No AV vs. avoidance. Is that a thing?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
I don't think this is a bad thing at all, quite the opposite. You've reframed your perspective. It takes some longer than others for any myriad of good reasons (and what the root causes of the addiction were/are).
Case in point: there's a half-full bottle of Titos in my pantry, because my old man likes to have a drink when he comes over sometimes. I'll even mix him one (he's never struggled with addiction and drinks moderately). I have never felt tempted to go into my pantry and poach Dad's vodka, or to open any of my collector bottles of wine in the cellar. I have no plans on ever drinking them, either. I regularly attend heavy-drinking events with my extended family (because most events in my extended family are heavy-drinking events). It's pretty simple - I don't drink alcohol so it doesn't matter. If I ever felt even a smidge of temptation, I'd remove every trace from the house. But I haven't had an active AV in well over a year now.
I know I could get alcohol in a moment's notice from virtually anywhere. I could go for a drive and pick up a pack of hard seltzers right now and pound them in the garage when nobody's looking. Why? That sounds f'n miserable. I've been down that road.
All of this had to do with a big shift in perspective. I don't drink. I don't now, and it's not in my future. There's nothing there for me. I've internalized that even "one drink" would be a road into darkness that could steal my energy, my health, my successes and joys; I even know the immediate science behind how the drug would work on my system and *why* I would, ultimately, not enjoy it.
That doesn't mean you're weak and not working on your sobriety. That means you're in a good place living your life. Enjoy it
.
Case in point: there's a half-full bottle of Titos in my pantry, because my old man likes to have a drink when he comes over sometimes. I'll even mix him one (he's never struggled with addiction and drinks moderately). I have never felt tempted to go into my pantry and poach Dad's vodka, or to open any of my collector bottles of wine in the cellar. I have no plans on ever drinking them, either. I regularly attend heavy-drinking events with my extended family (because most events in my extended family are heavy-drinking events). It's pretty simple - I don't drink alcohol so it doesn't matter. If I ever felt even a smidge of temptation, I'd remove every trace from the house. But I haven't had an active AV in well over a year now.
I know I could get alcohol in a moment's notice from virtually anywhere. I could go for a drive and pick up a pack of hard seltzers right now and pound them in the garage when nobody's looking. Why? That sounds f'n miserable. I've been down that road.
All of this had to do with a big shift in perspective. I don't drink. I don't now, and it's not in my future. There's nothing there for me. I've internalized that even "one drink" would be a road into darkness that could steal my energy, my health, my successes and joys; I even know the immediate science behind how the drug would work on my system and *why* I would, ultimately, not enjoy it.
That doesn't mean you're weak and not working on your sobriety. That means you're in a good place living your life. Enjoy it
.
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