Coming up on 3 years!, still feel like a newcomer....
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 244
Coming up on 3 years!, still feel like a newcomer....
It is so odd looking back on my old posts here - they really document where I was and how truly broken I felt.
About to hit 3 years - and though I'm not personally involved in AA, I'm still taking this thing a day at a time. I'm about a year into my 3-year addiction grad program and a fellow student was telling me the other day his story, and while he's been sober for 15 years, he's still worried he will make a mistake one night and lose everything..........it really got me thinking.
The more sober time we have, the more our lives improve, the more trust we earn back........ the more we have to lose if we slipped. I'm personally not worried, but it was a reminder that my past is still a part of me. All that exists between me and another newcomer here working on day 1 is one day - that's it. So, I am still a newcomer and probably always will be! I still get the thoughts (not cravings... but the "it's Friday, you worked super hard all week thoughts).....and just like back at day 1 I have to play the tape through - I call a friend, I distract my brain with a run or a video game.......my AV has quieted down immensely and I ignore it most of the time, but it very much still exists.
My anxiety disorder, which led me to alcohol, is very much in remission - but it still takes work. I still have to go to therapy, i still have to take my meds everyday - i still have to do the work to keep it where it's at. That's how i feel about my recovery - it's in remission, but I still need to think about it, I need to reach out to my friends who are struggling, and thankfully studying addiction counseling has me thinking about addiction constantly.....writing a 9-page paper on how alcohol effects the brain is a great way to not want to think about alcohol, AT ALL!
I don't post here much, mainly because I'm usually talked out about addiction, but being at 3 years has me feeling a bit nostalgic, and this forum really helped turn the title wave around for me. I'll always be grateful for the support I received here, and I hope to one day be more active and pay it forward.
Have a great weekend everybody 💙
About to hit 3 years - and though I'm not personally involved in AA, I'm still taking this thing a day at a time. I'm about a year into my 3-year addiction grad program and a fellow student was telling me the other day his story, and while he's been sober for 15 years, he's still worried he will make a mistake one night and lose everything..........it really got me thinking.
The more sober time we have, the more our lives improve, the more trust we earn back........ the more we have to lose if we slipped. I'm personally not worried, but it was a reminder that my past is still a part of me. All that exists between me and another newcomer here working on day 1 is one day - that's it. So, I am still a newcomer and probably always will be! I still get the thoughts (not cravings... but the "it's Friday, you worked super hard all week thoughts).....and just like back at day 1 I have to play the tape through - I call a friend, I distract my brain with a run or a video game.......my AV has quieted down immensely and I ignore it most of the time, but it very much still exists.
My anxiety disorder, which led me to alcohol, is very much in remission - but it still takes work. I still have to go to therapy, i still have to take my meds everyday - i still have to do the work to keep it where it's at. That's how i feel about my recovery - it's in remission, but I still need to think about it, I need to reach out to my friends who are struggling, and thankfully studying addiction counseling has me thinking about addiction constantly.....writing a 9-page paper on how alcohol effects the brain is a great way to not want to think about alcohol, AT ALL!
I don't post here much, mainly because I'm usually talked out about addiction, but being at 3 years has me feeling a bit nostalgic, and this forum really helped turn the title wave around for me. I'll always be grateful for the support I received here, and I hope to one day be more active and pay it forward.
Have a great weekend everybody 💙
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,409
Originally Posted by Donnylutz 
The more sober time we have, the more our lives improve, the more trust we earn back........ the more we have to lose if we slipped.
Congrats on 3 years! So happy you came back and posted.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
All that exists between me and another newcomer here working on day 1 is one day
Thanks for the nice post. You should post more 🙂
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Originally Posted by Donnylutz
So, I am still a newcomer and probably always will be!
Shoshin is a term from Zen Buddhism meaning "beginner's mind." It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner would.
It’s dropping our expectations and preconceived ideas about something, and seeing things with an open mind, fresh eyes, just like a beginner.
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few”
― Shunryu Suzuki
― Shunryu Suzuki
I strive to see the world with the eyes of a child, filled with awe and wonder at the splendor that surrounds me.
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