A new day
 

Well, I blew it a couple days ago.
I listened to the voice that said" look at you, just sitting around staring at the trees. You're kinda bored, wine will make it better."
. Of course I knew better, but listened.
And it made nothing change, I still stared at the trees until I drank to blackout.
Felt like crap the next day.
I guess now with my various periods of sobriety I was in tune with the contrast.
I chose getting back on the sobriety 🐎.
It's only a couple of days again, but I choose this and will keep working on it.

I could not stay sober till I fully committed to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.

That voice is not the voice of reason. It is the voice of addiction. You are aware of this. That's the power of addiction. I have sometimes wondered why addiction even needs a voice at all. With most people, it has the power to get what it wants even without the lies and propaganda.

I'm my worst enemy at times.
I'm retired, my kids are grown, I live by myself.
I just don't have to be accountable to anyone.
I know that's a weak excuse and I need to be accountable to myself.

Zenith - What counts is that you're admitting what happened & are trying again. You learned something valuable.

I know 2 people who were sober for many years. When they retired they thought they'd give being a social drinker another try. (Surely they wouldn't get carried away again?!) Those people were both humbled by how fast they were brought to their knees once again. Not having to get up early to get to work & be productive was a little too much freedom for them I guess. They both made it back to safety - but it took a toll.

You'll be ok, Z. You know better now.

This is me. It took a while before I was finally able to make it stick. Keep trying.

Maybe you can add something to your recovery program to keep you in recovery and to help you avoid listening to the AV.