I had a small relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2022
Posts: 526
I had a small relapse
Hi guys ... This is my first time writing here...
My story in a nutshell : Growing up, I never drank or used drugs. For context, I am 40 years old. I started drinking minimally in my late twenties.... As my career became more stressful, my drinking increased. It was a social job so it never seemed like over kill. I never got a DUI or hit a "rock bottom". In the 3 years or so the stress of a divorce, my mother almost dying a few times and the pandemic ruining my company I feel like I started to drink more often. I still found a way to make money and still work out almost everyday but I realized about 2 years ago that I didn't like that I drank everyday. ( 2-4 drinks) but it was my go to. So about a month ago I decided to stop drinking and I didn't for a month and I was so happy with how much better I felt.
Last week I went on vacation and drank for 5 days....Not only did I drink, I ate unhealthy food and I texted men back that I shouldn't cause I was buzzed and "happy buzzed" .... So today is day one again ( just hit 24 hours) But I am really bummed on myself ... I was feeling so good... so so healthy mentally and I just want to be back to that place. I felt proud of myself.... I know my trigger is stress for sure.
I just am looking for encouragement right now. I am feeling depressed right now ( I am assuming from the shame I feel from drinking during my vacation ) .... I right the book by Elizabeth Vargas and I relate so much with her story ...
Any words of encouragement to get back on this path are helpful. Thank you
My story in a nutshell : Growing up, I never drank or used drugs. For context, I am 40 years old. I started drinking minimally in my late twenties.... As my career became more stressful, my drinking increased. It was a social job so it never seemed like over kill. I never got a DUI or hit a "rock bottom". In the 3 years or so the stress of a divorce, my mother almost dying a few times and the pandemic ruining my company I feel like I started to drink more often. I still found a way to make money and still work out almost everyday but I realized about 2 years ago that I didn't like that I drank everyday. ( 2-4 drinks) but it was my go to. So about a month ago I decided to stop drinking and I didn't for a month and I was so happy with how much better I felt.
Last week I went on vacation and drank for 5 days....Not only did I drink, I ate unhealthy food and I texted men back that I shouldn't cause I was buzzed and "happy buzzed" .... So today is day one again ( just hit 24 hours) But I am really bummed on myself ... I was feeling so good... so so healthy mentally and I just want to be back to that place. I felt proud of myself.... I know my trigger is stress for sure.
I just am looking for encouragement right now. I am feeling depressed right now ( I am assuming from the shame I feel from drinking during my vacation ) .... I right the book by Elizabeth Vargas and I relate so much with her story ...
Any words of encouragement to get back on this path are helpful. Thank you
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Welcome AJ! It's wonderful to have you with us. When I joined here years ago I was in terrible shape - drinking every day, sick, and weak.
The people I met here let me know I was never alone. It meant everything. I had no one else to confide in - family & friends just didn't understand what I was going through.
I'm glad you've made the decision to stop drinking. I finally realized that once alcohol was in my system unpredictable things would always happen. I was putting myself in dangerous situations & causing serious trouble in my life. This won't happen to you!
The people I met here let me know I was never alone. It meant everything. I had no one else to confide in - family & friends just didn't understand what I was going through.
I'm glad you've made the decision to stop drinking. I finally realized that once alcohol was in my system unpredictable things would always happen. I was putting myself in dangerous situations & causing serious trouble in my life. This won't happen to you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
welcome to SR AJ 
Getting sober is hard and staying sober can be even harder....many of us faltered a time or two. There's a lot of support here tho - this community was a game changer for me and I'm sure it can be for you too
D
Getting sober is hard and staying sober can be even harder....many of us faltered a time or two. There's a lot of support here tho - this community was a game changer for me and I'm sure it can be for you too
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2022
Posts: 526
Thank you guys so much for your replies. I just went on a run and I am feeling a bit better. I called a good friend who reminded me that shaming myself won't help. We do a lot of work based around Brene Brown... It is so weird that I drank cause I was so happy not drinking. Another trigger for me is being on a plane and I am not scared of flying... it just I guess is what I have always done for the most part. I have to fly Thursday again and I am determined to not drink. It will be my last flight until October so... fingers crossed... It is amazing what even 24 hours with no alcohol can do to clear your mind...thank you again everyone
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
Hi AJ, sorry you drank. As you say, no point beating yourself up. I was interested to see airplanes are a trigger. That and airports are triggers for lots of us, and I remember being shocked at this after just a few months sober. Hope you’re ready for Thursday, just drink loads of water 🙂
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,412
Welcome, AJ- Yes, let the guilt go and focus on today for sure. Have a plan for the plane- lots of water, listen to Elizabeth Vargas (audiobook on the plane really helps me- tunes everything out) and check in here. You can do this, you sound very determined. You don't drink, no matter where you are, or what the situation.
Glad to have you here!
Glad to have you here!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Welcome! You are on your way to feeling better mentally, physically and emotionally. Quitting drinking will be the best thing you ever did for yourself and your precious life. Its one of the best things I have ever done for my life. Now that you know your triggers, you can work diligently to stay centered and acquire tools to help you through the stress. I believe in you!
Ive been listening to a lot of Brene Brown lately. The podcast "Heart of the Matter" by Elizabeth Vargas is outstanding. Both of those women are doing some amazing work and they offer a lot of hope. A lot of wisdom.
Keep on moving forward. You can do this. We are all here for you. Life has so much to offer us and its not in the bottom of a bottle.
Ive been listening to a lot of Brene Brown lately. The podcast "Heart of the Matter" by Elizabeth Vargas is outstanding. Both of those women are doing some amazing work and they offer a lot of hope. A lot of wisdom.
Keep on moving forward. You can do this. We are all here for you. Life has so much to offer us and its not in the bottom of a bottle.
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