Six months, new lease on life
Sober Soldier
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Six months, new lease on life
Hello friends.
It's been a while. Although I am happy to say that, unlike all the other times that I've returned after a long hiatus, I am not crawling back in self-pity and shame.
I have been sober since February. However, it has been a long, difficult and scary six months.
I initially got sober when my drinking caused some alarming health issues to develop. I have since been hospitalized three times and undergone two surgeries. In the midst of it all I have been subjected to extensive medical testing. It has been one of the scariest and most stressful periods of my entire life. There were moments where I thought with near certainty that this was the beginning of the end of my life.
But I am thrilled to report that yesterday I was given a (mostly) clean bill of health. Still some complications from a medical condition that I must deal with, but they are very manageable and my doctors expect them to be resolved within a few months.
The funny (or not so funny) thing is where my mind has gone since receiving that news. My AV has resurfaced for the first time in months. It saw my restored health as the perfect opportunity to drink. What an insidious little son of a gun.
My response: Not today, buddy.
Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Never again.
I truly feel like I have been given a new lease on life. I am reclaiming my health from the filthy hands of alcoholism, I am surrounded by amazing family and friends who have literally at times carried me when I wanted to curl up in a ball and give up. I am still fairly young (35) and feel optimistic about the future for the first time in I don't know how long. And I just wanted to pop in and tell you guys how amazing it feels. And also encourage newcomers and those struggling.
Please don't give up. I almost did many times. And I am now more grateful than ever that I didn't.
It hasn't been easy, but goodness gracious has it been worth it
It's been a while. Although I am happy to say that, unlike all the other times that I've returned after a long hiatus, I am not crawling back in self-pity and shame.
I have been sober since February. However, it has been a long, difficult and scary six months.
I initially got sober when my drinking caused some alarming health issues to develop. I have since been hospitalized three times and undergone two surgeries. In the midst of it all I have been subjected to extensive medical testing. It has been one of the scariest and most stressful periods of my entire life. There were moments where I thought with near certainty that this was the beginning of the end of my life.
But I am thrilled to report that yesterday I was given a (mostly) clean bill of health. Still some complications from a medical condition that I must deal with, but they are very manageable and my doctors expect them to be resolved within a few months.
The funny (or not so funny) thing is where my mind has gone since receiving that news. My AV has resurfaced for the first time in months. It saw my restored health as the perfect opportunity to drink. What an insidious little son of a gun.
My response: Not today, buddy.
Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Never again.
I truly feel like I have been given a new lease on life. I am reclaiming my health from the filthy hands of alcoholism, I am surrounded by amazing family and friends who have literally at times carried me when I wanted to curl up in a ball and give up. I am still fairly young (35) and feel optimistic about the future for the first time in I don't know how long. And I just wanted to pop in and tell you guys how amazing it feels. And also encourage newcomers and those struggling.
Please don't give up. I almost did many times. And I am now more grateful than ever that I didn't.
It hasn't been easy, but goodness gracious has it been worth it
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,164
A clean bill of health, a release from stress, and a joy. What better time for the AV chime in? I get it. That would have sent me over the edge at one time. It seems like you accomplished a lot for not buying into the AV's little scheme. Congratulations.
Sober Soldier
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Thank you everyone.
Same here DriGuy. It sent me over the edge TOO MANY times. Over and over again. For years and years. I've spent a lot of time over the last six months pondering how much my drinking almost cost me. Once I fully wrapped my mind around everything I had to lose, it became crystal clear... Drinking is no longer an option. No ifs, ands, or buts. End of story.
Originally Posted by DriGuy 
That would have sent me over the edge at one time. It seems like you accomplished a lot for not buying into the AV's little scheme.
You've done a great job of getting free.
Sober Soldier
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Thank you thank you.
So true BTBS. That's what's been particularly enlightening about this most recent experience. I used to try and figure out "why" I drank, i.e., I thought that it was stress/sadness/anxiety/PTSD/etc. that triggered the AV to whisper sweet nothings in my ear to make me "feel better." The fact that it arose now, at a time when I'm feeling deep relief, happiness, and optimism, really shows how addiction doesn't discriminate based on the context of your emotions. When you are vulnerable -- be it in a negative or positive light -- it is the perfect opportunity for your AV to make its move. This is why we can not let our guard down.
Recognize it. See right through it. Move on.
Period.
Originally Posted by BornToBeSober
The AV will pop up with its lies when it feels you are most vulnerable. Glad you caught it. Be cautious because jt is ready and waiting for you to slip up.
Recognize it. See right through it. Move on.
Period.
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