CH333

I'm new to looking for support. I have been mostly (I had a few issues with medication with alcohol as an ingredient...) sober for over 3 years, but this literally is one day at a time. I say all the time that I just trade one addiction for another over and over again. Some days I don't think about it at all, other days figuring out how to sneak alcohol into my house and past my husband is all I think about (today is one of those days...). Addiction sucks. And I do have someone to talk to about all of this but some days they are not available, and since there's no such thing as too much support, I find myself here. Sometimes just getting it out of my head is help enough, so I am very grateful to everyone on here doing their best to save themselves and complete strangers too.

Kerrew

Hi CH333, welcome to the forum, congratulations on your 3 years that’s amazing, I am new enough here too, today I am struggling too, thinking about drinking all day, but I just keep reminding myself where it will lead to, and I absolutely do not want to go there again. I am sure more established members here will be able to give better advice than me, good luck with everything ☮️

mns1

Welcome CH. I had similar experience in previous attempts at sobriety where I would rack up some sober time and go days, even weeks without really thinking about drinking. But then out of nowhere the most remote trigger would cause intense cravings and obsessive thoughts of drinking, and I would throw in the towel. When I accepted that my AV is always going to be in there, just waiting for me to let my guard down, my mindset changed. Now I'm ready, and I always will be. It can't trick me anymore. I realized that addiction doesn't care whether you are happy or sad, whether you have everything going for you or nothing. It will find an opening and it will make its move. And you have to be ready to see right through it the moment it rears its despicable head.

Dee74

Welcome aboard CH333 - you'll find a lot of support here

D

least

Welcome to the family.

Zura

Congratulations on 3 years CH333. Good on you for seeking more back up in your sobriety journey. Welcome to the family ☺️

VikingGF

Congrats on 3 years sober, CH333, but I am sorry to read that you are still struggling. It sounds like at some level, you still feel alcohol is a viable option, or you wouldn't be thinking about it so often. Maybe think about why you stopped, write down all the negative things that happened while you were actively drinking, read a lot here and focus on the things that have improved since you quit. So often when we think of drinking after we have stopped, we forget how hideous it all was- being a true slave to a substance and having no control over anything once it was in our body. We romanticize it and forget that it was all lies and ruined absolutely everything. At some point, you will want to not even entertain the thoughts any longer- and just cast them aside completely and go about your business. Read about the AV and how to combat it if you have not already, and certainly come here and ask lots of questions. You have THREE YEARS. For sure you have plenty of coping skills and tools in your arsenal- be proud of how far you have come and look for the key to finding peace in your sobriety. You will. I just know it.

aasharon90

All of us in recovery are traveling on this journey
in life learning how to become the best person we
can be inside and out.

Finding support amongst others like ourselves or
similar is important so that we don't have to travel
these roads in life alone or by ourselves.

Addiction is unforgiving and keeps us sick in so
many ways. Getting and staying sober is by far
more rewarding.

Sometimes it's hard to see that, but it is when
we look more closely and experience the small
miracles we receive each day.

Continue to come here and share with folks
about your day so that you can receive some
helpful suggestions to solve some of those daily
struggles.

Take care of yourself when it comes to restlessness,
irritability and discontent. Are you experiencing any
of these? How about H.A.L.T.? Are you hungry, angry,
lonely, tired?

Continue to be teachable, willing, openminded and
most of all honest in your thoughts and actions.

All of these recovery tools can help strengthen your
recovery foundation to help you achieve continuous
sobriety and find you happiness, serenity and peace
of mind in life.

DriGuy

Congratulations on 3 years of sobriety. I found that outside support and being able to hang with people who understood and who could give me ideas when I ran into snags was very helpful. Maybe even the difference between success and failure. I do know a few people with long term sobriety who did it entirely alone. For me, doing it with others was important, and I'm grateful those people were there back then. I don't think this forum was available, because I got sober just about the time the internet was catching on.

zoobadger

It's a combination of things that I try to rely on during moments of weakness. Recently, it was nine in the morning and I was having thoughts of how vodka would magically take away the panic attack I was feeling.

Nine in the morning. OBVIOUSLY, you're a total alcoholic if you're even thinking that. I reflected on that fact. And I tried to think about my favorite time of the day, which is dawn or earlier. I love to get up really early. And I thought about how I haven't been sick in forever. I'm SO much healthier. My liver was right on the edge of oblivion when I checked into rehab, and it's totally recovered now. I feel so proud after my annual doctor visit and I get the blood test results back and everything is healthy and normal. I try to remember that, and how hard I worked to not die of liver failure.

Just focusing on all the good things I have because I'm sober, even if in that moment when I'm really feeling emotionally sick, I can remember that sobriety is sooo precious.

Just writing it right now will help the next time I get an episode of anxiety (lately, it's been work stress, and I'm really trying to calm the **** down about work. The stakes are not that high).

It's hard, but like cravings, episodes like this are temporary. I know I can get through them.