I'm a newcomer in england with a severe drink prob
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: NC
Posts: 1,655
Hi Kes. Congrats on your sober time! 54 days is a great start. I joined here shortly after I quit and visit everyday. There are lots of caring, smart people who can help you along the way. Read, lurk, post its all good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 274
No not before. I did a 10 day inpatient detox and left the unit on 23rd June 2022 after succesfullycompleting it. i haven't drank since, but boy is it tough. An hour at a time today. Hope that makes sense. I'm new to this forum stuff but need to chat with those who get it. Fed up of people saying have a cup of tea, it will be fine when all I want is to get loaded, but know i cant otherwise I'll be finished
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 274
Thanks - I can use all the support and wisdom from you guys but boy is it tough! Really struggling at the present but hanging in there. One slip and down the hole I'll fall, that I know. One shot is too much, a barrel not enough as you'll know
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
The early days are hard Kes, but they will get easier. Post here and read as much as you want.
We also have an July Thread and an August support thread for everyone quitting in those months. Feel free to check them out.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-10.html (Class of July 2022 Part 1)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-one-6.html
We also have an July Thread and an August support thread for everyone quitting in those months. Feel free to check them out.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-10.html (Class of July 2022 Part 1)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-one-6.html
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,568
Hi kes! I was just like you when I quit. I'd been drinking for decades & it was part of everything I did. It's so hard to believe I let it take over my life. It barely crosses my mind now.
I found SR 15 yrs. ago. I started reading & posting - and I never left. The people here helped give me the courage to quit & begin a new life. Knowing everyone understands means everything. We all know what you're going through. I promise it will get easier. I was quite miserable in the early days, though happy to be free of it.
You can reclaim your life and feel hopeful & happy again, kes. Stay here and talk it out - we care.
I found SR 15 yrs. ago. I started reading & posting - and I never left. The people here helped give me the courage to quit & begin a new life. Knowing everyone understands means everything. We all know what you're going through. I promise it will get easier. I was quite miserable in the early days, though happy to be free of it.
You can reclaim your life and feel hopeful & happy again, kes. Stay here and talk it out - we care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 274
Thanks Hevyn.
Drink has ruined my life, career, friendships, finances, you name it. This really is last chance saloon. If it makes sense, it's the same as one of those snakes like a python that locks round it's prey, and slowly chokes the life out of it. A long and agonising death for its victim, it just won;t let go, the more it's prey struggles the tighter it's grip. That is alcohol to me. There once was a time when it was my best friend, now it's my worst enemy. I'm just thinking aloud, but thanks for listening and I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
Drink has ruined my life, career, friendships, finances, you name it. This really is last chance saloon. If it makes sense, it's the same as one of those snakes like a python that locks round it's prey, and slowly chokes the life out of it. A long and agonising death for its victim, it just won;t let go, the more it's prey struggles the tighter it's grip. That is alcohol to me. There once was a time when it was my best friend, now it's my worst enemy. I'm just thinking aloud, but thanks for listening and I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,508
Hi Kes, Welcome!
Yes, alcohol takes everything good in our lives and destroys it. I'm glad you've stopped drinking and are working hard to stay sober. You'll find lots of support here.
Yes, alcohol takes everything good in our lives and destroys it. I'm glad you've stopped drinking and are working hard to stay sober. You'll find lots of support here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 274
Thanks Hevyn.
Drink has ruined my life, career, friendships, finances, you name it. This really is last chance saloon. If it makes sense, it's the same as one of those snakes like a python that locks round it's prey, and slowly chokes the life out of it. A long and agonising death for its victim, it just won;t let go, the more it's prey struggles the tighter it's grip. That is alcohol to me. There once was a time when it was my best friend, now it's my worst enemy. I'm just thinking aloud, but thanks for listening and I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
Drink has ruined my life, career, friendships, finances, you name it. This really is last chance saloon. If it makes sense, it's the same as one of those snakes like a python that locks round it's prey, and slowly chokes the life out of it. A long and agonising death for its victim, it just won;t let go, the more it's prey struggles the tighter it's grip. That is alcohol to me. There once was a time when it was my best friend, now it's my worst enemy. I'm just thinking aloud, but thanks for listening and I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,944
Hi Kes, another brit here. First off, give yourself a bit of praise for 55 days. You mightn’t realise it at this moment, but you’ll definitely be feeling better now than a few weeks ago. It’s a gradual thing with a few bad days chucked in.
For me, I quit 3.5 years back, and I do genuinely remember my day 55 as I had a mini family crisis and was inches from relapsing. I didn’t fortunately and am still here. No reason why you can’t do likewise.
Like most of us, you would’ve spent a few hours a day drinking and will now be left with a massive void. Are you doing anything to fill the time? You’ll have way more time on your hands so go and there and enjoy. I don’t want to bang on about boring me, but I quit at 49 and life has changed unrecognisably. (Most) things just have a way of working out once we’re free of this alcohol.
