crazychef

Still on here every night reading. Had more sober days in the last 6 months than 25 years combined. Work is getting to me and broke today. Not bad, but drank today. In the out island Bahamas, have the owners on board and doing charters for basically a month strait. But it's a great job, got to take the owner fishing for a couple days this week in the middle of nowhere and had some great days. Crews tired and they started drinking wine with dinner. Had 10 oz wagyu filets last night, they know I don't drink but offered me a glass. Turned it down but it got to me. I cooked with white wine today and poured a glass. It's very hard because right outside my bedroom door there's about 10 random bottles of liquor in a bag under the table for crew sitting there. I never paid attention to it till today going to bed. There is a fully stocked bar a wine fridge, and 3 beer refrigerators on the boat. This is my life, my career, I can't outrun alcohol. It's always there but literally it's always there 5 ft away from me and in my hands on a daily basis to cook food. Made tirramisu today, needed kalula, Mahi picatta, needed white wine. There is no escape with my job, and still have my weak moments

Dee74

Sorry to hear you drank crazychef. I’ve known a few chefs a few wine tasters and a few bartenders here on SR. They either find a way to not drink, or they end up having to find another career cos they trash their reputation.

sorry to be so blunt but I figure you can take it.

Have you given any thought recently to something like AA or some other meeting based recovery method?
most of them had zoom meetings nowadays so you can join from anywhere in the world

Free2bme888

Sounds like an amazing life to be free from self loathing.

my hubby drinks, and all liquor is on top of fridge in open, and wine in sight daily under hearth.

my choice is not to drink. My thinking is I like not drinking.

you can be free amidst a world that drinks. It’s poison to us, our souls and bodies.

glad you came here today.

big hugs
🤓❤️

nez

When I was in rehab, my counselor was a former restaurant owner who knew I was a chef/owner. He strongly suggested I change professions if I wanted long term sobriety. I am stubborn and hard headed. I wasn't about to be run out of my profession and passion by alcohol, plus I wanted to be truly free and I didn't figure avoiding, hiding, or acting like alcohol no longer existed would get me to my goal. So when I left rehab, I returned to be a chef/owner once again, It may not have the wisest decision, but it was the right path for me and today I walk and cook as a free chef. Alcohol still exists...and so do I. We cross paths and even interact many times a day..but that is all... because I have no reason nor desire nor longing for anything further That boat sailed a long time ago. Seems like a lifetime ago. I love my freedom! I can't even begin to describe it!!! It is doable and can be yours as well. The choice is yours.

calmself

That's a big challenge, chef. I would have been unable to resist the temptation for long. Taking a few sips here and there while cooking, then drink more at the table since I have started anyway. I might be in the downward spiral if such stuff was all around me. Take care and think hard if it's worsening.

MarkstheSpot

My big thing is choice. I've chosen not to drink rather than it being imposed upon me. Nothing makes me want to drink more than my wife telling me I can't. It has to be my choice. For that reason, I like having booze around the place. I could have some if I wanted, but I choose not to.

fishkiller

Booze is Everywhere

We must make the choice to leave it alone. 5' or 5 miles away if we want it we will get it. We need to not want it.

Hodd

I’d 100% relapse in that environment, chef. My wife is a chef, and she’s never drunk alcohol, but she says some of the people she worked with in restaurants were seriously heavy drinkers after hours - and they very overweight too as a result. She ended up doing a less racy job at a private school - no wagyu steaks there, but the food was leagues about that of a state school. It wasn’t an easy job by any means, but she got her weekends and life back.

If you’re into that lifestyle, then the occasional drink will obviously be an occupational hazard. If the drinking gets out of line, it really is time to move into another type of job. Are there are jobs on rich Saudi types yachts or are these people drinkers like the rest of them?

Seems a good lifestyle for a non-drinker. My wife would love it for a year or so. But it’s something of a wasted opportunity for a drinker.

DriGuy

There are bartenders that are alcoholics. Occasionally there is one that doesn't drink, but still tends bar. I'm guessing most bartenders in recovery have given up the occupation as well as the sauce. It can be done, and if you like your job, I believe it's possible to not drink. Like Fishkiller says, alcohol is around all of us, often times within arms length. So a big part of recovery is learning to live in that environment. I avoided such places early on with a passion. Now I just avoid them because I don't enjoy it. I do love boats, big boats, and I could take a cruise now without drinking. I still envy you your job though. It's too bad you are an alcoholic, but then it's too bad any of us are.

crazychef

I just had to post to keep myself accountable. I'm still looking forward to being sober and have made the decision to not countiue on the same path. It's been crazy, fun, choatic, and sad. My mind and body want to be sober. I know I can do it, but it's hard if I get caught up (AV) in the wrong moment with alcohol in my hand cooking and think just one shot. Not making excuses, I could think of 1000 reasons to justify drinking but not one good one. Just post on here when I hit a speed bump, back on track now. This place is important for me to stay sober and keep my priorities in mind and being able to look back at posts, remember where my mind was and where I want it to be moving forward

VikingGF

Always glad to see you post, crazychef. It's good to hear your commitment, too.

