sharkattack

I had a good few days of sobriety. Feeling really good, clear thoughts, you know. Today, no work, I went for a walk and had to do a couple of things. Anyway, I've just slipped back and made a visit to the supermarket. It'd be easy to say pour it away but that's not going to happen today. I should check in during the sober days. The trouble is I've got nothing to say. Should I really start a thread saying "Hi everyone, I've nothing to say." Maybe someone will come in and say, "hi, I've nothing to say either." We can have a long debate about who can say the least.
People always have a story on here. I haven't got an interesting story. Mine is that I drink because life is..........
Interesting; I just stopped there because I was trying to think what life was and I couldn't answer. What is it that makes us want to do this? I think it's something that I can't face. Is it boredom I wonder. I'm getting philosophical but what is it that I'm hiding from? Why can't I just be with myself? Why am I such a bad neighbour to myself?
This isn't about drinking is it? That's just the symptom. Life is meaningless and painful. We have to face that. I can't paper over it with other activities as they're still futile.
I was thinking recently how I have to make friends with the AV. It is me after all. Today's a slip that's all. Anyway, I've nothing to say and that's a pretty long winded way of not saying it. Tomorrow I aim to stop again.
I'm really amazed at the generosity of spirit I see on here. I'd like to be in a position to help someday. All the best everyone.

Alpine

Shark, I started a thread awhile ago and at times I have "nothing " to say..but for me it is to hold myself accountable. People do stop by and reply to my posts or hit "thanks" or I am sure just read it and move on. Everybody has something to say whether it is positive, negative, insightful, etc..It has started to be a place for me to free write when I am frustrated, happy, depressed..etc. It has helped me to clear my thoughts and not act on my cravings.
Maybe continue this thread?? Or start an new one? I will keep a look out for it. :-)

doggonecarl

Or you could just reply to other people's posts, offering support and encouragement....like people do for you.

sharkattack

Hi Alpine. You see already in replying to you I've nothing to say. I don't know how people have things they want to say. Yes, maybe I'll just keep some line of communication open with a thread like this and people can come in not saying anything either. Maybe just to say "hello, I'm a person struggling. How are you?"

sharkattack

Hi doggonecarl. Yes I could do that and I will. But I don't know what I'm talking about right now. What I mean is, I can't give any advice if I don't know what I'm doing.
And please don't think I don't appreciate the support I've been given here already.

nez

Today is an an even better day to stop. I didn't plan my stop day, although I had plenty of planned stop days that never quite worked out the way I planned before I got to my non-planned stop day. I just decided enough was enough, made a decision, and proceeded forward. I don't mean to make it sound easy, because it wasn't. It took a lot of hard work, but the harder I worked, the harder and more determined I became not to go backwards. I have no regrets about my decision of that day. I had a plentiful history of failed attempts and regrets over the decisions to drink once again.

Yes life can be painful, but it also can joyous; and nothing is more joyous than being free from the clutches of alcohol. My life took on meaning in recovery. I was never going to know or experience that as long as I was drinking.

Today is a good day to stop. There is never going to be a better one. Don't take my word for it, do it and find out for yourself. Once you stop, don't spend time planning the outcome, just take the outcome and follow through on your decision and continue to follow through, taking the outcome as it comes. Life will take on a whole new meaning that you won't find any other way.

sharkattack

I was thinking that maybe that's just what I am. I'm someone who just doesn't relate to other people. I've never been easy around strangers. I always wondered what I should say etc. Now, being so old, I just act as I am. I find that I don't have nerves around people because I don't try to be anything else. I know I'm a kind person and a good person but maybe I just don't know the social rules.

biminiblue

When I first got sober I was going to AA meetings - where I was expected to talk. It was painful and confusing. I hated it.

So I joined this site and my "Class of March 2014" thread and I just posted in it every day, then read around the forums and gleaned pieces of insight. There are a lot of wise people on this site and any problem I've had since getting sober was worked out in these forums, sometimes by posting about it and sometimes by reading someone else's struggle with the same thing.

Just being here is a good thing.

doggonecarl

I didn't say give advice. I said give support and encouragement. Can be as simple as posting a emoji.

sharkattack

Thank you biminiblue, that's great. Yes, that makes a lot of sense. I need to find my feet first before I start launching out. I'll look around in more detail. I might find a different way to post on here.

biminiblue

In case you're interested, here is the "Class of June 2022" thread.

Jump in, or just read. It's up to you, but being involved really helped me.

"Connection is the opposite of addiction."

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html

sharkattack

Thanks biminiblue. I'll look on there now.

Alpine

At first I just read other threads and participated in some: Morning gratitude, 2 hr, whinners, and few others. I tend to not be a talker and have "nothing" to share but through those threads I found out I do have experiences to share, my own insight. I am sure the same is with you. If you get a chance check those out because they tend to be active throughout the day and you can just stop by and say hi and will get many people responding back. Just a thought.

biminiblue

Alpine has suggested a couple ongoing active threads,

The 24 hour commitment thread:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-555-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 555)

and

"Whiners"
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ight-zone.html

I'd add, Weekenders, which starts new each week:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ne-2022-a.html (Sobriety-A Much Better Rush - Weekenders 17-20 June 2022)

and "Undies" (One year and under)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-71-a.html (One Year And Under Part 71)

sharkattack

My aim is to join in properly here on the forum. It's just that I'm all over the place at the moment. They say that on an airplane you have to put the oxygen mask over yourself before you put it on the child. I just want to get clear.

Alpine

Thanks Bimi!! I am not the best with sharing the threads.
Hope to see you soon Shark. Take care of yourself then hop on in!

Hevyn

Shark - I'm very similar to you, believe it or not. Drinking made things worse though - isolated me even more. Participating here felt strange back when I first started, & I honestly didn't see how a forum like this could help me. Yet here I am all these years later - visiting every day & enjoying being part of this unique community. Don't feel alone. I hope you'll keep posting, even with little to say. We get you.

sharkattack

BiminiBlue I'll look at them tomorrow. I'm getting a bit intoxicated now so I'll log off. Tomorrow, day 1. That's my aim.

nez

Just share your experience thus far in life, that is pretty much all anyone knows anyway. I have a lot of experience and know well the results, not so much knowledge on the how and whys of the results; still figuring that part out.

I drank. It didn't turn out well. I am now sober. It is turning out much better.

Tetrax

Are you a fan of BoJack Horseman by any chance? 'Cause I read all of that in BoJack's voice lol.