Day one
 

Hi, everyone! It's been quite awhile since I've been on here. On February 8th of this year I was horribly hung over after a 4 day binge. On February 9th, I started going to AA and it worked for me for 115 days! Then last Thursday, I went to the casino and made the choice to drink. Like I always do, I woke up feeling horrible and drank more beers all day yesterday until I went to bed. I woke up a couple of times but did not drink. This morning I poured the remaining beers down the drain. I am going to a meeting at noon and getting back on track. I'm very sad that I drank again but I am grateful I have some support to pick myself back up. I was on vacation this last week and I skipped the meetings. It was a mistake. After 115 days sober, I forgot that these meetings were helping me stay sober. So here I am, back at day one. :(

Once the physical addiction went away the mental ramped up for about a year.

It still lingers to this day for me. The addiction says, go ahead, drink booze, who cares, f it.

But, the main person that cares is me. If I relapse I would let myself down. Then my wife, son, family, and job.

So, basically I suffer. Exercise is my main go to therapy to get "high." The high lasts much longer than booze.

Suffering and time.

I am a non drinker that was tricked into addiction. I didn't know any better.

Now I do.

The mental hell on earth subsided, even on day 1. There are strategies, like urge surfing, listed here and elsewhere.

Being sober is the best best best. Being a drunk is a nightmare.

That is all for now.

Thanks for the therapy.

Well done getting back, you can do this

Glad you came back. A meeting 2day sounds like a good idea. Pretty soon you will be racking up those sober days again. 😀

115 days, 4 months is a vulnerable time. Actually, it is from there on out. It's a good start, but there is something new now. You don't feel vulnerable, which makes you very vulnerable. So it's easy to take the drink, thinking that you are cured, or even when you know you are never cured, it feels like you're good enough at getting sober that you can "cheat" and get right back on track. You may this time too, which leads to feeling, "See, I can get right back on track," so now it's easier to do it again, and well,... you know where I'm going with this. Maybe you can get away with, but I will venture to say that the two days you spent boozing will take you longer to make up than two days to get back to where you were three days ago, even if you don't realize it.

Now after that lecture, I'm happy you're back, and I wish you all the best.

Hi Clarity! It's great that you came back. Sometimes we need further proof that we can't control it. Every time it's in my system it leads to disaster. I'm so glad we finally realize that. :) You can get free.

It's good you came back so quickly- be very aware that what DriGuy says is true, though. I've done the same and didn't come back for over a year. That year was easily the worst one of my life.

Do the work and don't drink, you can do it.

I’m glad that you’re back on track Clarity :)

D

I also have to Echo DriGuy's words. I did 4 months once, and relapsed. I felt that if I could get sober "so easily" (it really wasn't easy at all of course), then I could easily drink again and then quit again if I wasn't "cured". That was just under four years ago. I haven't made it to 4 months since. A relapse should not be under estimated. It isn't so simple as just getting back on the wagon, because when you reawaken the beast, the cravings are back in full force, and you can easily find that it takes a year just to be able to get back to even a week sober again. That said, just because it took me so long, it didn't mean it will for everyone and you can make this last your last relapse ever. I just went back to being a drinker and whilst I knew deep down I wanted and needed to quit drinking, I delayed it...I thought I could get away with being a drinker for a bit longer. Until of course the consequences started getting so bad that it got to the point where I wanted to quit more than I wanted to drink, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, drinking was bringing bad things to all elements of my life and to be honest, I didn't enjoy drinking anymore in al honesty, it made me feel ill.

I am now more determined than ever not to slip and make the same mistake again.

Good to see you made it back Clarity.

It's the only solution. Sobriety, that is.

I did the exact same thing, I had 4 months in then drank...sigh..I stopped on May 20th. You can do this

Thank you! Being sober for over 3 months was great! I had forgotten how bad it felt to be drunk. You said it right, it's a nightmare!

Thank you!! :)

Thank you, Stubbs! I've hopped right back in to meetings and am following the instructions of my sponsor. Today was good day. It was a sober day!

Glad you are back, glad you recognize it was a decision.

We control our arms, legs, hands, feet and mouths. WE do.

Thanks for posting, hope you stick around.

Thank you, Driguy! That very thing crossed my mind. Will I drink again...thinking I can just hop right back into sobriety and start again? I hope and pray I won't think that! I really like being sober but it is still new. I'm still trying to find out who I am now and how to deal with life without drinking for release. But I am grateful for today... that I am sober. :)

Hi, Hevyn! And thank you! Yes, this time was just like all the other times before it. Drinking has ceased to be fun for me. It's destructive and depressing! Today, I am free! And I am so grateful for the support system I have found in AA.

Thank you, Free2bme! :)

Hi, Alpine! I'm sorry you went through that but am so glad you stopped again! Thanks for your support! :)

Thank you, Steely! Sobriety is definitely all or nothing for me!