Ladysadie

For me - I love the smell of fresh brewed coffee, but I don't like the taste of it. I used to enjoy wine and beer, but lost my taste for them as well. I just wish I didn't have the liking for vodka, but I do.

My daughter is staying with me for a while until her housing opens up. She went to the store the other day and brought home some orange juice and my (AV) said all I need is vodka. But while I still have these thoughts insert into my head, I have to say everything got better in my life when I quit alcohol. I no longer have to take my blood pressure meds, I sleep better, I remember things and I have a whole lot more $$. I'm really enjoying being sober. But it would be hard to have vodka in the house as I think it would be too much temptation for me.

Mizz

I think its great you shared here and are accountable. Sobriety is not linear. You are getting there.

The job you have sounds stressful. I think for some, it sounds like a dream job, and there are many benefits, but it also sounds very very hard and very demanding. Meeting the expectations of this and that. Being of service 24 hrs a day, on a boat, in the middle of an ocean. You and the crew.....Not able to leave or get away from one another for too long.

Then there is the beauty of it. Sailing all over the place. Seeing the world. Cooking really really good food. Meeting interesting people. Fishing in the middle of nowhere...... Eating steak (one of my favorite things to eat along with broccoli. Steak, broccoli, and butter for the broccoli. Just those three things. Its heaven!)

I share a wall with alcohol in my work. One side is a million bottles of wellness products (my side) and the other side is a million bottles of wine. Wine is everywhere in case stacks, floating around in baskets, employees smell of wine or beer or smell of a hangover. People ask me about wine all the time. I get it. Its everywhere. I'm just one of the many that has been highly irresponsible with the stuff, and cannot function properly when its in my life. So, I evicted the wine. I hardly think about it. At moments, it comes into my thoughts......Like your moment today. Im afraid If I surrendered to those thoughts that I would never make it back out....So, I just watch the thought and move forward.
It just got to you. I understand. You'll make a different decision next time.

We are here for you, Crazy Chef.

I hope todays sunset is AMAZING! Take it all in. Tomorrow you will not be defeated. You are not even defeated today. You got this!

Breathing room and a good nights sleep does wonders for our minds and spirit!

calmself

It's definitely a dream job, chef. Exotic places, luxury yachts, gourmet meals, traveling to beautiful places and watch sunsets by the beach. Always had this question-Do the crew get different menu from the guests? Also, walk us thru a day at sea. Thanks!

Radix

This is just me, but I knew that if I were going to be sober, I had to do it without creating an alcohol-free bubble that moved with me everywhere. I know this may be controversial, and certainly isn't everyone's best method to sobriety. But for me, I didn't throw out the alcohol in the home (it's still there, for others, if they ever want it).

My reasoning was that if I couldn't stay sober except in an alcohol-free bubble, then I wasn't exercising the muscles that would keep me from drinking.

But I did commit to not drinking, and I've stuck to that, for almost a year now. I'm not tempted, and it's not hard anymore. I'm too content being sober. I use all the usual tools: playing the tape forwards, challenging the feelings sent to me by my AV, using healthy distractions, and concentrating on my values and my best self.

All the old liquor bottles have about a year's worth of dust on them now. With no fingerprints in the dust.

crazychef

To answer your question, it depends on the yacht and the owner. On the bigger yachts I've worked on like a 50 meter with 9 or 10 crew the crew gets feed differently than the guests. But still fresh high quality food. On the smaller boats like the one I'm on now 115 feet, 5 crew. The crew eats what the guests eat and this boat the crew is spoiled. Wagyu meat, fresh fish, stone crab, lobster, ect. Caught some tuna, wahoo and Mahi this week so they are eating sushi and sashimi 🍣. A day at sea as a yacht chef changes all the time. The only thing I know is that when guests are on I'm working 14 to 17hr days. Sometimes weeks in a row. I'm a fishing guide to so when the owner is here I'm up at 5 am making To go breakfast sandwiches, fish till noon, depending???#, clean fish, make lunch, clean up, finish cleaning fish, make hors d'oeuvres, have a 3 course dinner ready at 8 pm, clean up. And repeat, some days no fishing, some days are easy, got a storm coming tomorrow so they are renting a car to explore the island. But everything always changes, I made everybody proper italian subs to take with them today to eat while they were out on the tender(34 ft regulator)snorkeling and fishing. They came back at 4 and gave me all the sandwiches back untouched. Found a beach bar to swim to and ate there. This is a normal day for me because nothing is ever normal for a yacht chef. Just have to go with the flow, but have cool owners and are hitting up places most yachts don't go in the Bahamas which is what I like. The more remote the better for me, need to be sober to fish, dive, spearfish, and kiteboard and keep the guests safe

calmself

Very interesting to know this info first hand. Thanks! Stay away from the booze and enjoy the interesting life, chef!

Mummyto2

Hi, i take it you are a chef, i was watching Gordon Ramsey recently and he met up with another chef who stopped drinking years ago, they both said how many people who are chefs turn to drink because how stressful the job is, i will stop rambling now but good luck

DriGuy

That's what I liked, quiet anchors with peace and quiet over excitement. We sailed with friends who wanted to stop at all the busy places with the best restaurants every night, but once a month was good enough for me. I actually enjoyed it then, but the rest of time was looking for solitude. Everyone is different.