Sobriety-A Much Better Rush - Weekenders 17-20 June 2022
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,665
Sobriety-A Much Better Rush - Weekenders 17-20 June 2022
Sobriety-A Much Better Rush - Weekenders 17-20 June 2022
You may feel the words seem familiar this week’s opening post. You may think you’ve read them before. You would be correct.
I’ve borrowed a post from our dear Gilmer, who has since sadly passed, over 3 years ago.
Her words of wisdom live on.
Often when we first get sober we have no idea what to do with ourselves. We’ve built our lives around chasing a buzz, getting that out-of-the-ordinary surge of great pleasure that leaves the dull reality of our lives in the dust.
At first chasing a chemical rush seems like a no-brainer: to a humdrum existence we can add great thrills just from drinking or smoking—that is, till we throw away our lives or ruin our health.
And often the chemicals just stop working.
So we find ourselves in a desperate mess and decide to get sober.
But we have no idea how else to fill our time; people suggest finding hobbies or volunteering, but those things seem overwhelming and lackluster compared to the effortless chemical highs we used to get with the snap of a finger.
In this case, act and the feelings will follow—“fake it till you make it.”
Pick something—anything—and plunge into it with everything you’ve got. Don’t worry that you have no real talent, or it seems forced. So often we know full well that we’ll never be truly superb at things, so we don’t bother even to learn about them.
If we can’t be perfect, we don’t want anything to do with it.
So we’re left with the despair of believing everything sucks, and we suck.
But often the best is the enemy of the genuinely good.
Just because you’ll never sing in the Metropolitan Opera does not mean you have to avoid music!
At least take the time to learn about something new. Pick an interest and invest your energy in it. “All hard work yields a profit:” in time and with perseverance you will see yourself improve.
And the more of yourself you invest, the more you will begin to care. With consistent effort you will see real progress—and it will please you. Your interest will become more and more genuine. It will become your treasure—“and where your treasure is, there your heart is, also.”
Furthermore, when you love something, you impart real beauty to it. Even though it may not be the Metropolitan Opera, you will have participated in true beauty. The beauty comes from you.
When you recognize that beauty, that’s when an interest becomes a passion. You will want to give it your all.
When have invested your very best, given your all, and seen It through to completion, you will experience a deep, exhilarating rush that puts a chemical rush to shame!
The physical and mental intensity of the chemical rush is far outweighed by the profound mental and emotional rush of your own creation of beauty and excellence.
With a chemical rush, your consciousness checks out and lets a substance take over—but the rush from natural endorphins and adrenaline engages every fiber of your being.
So go about learning to make beauty! Nothing will be more worth your effort!
You may feel the words seem familiar this week’s opening post. You may think you’ve read them before. You would be correct.
I’ve borrowed a post from our dear Gilmer, who has since sadly passed, over 3 years ago.
Her words of wisdom live on.
Often when we first get sober we have no idea what to do with ourselves. We’ve built our lives around chasing a buzz, getting that out-of-the-ordinary surge of great pleasure that leaves the dull reality of our lives in the dust.
At first chasing a chemical rush seems like a no-brainer: to a humdrum existence we can add great thrills just from drinking or smoking—that is, till we throw away our lives or ruin our health.
And often the chemicals just stop working.
So we find ourselves in a desperate mess and decide to get sober.
But we have no idea how else to fill our time; people suggest finding hobbies or volunteering, but those things seem overwhelming and lackluster compared to the effortless chemical highs we used to get with the snap of a finger.
In this case, act and the feelings will follow—“fake it till you make it.”
Pick something—anything—and plunge into it with everything you’ve got. Don’t worry that you have no real talent, or it seems forced. So often we know full well that we’ll never be truly superb at things, so we don’t bother even to learn about them.
If we can’t be perfect, we don’t want anything to do with it.
So we’re left with the despair of believing everything sucks, and we suck.
But often the best is the enemy of the genuinely good.
Just because you’ll never sing in the Metropolitan Opera does not mean you have to avoid music!
At least take the time to learn about something new. Pick an interest and invest your energy in it. “All hard work yields a profit:” in time and with perseverance you will see yourself improve.
And the more of yourself you invest, the more you will begin to care. With consistent effort you will see real progress—and it will please you. Your interest will become more and more genuine. It will become your treasure—“and where your treasure is, there your heart is, also.”
Furthermore, when you love something, you impart real beauty to it. Even though it may not be the Metropolitan Opera, you will have participated in true beauty. The beauty comes from you.
When you recognize that beauty, that’s when an interest becomes a passion. You will want to give it your all.
When have invested your very best, given your all, and seen It through to completion, you will experience a deep, exhilarating rush that puts a chemical rush to shame!
The physical and mental intensity of the chemical rush is far outweighed by the profound mental and emotional rush of your own creation of beauty and excellence.
With a chemical rush, your consciousness checks out and lets a substance take over—but the rush from natural endorphins and adrenaline engages every fiber of your being.
So go about learning to make beauty! Nothing will be more worth your effort!
, I’m back at the hospital this morning, I think to have the staples out. Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Morning Weekenders. Thanks Mags for posting Gilmer’s message, I haven’t read it before.
We have a public holiday today, which means that almost everyone has put in leave for tomorrow, to have a long weekend.
Seeing the record temperatures in the northern hemisphere once again tells me that global climate change is for real. Just last night we had a thunderstorm virtually in the middle of winter, which is most unusual.
We have a public holiday today, which means that almost everyone has put in leave for tomorrow, to have a long weekend.