100%. We’re all in that boat. If you’ve reached day 55, no reason why you can’t nail this for good. Feel free to chat. No cups of tea here 🤣
For me, I quit 3.5 years back, and I do genuinely remember my day 55 as I had a mini family crisis and was inches from relapsing. I didn’t fortunately and am still here. No reason why you can’t do likewise.
Like most of us, you would’ve spent a few hours a day drinking and will now be left with a massive void. Are you doing anything to fill the time? You’ll have way more time on your hands so go and there and enjoy. I don’t want to bang on about boring me, but I quit at 49 and life has changed unrecognisably. (Most) things just have a way of working out once we’re free of this alcohol.
One slip and down the hole I'll fall,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 274
Thanks Hodd. I did my10 day de-tox in Doncaster, after I finished it I found the first 30 days or so okay and if anything was a little smug thinking I'd cracked it, then I had a crap day sorting out my council tax and wow did I realose how far I was away from nailing it. I was so close to cracking. Last week I had a really good day as my liver function tests showed a dramatic improvement and again I nearly slipped down the hole! It just seems it's always going to be there whether it's a good or bad day, nagging away at me saying *Go on this time it will be different.* As I said in an earlier post, alcohol is the devil.
The void is massive as I started drinking at 8am and continued heavily all day. until I ran out. I'd often go 3 days without eating and was in a hell of a mess.Can't go back there, no way, I'd rather get hit by a bus.
The void is massive as I started drinking at 8am and continued heavily all day. until I ran out. I'd often go 3 days without eating and was in a hell of a mess.Can't go back there, no way, I'd rather get hit by a bus.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,944
Hi again Kes, yep, any little storm in a teacup in the early days sets all the cravings to maximum. But you didn’t cave in with the council tax hassles, so that’s definite progress.
Priority 1, you need to fill that void with work, a new hobby/activity or whatever. People who try and quit without changing anything else are the ones who struggle. I’m not going to be nosey and ask what you’re doing with your time, but you need something new in there.
Priority 1, you need to fill that void with work, a new hobby/activity or whatever. People who try and quit without changing anything else are the ones who struggle. I’m not going to be nosey and ask what you’re doing with your time, but you need something new in there.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome, kes. Keep fighting that urge - it does get easier, and the urges do subside. Sounds like you're doing the right things, and I hope you stick around and read and keep posting. There is a deep well of wisdom here on this site from those who have been where you are. It's not always easy but I figured if I made it to bed sober, I'd gotten it right.
I often think of a line from "Call the Midwife." In the show, one of the older nuns has a brother who is an alcoholic probably in his sixties - the kind who steals food from the nuns, sleeps in a shack and is generally the prototypical drunk who just doesn't stay sober and who the nun says, "He's clever. He runs circles around the doctors in rehabs and then just goes back to the bottle." [sic]
Somehow they get him into yet another detox, and he shows up sober later on.
His line was, "The drink hates those who love it most."
I often think of a line from "Call the Midwife." In the show, one of the older nuns has a brother who is an alcoholic probably in his sixties - the kind who steals food from the nuns, sleeps in a shack and is generally the prototypical drunk who just doesn't stay sober and who the nun says, "He's clever. He runs circles around the doctors in rehabs and then just goes back to the bottle." [sic]
Somehow they get him into yet another detox, and he shows up sober later on.
His line was, "The drink hates those who love it most."
Member
Join Date: May 2022
Location: California
Posts: 354
Hi Kes! I'm learning how to live sober also. Went through detox and in-person rehab just 3 months ago myself. I'm 91 days sober today. It's no walk in the park but it does ease up as each day passes.
I attend daily in-person AA meetings and recently started zooming also when I need a little extra support. For now, I only associate with sober people but I do keep connected with the people in my life that care and respect my sobriety.
And last but not least.......I stop in and read this website daily. I have found so much love and support here.
I attend daily in-person AA meetings and recently started zooming also when I need a little extra support. For now, I only associate with sober people but I do keep connected with the people in my life that care and respect my sobriety.
And last but not least.......I stop in and read this website daily. I have found so much love and support here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: NE United States
Posts: 1,070
Thank you sharing Kes and congrats on 56 days. Sounds like we have similar drinking stories. All day (starting in the morning) with very little food consumption. I agree with earlier posts that finding some new habits is key. Exercise, meditation, gratitude lists and journaling have been keys for me In the past. Eventually I fall off these habits though and then when something stressful (or exciting/positive happens) I give in and have a drink and it’s right back to daily drinking. Great job riding your urges out. For me, from what I’ve read on this site and through the variouis Smart Recovery and AA meetings I’ve tried, the most important thing is accepting alcohol just can’t be part of your life anymore.
Good luck and keep going!
Good luck and keep going!
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