Confused about FOMO
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,343
Confused about FOMO
Today was a good day. I took a boat ride with my friend and her husband. I have another friend who moved back here for a few months (she’s a traveling nurse) and we had lunch. Then I went to PT for my hand. My husband works overnight tonight and tomorrow. I feel alone. I wanted to drink. Instead I made plans with one of my friends and her husband to run tomorrow at eight in the morning. I didn’t want to do that. But I didn’t want to drink either.
I hope that it’s not going to be this way forever. I have this FOMO right now. It’s Friday night! Let’s drink! Let’s make popcorn. Let’s watch the Smithsonian channel or 20/20!!
But I know that I can’t do that. I feel like I did some serious damage as of late. And I have a race next month. And I look and feel awful. I mean I look awful. Like a shell.
I cleaned my master bath and bedroom after my husband left. I’m sitting here in bed with the dogs. It feels temping to cancel with my friends tomorrow. And go to the down to convenience store and get a bottle of wine.
FOMO. I mean what am I missing out on? Getting drunk? What’s the fun in that? In blacking out?
Thank you.
I hope that it’s not going to be this way forever. I have this FOMO right now. It’s Friday night! Let’s drink! Let’s make popcorn. Let’s watch the Smithsonian channel or 20/20!!
But I know that I can’t do that. I feel like I did some serious damage as of late. And I have a race next month. And I look and feel awful. I mean I look awful. Like a shell.
I cleaned my master bath and bedroom after my husband left. I’m sitting here in bed with the dogs. It feels temping to cancel with my friends tomorrow. And go to the down to convenience store and get a bottle of wine.
FOMO. I mean what am I missing out on? Getting drunk? What’s the fun in that? In blacking out?
Thank you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
When my head was filled with decades of drinking, it was hard to let that go in favour of something else.
Now I have the best part of 2 decades not drinking, I know I’m not missing out on anything at all
D
Now I have the best part of 2 decades not drinking, I know I’m not missing out on anything at all
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,418
You did the perfect thing, you came here. The FOMO would actually be missing running with your friends, in my opinion. Your thought process will change with time. I never imagined wanting a night free of drinking, but now that’s all I want. My nights are fun, filled with activities I want to do and interactions with people I enjoy. Or I’m on my own in appreciation of time to myself. Keep going. It gets better and easier, Peke.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
It won't always be that way. I had to relearn how to do my favorite things without a drink in my hand.
My FOMO was what I was giving up by drinking. My family, my sanity, my life, me.
My FOMO was what I was giving up by drinking. My family, my sanity, my life, me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,343
Thank you all so much.
After I posted this I had so many regrets. I thought that you might all think that I was weird to write what I wrote. But it’s exactly how I feel tonight. I’m still sitting here in bed. I’m texting friends. I’m petting my dogs. I feel like I can’t watch Smithsonian channel because I really enjoy watching it when I am intoxicated. The same with the other show. I’m glad I didn’t cancel on my friends tomorrow. There will be other Friday nights. JIC I want to drink. But not tonight.
After I posted this I had so many regrets. I thought that you might all think that I was weird to write what I wrote. But it’s exactly how I feel tonight. I’m still sitting here in bed. I’m texting friends. I’m petting my dogs. I feel like I can’t watch Smithsonian channel because I really enjoy watching it when I am intoxicated. The same with the other show. I’m glad I didn’t cancel on my friends tomorrow. There will be other Friday nights. JIC I want to drink. But not tonight.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
Hi PL, you haven’t really given up alcohol, have you? You’re not daft, far from it. You know that you’re addicted to alcohol. Deep down, you know what a lot of us have found out - you have to quit forever. The alternative is to be an active alcoholic. When you say you’re not going to drink tonight, it does imply you’re planning to do so soon in the future. Whilst you still have that mindset, you’re always going to drink eventually.
Why don’t you want to quit forever? It’s the only way and also the easiest.
Why don’t you want to quit forever? It’s the only way and also the easiest.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
There is nothing weird about what you are feeling.
The Best thing you can do is exactly what you did. Write it out. Talk about it. Anything but fall for the lie of FOMO.
That is just your AV calling you back to the cycle of misery.
YOU do not want to drink or you would not be here on SR.
Your addiction, however, wants to be fed. Keep starving it. It will grow weaker.
You ain't missing a thing. Except pure misery.
Keep posting, keep fighting. Figure out what you need to do to turn the corner where you realize drinking causes us to miss out not the other way around.
The Best thing you can do is exactly what you did. Write it out. Talk about it. Anything but fall for the lie of FOMO.
That is just your AV calling you back to the cycle of misery.
YOU do not want to drink or you would not be here on SR.
Your addiction, however, wants to be fed. Keep starving it. It will grow weaker.
You ain't missing a thing. Except pure misery.
Keep posting, keep fighting. Figure out what you need to do to turn the corner where you realize drinking causes us to miss out not the other way around.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
There will be many more Friday nights you are correct. You can drink anytime you want.
The trick is to change your mentality so you don't want to.
I told myself I can drink IF I WANT to. Thing is, I don't want to. Thats why I came here.
Neither do you.