Seeing the record temperatures in the northern hemisphere once again tells me that global climate change is for real. Just last night we had a thunderstorm virtually in the middle of winter, which is most unusual.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,759
Thanks for the thread Mags, and the message. Made me think of bits of the journey I've been on whilst developing my interests. I had these things that I always wanted to do "One day" , but drinking was the priority.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
How cold does it get there Captain? I didn't realise you guys got cold like that....I guess I always assumed your winters were similar to Aus, which is dumb of me. 
So........we have a birthday on Sunday.....Ms Marty....shall we have a party? ❤️❤️
So........we have a birthday on Sunday.....Ms Marty....shall we have a party?
❤️❤️
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I'm IN!
This line in the OP struck me:
But often the best is the enemy of the genuinely good.
I'm guilty of being afraid to do new things, fearing that I won't be "good at it." By that I really mean, I won't be able to MASTER whatever it is. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and also I didn't have a lot of faith in myself. It really holds me back sometimes.
I was the same way with sobriety. I knew it was going to be a challenge -- something new that I was afraid of failing at. It held me back for along time, until I got desperate, and figured I had no choice but to try. Sure, I had made efforts to cut down on my drinking, many of them. But I had never committed to quitting completely. I did what I always do: I made a plan, I gathered my resources, and worked hard at it. So far, so good. Being able to remain sober has taught me something about myself: I CAN do really hard things. Has it been "perfect?" Of course not. Has it been "best?" No. But it's genuinely good, and that's enough. This whole past 7.5 years has me believing in trying new things, even if they seem very hard and I fear I won't be best at it. I'm learning to be fine with the effort, and satisfied that I tried. And in the process, things have mostly turned out pretty well, despite my fears. I wish I had learned this much earlier in life, but I'm happy I finally did learn it!
This line in the OP struck me:
But often the best is the enemy of the genuinely good.
I'm guilty of being afraid to do new things, fearing that I won't be "good at it." By that I really mean, I won't be able to MASTER whatever it is. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and also I didn't have a lot of faith in myself. It really holds me back sometimes.
I was the same way with sobriety. I knew it was going to be a challenge -- something new that I was afraid of failing at. It held me back for along time, until I got desperate, and figured I had no choice but to try. Sure, I had made efforts to cut down on my drinking, many of them. But I had never committed to quitting completely. I did what I always do: I made a plan, I gathered my resources, and worked hard at it. So far, so good. Being able to remain sober has taught me something about myself: I CAN do really hard things. Has it been "perfect?" Of course not. Has it been "best?" No. But it's genuinely good, and that's enough. This whole past 7.5 years has me believing in trying new things, even if they seem very hard and I fear I won't be best at it. I'm learning to be fine with the effort, and satisfied that I tried. And in the process, things have mostly turned out pretty well, despite my fears. I wish I had learned this much earlier in life, but I'm happy I finally did learn it!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,461
During my backcountry skiing days..which I hope to do again it got darn cold. One time my water bottle that was in my backpack that I was wearing had a layer of ice on the top of it. I would not think it would have frozen with all of the movement. Needless to say I could not drink any water. If memory serves me correctly I think it was about -15 degrees.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I am not a huge fan of my own birthdays, Mags! I'll be 59, and that seems pretty old to me. My man friend is taking me out for a fancy dinner on Saturday. Sunday is also Father's Day here, so it was hard to get a reservation at the steak house we both like. So Saturday at 4:30 pm will have to do! I'm fine with eating that early. We are going to an actual shopping mall before dinner, because it's near the restaurant and we both have things we need to look for. And that's pretty much the whole plan! My kids will remember but I'm not expecting presents (I have told them not to bother with gifts, but I do like a text or phone call).
💖💟☮💞
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,994
Hello Weekenders,
Mags, thanks as usual, for a thought provoking opening post and it is bittersweet to remember dear Gilmer.
I am in a very sad place at the moment. I am signing in for a sober weekend on day 8. I am finding it so difficult to get back to a place of sobriety after having 4 years without alcohol. I relapsed after incredible anxiety, and now, four and a bit years later, it is so hard to get back.
I do feel shame about having had numerous day 1s since coming back to SR in February. Everything in the OP resonated with me.
In my sober time, I found an incredible rush from acting, a pursuit I began after taking a theatre program. Things with my abuse of alcohol got worse after Covid shut everything down, and now I fear I have lost that interest and my confidence generally. I don't know how to get it back.
Mags, I hope your hand is coming along.
Mags, thanks as usual, for a thought provoking opening post and it is bittersweet to remember dear Gilmer.
I am in a very sad place at the moment. I am signing in for a sober weekend on day 8. I am finding it so difficult to get back to a place of sobriety after having 4 years without alcohol. I relapsed after incredible anxiety, and now, four and a bit years later, it is so hard to get back.
I do feel shame about having had numerous day 1s since coming back to SR in February. Everything in the OP resonated with me.
In my sober time, I found an incredible rush from acting, a pursuit I began after taking a theatre program. Things with my abuse of alcohol got worse after Covid shut everything down, and now I fear I have lost that interest and my confidence generally. I don't know how to get it back.
Mags, I hope your hand is coming along.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,199
In for another sober weekend!
Thanks for keeping Gilmer's name on the thread Mags!
Welcome to Weekenders ToughChoices!
Day 8 is good Leshar, just make sure you keep the days racking up and you can address other stuff after 6 months or so.
Happy Birthday this weekend Marty, this is from me (and Disco Stu) Sorry about the cheesy cover.
Thanks for keeping Gilmer's name on the thread Mags!
Welcome to Weekenders ToughChoices!
Day 8 is good Leshar, just make sure you keep the days racking up and you can address other stuff after 6 months or so.
Happy Birthday this weekend Marty, this is from me (and Disco Stu) Sorry about the cheesy cover.
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