JohnToon

Congratulations!!! We'll done.

VikingGF

Today is the day I outlive my dad, a day I really saw as my own limit when I was drinking. He died this day at 57. RIP, Dad. I beat the terrible thing you could not, and will continue to strive to do so.

TiredCarpenter

fishkiller

Sorry about your Dad. 57 is way too young.

Keep kickin alcohols butt for Dad

DriGuy

That's a very nice memorial to your father.

Free2bme888

Happy belated birthday, Viking!

I was freaked when I turned 45, my mom had two debilitating strokes, then, that left her a hémiplégic and wheelchair bound for 22 more years, and resulted in us three kids going Into foster care.

Just yesterday I thought “I hope I live as long as my mom, or longer”. Thatd be only 7.5 years left.


Viking, you are doing GREAT, and there are no guarantees as we well know, so each day, especially sober, is such a gift.

YOU are a gift to me, and so many others.

Thank you for saving your life.

kes2

Way to go Viking. This is an inspiration to us all!

I'm sure Pops will be watching from the other side and will be so proud of you!!!!

ATVB,

Kes

VikingGF

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. It was a pretty contemplative day, which I didn't expect. I guess I should have seen that coming. At any rate, I'm here, there are things I need to do to make my life more of what I want it to be, but at least now I have a fighting chance. I watched my dad be forced into things I know he didn't want, but he was a passive guy who didn't make waves, just sat in that chair every night, drinking vodka on the rocks. He was never mean, never raised a hand to me, he was funny and kind. He loved me, he loved my mom. They were separated and I was only a kid but I sort of knew he didn't get over that. They never divorced. He eventually was transferred far away- away from everyone he knew- and he went. I will never know why he went instead of finding another job- that wasn't information for a little kid. I was crushed. He was my whole world and he went so far away I only saw him in the summer, a kid sitting in an empty condo while he worked during the day. I actually don't even remember much of it. It was miserable, I remember that. At least I got to leave- he stayed there- and died alone one night. Just didn't get to bed that night- died right in his chair, leaving that as my legacy, or so I thought. At 16, I thought my world ended, but it went on, and so did I. I was accepted to college 2 weeks after he passed- he didn't even get to know that. It bothers me how little I remember of him now. My memory has never been good- I have trouble recalling details of things from my childhood and young adulthood- don't know why. I know why I don't remember my forties and early fifties! Little things have been coming back since I stopped drinking, but it's not much.
I'm rambling, as I often do here on SR when I'm trying to process my feelings. I'm fortunate to have this place where I can do that, and everyone is so patient, kind and supportive. Thank you all so much.

Mummyto2

way to go well done

Worried14

You weren't rambling at all Viking. It's a very sad post but he sounds a lovely man and I'm sure he'd be happy that you're doing so well

Dee74

VGF

D

Runswithspoons

Coming late to this party, Viking, but congrats, and thanks for sharing your story. There are frequently a lot of gray areas in this disease, as illustrated in the tender way you described your father. Sounds a bit like my dad, who I regret couldn't have the longer life he deserved.
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