It's pure AV telling you otherwise. Shut it down. Focus on the new life you DO WANT.
The trick is to change your mentality so you don't want to.
I told myself I can drink IF I WANT to. Thing is, I don't want to. Thats why I came here.
Neither do you.
It's pure AV telling you otherwise. Shut it down. Focus on the new life you DO WANT.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
FOMO will not last forever. Nothing lasts forever
I did experience FOMO before. Eventually leading to a relapse. Many relapses actually. Lots of going back in and not learning the lesson, or partially learning but succumbing to drinking anyways.
This go round, I didnt experience FOMO as I had felt, seen, learned all that I needed to know about what alcohol does to me and life. So, from my perspective the FOMO does not always exist. Change the mental channel. Keep changing the channel until a new song is playing. You got this!
I did experience FOMO before. Eventually leading to a relapse. Many relapses actually. Lots of going back in and not learning the lesson, or partially learning but succumbing to drinking anyways.
This go round, I didnt experience FOMO as I had felt, seen, learned all that I needed to know about what alcohol does to me and life. So, from my perspective the FOMO does not always exist. Change the mental channel. Keep changing the channel until a new song is playing.
You got this!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I can drink OR I can do everything else.
But I dang sure can't do both.
Which choice causes me to miss out on more?
Easy to see when it is someone else. Not as easy to see when your AV is lying to you about it.
But I dang sure can't do both.
Which choice causes me to miss out on more?
Easy to see when it is someone else. Not as easy to see when your AV is lying to you about it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,584
Fishkiller s reply reminded me of an old friend who said to me smugly, "I can drink anytime I like." I replied, "so can I." lol
No one thinks you're weird Peke. Saying it like it is is the way forward. And I'm glad you're not going to cancel. What a waste that would be. Enjoy the day Peke.
No one thinks you're weird Peke. Saying it like it is is the way forward. And I'm glad you're not going to cancel. What a waste that would be. Enjoy the day Peke.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: west falls, ny
Posts: 602
Hi Peke,
. Wow! Your Smithsonian channel and drinking hit the nail on the head with me.
I loved history(watching old wwii documentaries) and also comedy(celebrity roasts) when I drank.
For me it worked because they didn't take to much coherency to under stand.
I'm not saying that's your experience.
It just worked for me ( the Germans are bombing a place or people are making fun of some celebrity).
Watching a movie or something with a plot and I would just stare blankly at the TV.
. Anyhow, I've been making myself a good dinner in the evening and then taking a bath and reading.
I'm not too far along on my sobriety journey but I'm trying to stay away from TV programs that trigger me
.
. Wow! Your Smithsonian channel and drinking hit the nail on the head with me.
I loved history(watching old wwii documentaries) and also comedy(celebrity roasts) when I drank.
For me it worked because they didn't take to much coherency to under stand.
I'm not saying that's your experience.
It just worked for me ( the Germans are bombing a place or people are making fun of some celebrity).
Watching a movie or something with a plot and I would just stare blankly at the TV.
. Anyhow, I've been making myself a good dinner in the evening and then taking a bath and reading.
I'm not too far along on my sobriety journey but I'm trying to stay away from TV programs that trigger me
.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,337
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
If drinking causes you problems, then drinking more will cause you more problems.
FOMO is a lie. It's a lie because you do miss the good parts of being intoxicated, but "FOMO" selectively edits out all the memories of hangovers, shame, overindulging, lying, and whatever else came along with drinking. (For me it was all of that.) "FOMO" also is a lie because of the (false) implication that the only fun to be had is while intoxicated.
The part of the brain that wants to be drunk warps reality, so you can say things to yourself that are totally untrue, just to keep drinking. You CAN have fun sober, and drinking IS problematic. At least it was for me, so I quit, and now I'm happier. Now instead of FOMO I have FODTMASUMLAH.
(FODTMASUMLAH = "fear of drinking too much and screwing up my life and happiness")
Come to think of it, Trimpy had AVRT, I'll have FODTMASUMLAH. Has a nice ring to it. Pronounce it "fodt-ma-sum-lah."
FOMO is a lie. It's a lie because you do miss the good parts of being intoxicated, but "FOMO" selectively edits out all the memories of hangovers, shame, overindulging, lying, and whatever else came along with drinking. (For me it was all of that.) "FOMO" also is a lie because of the (false) implication that the only fun to be had is while intoxicated.
The part of the brain that wants to be drunk warps reality, so you can say things to yourself that are totally untrue, just to keep drinking. You CAN have fun sober, and drinking IS problematic. At least it was for me, so I quit, and now I'm happier. Now instead of FOMO I have FODTMASUMLAH.
(FODTMASUMLAH = "fear of drinking too much and screwing up my life and happiness")
Come to think of it, Trimpy had AVRT, I'll have FODTMASUMLAH. Has a nice ring to it. Pronounce it "fodt-ma-sum-lah."
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
I definitely felt that way for a while. I had relied on alcohol for fun & excitement for so many years. Even though it was destroying me, it still felt strange to be without it - and I was disoriented in the early days. Gradually the joy of being free of it took over. Feeling sorry for myself did not last, Peke. New and better feelings & emotions take over as we heal.
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