Steely

Two days ago I went with my daughter to see 'second opinion' doctor. She does not belive she has schizophrenia, or anything else for that matter. Too bad her theory does not play out into the real world.

I had to take 3 modes of public transport (and return), wait for an hour in cold park, all trying to support her right to seek second opinion. And I know it will come to nought.

Over past two days been receiving really angry guilt tripping messages. Says she hates me. Never support her. And I'm done.

I text back and said next time she needs someone to do what I had just done in support, to ask someone she does not hate. Then asked her to leave me alone.

She is doing what she normally does. As soon as I introduce a boundary she changes tack and becomes 'reasonable', but it does not last.

I cannot make contact with her at the moment. I want these days to be my own.

My life has been consumed by this and it cannot continue.

Zura

That must be so difficult Steely but good on you for looking after yourself. Sending you hugs ❤️🤗

Dee74

Steely

D

Anna

Steely, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how painful it must be to hear your daughter say those words to you. I know how you have given everything you could to help her and be there for her. Stepping away for awhile sounds like a good idea. It's time to focus on you and try to find some peace, knowing you have done all you can do.

Hawkeye13

You have a right to your own life—to peace—even family doesn’t have the right to destroy either.

My mother really felt I owed her my whole life, and that her addiction, depression, and narcissism was my burden to carry as long as she wished simply because I was her daughter.

It ain’t so Steely—I fully support and empathize with you cutting contact for now.
You deserve to survive and thrive

DriGuy

That's sad, Steely. I hope you will patch things up some day. It may be a while. We can't predict the future.

Steely

Thank you so much Hawkeye. I was feeling like a chattel, and I didn't like the feeling.

I am having no contact until I'm ready. I've seen me fall in before, and it can't happen again.

Days of my own for a while. And I might go permanent. Lol

And I feel good about this. It's a right decision.

Sometimes you've got to get dusted.

RunningScared

I have mental illness. I am bi-polar, and it started in my teens. I was really unreasonable at the time. There is nothing you can do except set boundaries.

VikingGF

When it comes to getting sober- I think we have to be a bit single-minded and anything that can take us off course needs to be avoided. I'm so sorry that in this case it's your daughter- but you can't help her if you can't help yourself first- and then you can decide what to do next. Keep your boundary and focus on yourself, it's ok. The fact that she is able to change her behavior when you treat her differently indicates that she has some control- she will be alright.

least

Steely I'm so sorry for your pain. . I went thru a similar thing with my daughter when she was a teen to a young adult. It's improved quite a bit. I hope you daughter will come around to see reason somehow.

Steely

Thanks least.

Magnolia123

Mental illness is excruciating for everyone involved.

I feel for both of you.

Her words to you were most likely born of her own frustration and illness..

I wouldn't take it personally.

That said, you are obviously no good for anyone or anything if you allow yourself to get sucked in and worn out.

Please take care of YOUR mental and physical health. It's imperative that you do this.

I'm sorry anyone has to go through this, i really am.

Steely

Thank you Magnolia, that was lovely of you.

Good advice, too.

It feels good just to chill on my own for a while. Respite is mine today.

fishkiller

You deserve a break.
How long of a break is up to you.
We can't help those who don't want or feel they need help.
We know. We have been that person.

Steely

That's true Fishkiller. Can't catch a fish with no tackle.

Icandothis2013

Hugs Steely. I have a similar situation with my son as you know.Someone said to me “Detach with love”. That’s all you can do. As Dee said to me once “you deserve to be happy ! “ xx

Mizz

Steely- I am sorry about all of this. I do understand how hard this is for you. We have dealt with mental health issues in our family. Psychiatric holds, arguments, blaming, trying to implement boundaries, grief, and the list goes on and on. Its exhausting.

It is good you have taken a step back. You get to decide when you are ready to take on the situation again. You are important and your life matters. Breathing mask first kinda thing. I know it has been all consuming. I think you are doing amazingly well and will continue to do so! Hugs to you, Steely.

Steely

Thank you Mizz. Your loveliness never falters.