3 young kids so that has been really hard. My neighborhood friends my family and hers have been so helpful. I have thought of a new life saying for myself at the moment. "Over the Sad, Dealing with the Mad, Focused on the Positive Present."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 15
Thanks Farrier. I haven't been as much as I was. I have been in the thick of it with the kids starting school this week and working its been a week. I have a big support system at home. I will continue to check in and try to give im 2 cents. Not sure if its good nothing has worked yet. I guess I cant say that, my kids are taken care of and have a home and a parent who is here for them so I guess I may can give some advise. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE PRESENT. If your in a situation like mine you can change it no matter how hard you want to. Just focus on you positive present whatever that may be. Kids, Family, Work, Health, or a good combination of all of it is best I would say. Hey I'm 27lbs lighter once I started focusing on myself a bit.
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