I just can’t do it
 

Yet another day 1. I’ve had hundreds. I get a week or two under my belt, start to feel good and then go back to drinking. Feeling pretty hopeless today, full of regret and anxiety. I just don’t know what to do, I’ve tried everything.

I like to think of myself as reasonably intelligent but what I’m doing is just so stupid. I feel so much better when I don’t drink, I have hope, my anxiety disappears etc so why do I keep going back to it. It just doesn’t make sense 🥲

Hi Hereigo,
. I truly believe that we all have it in ourselves to quit.
I think with most folks, the stars just have to align.
Probably the majority of us have thousands of day 1s.
But then one day it sticks!
You just have to keep the faith and not give up

Well, if you are struggling to do it on your own maybe some outside help would work.

How about rehab or AA meetings?

Try to get your head on the pillow sober tonight.

It's a delicious feeling.

Don't give up. I had lots of day one's. I don't know when I started, but I keep a calendar. I would string together 5 or 6 days, and relapse. I did this often. Then I made it 30 days! And of course relapsed. But I kept trying. You should too. There are tons of people that never thought they could quit, but did. Don't give up! You can do it. I am closing in on 4 years and it does get better. What worked? Well, for me one on one counseling was a huge help. If you don't want to do AA, then find an addiction counselor. And substitute something positive, like exercise, instead of drinking. Best wishes on your recovery.

I'm not sure what that has to do with recovery. You aren't going to think yourself sober. In fact, thinking is often part of the problem as you "think" drinking will be okay.

You said in a previous post that, "One part of my recovery plan is to post and share on this forum as much as possible." What is the other part of your recovery plan?

As far as the part of the plan about posting to the forum, try doing before you drink from a position of determination rather than afterwards from a position of regret.

My life was all about drinking. I kept going back to drinking because I changed nothing else about my life.

I was reluctant to change anything much, for a good number of years.
Every time I stayed sober awhile I thought that meant I could be a normal drinker.

I wanted to drink and not have the bad stuff happen.

When I finally saw that was impossible, Change began :)

D

I have had several day 1s too and each time I thought to myself "how stupid am I"? I had to completely change my mindset because for me what I was doing was not working for me in terms of becoming sober. I kept doing the same thing and ending up at square one. You CAN do this, you just have to find what works for you. For me it is coming here often to read and post. I wish you the very best.

I cant even count all the day 1's I have had. Getting sober is hard hard work.

I think I am an intelligent person and make good decisions. The one thing I didn't understand was why I continually kept drinking despite it all. I still dont fully understand it and I dont think I ever will. Its complex. So, rather then trying to understand the why of it, I just started to live in the solution. Its hard work but its really rewarding hard work.

You can get sober and live in recovery. Believe in yourself. You got this!

Everyone I went into violent withdrawals after the Valium they gave me at hospital wore off.

I called my insurance guy and he will switch my insurance and get me into a relatively decent detox about three hours from me at the first of the month..

I don't know if I can make it.

My only other option is to call 911 again and they will Baker Act me.

HereIgoagain, it sounds like you are able to stop drinking for short periods and that's a good thing. But, keep in mind that stopping drinking is the first step. Staying stopped is when the hard work comes into play. I needed to make lifestyle changes to support my recovery. Can you think of things that would help you to stay sober long-term?

Hi Anna,

I think I need professional detox. The only problem with that is they use benzos to detox you from alcohol.

Hereigo - I did the same thing, but I finally became so disgusted with myself, & the way my life was being sabotaged, that I got free. I could no longer pretend alcohol was a comforting friend - or that it was enhancing my life in any way. It only brought pain & misery in the end. It took me a while - but I have 14 yrs. now. So I know you can do this. Never give up on yourself - we certainly won't. :hug:

My name is Magnolia123 you guys

You're posting in Hereigoagain's thread, Magnolia.

Do you have two different accounts/usernames?

I had many day 1's before I quit. Finally I got tired of it and did quit. You can do this.

No something is apparently wrong with the site.

I don't know who that user is

Magnolia, try logging out and then log back in. Click the Remember Me box, and clear your cookies, if you can.

How are you doing HereIgo?

Day 1 coming to an end thankfully. Not felt good today after yesterday’s all day binge. Watching YouTube videos tonight on giving up. Thanks all for the support
:thanks

well done on your day 1 Hereigoagain. Good idea to end it with videos about giving up 👍