Magnolia123

On top of everything else I'm going through, I am fielding put downs and jabs from family members.

I'm already depressed and hurting.

Any advice and support would be appreciated.

biminiblue

Do you live with them?

Magnolia123

No but everything I've read said support is important and in the condition I'm in its very hurtful and causes me to despair.

I feel like there's no IRL support.

I have this place.

But the sparky remarks and abandonment from family hurts. A lot.

Nonsensical

Early days are hard on everyone, Magnolia. Take care of yourself and keep your eyes on the prize. It's all you can do!

nez

Their putdowns and jabs speak volumes about them more than it does about you. You, and only you, determine your self worth. Do actions and live in a manner that you respect.

Anna

It sounds like it might be a good idea to distance yourself from family members who are purposely hurtful to you, at least for awhile.

Have you considered AA for real-life support? I didn't use AA and I didn't have any real-life support in my recovery. But, I wanted to recover very badly and then, I found SR.

sugarbear1

You'll get the best support from those of us who are suffering from alcoholism. People who don't fully understand won't or aren't able to give us support sometimes. It took me many years to get that day one. Today it's over 11 years of sobriety.

Colin1

This ^^^ is exactly what I was thinking Magnolia. Very well said Nez

I also didn't have any IRL support when I quit. I used online resources only and a lot. In a few days I'll be six months sober. So far, so good.

But that's me and we are not all the same. Nevertheless, it's working for at least Anna and me so it can be done. Anna said she wanted to recover very badly and so did I. I have the feeling this is one of the keys to success with this. In the end we can only control what we can and one thing we have control over is ourselves. From Nezs' post:

"What you think, you become.
What you feel, you attract.
What you imagine, you create,
- Buddha"

No-one can make you feel depressed or hurt unless you let them. Do what you need to to help yourself heal. Control what you can. I know it's easier said than done, but for me at least this made my life better.

VikingGF

You'll get a lot of support here. I didn't use much IRL support at all in the beginning- kind of my choice, kind of happened- people who aren't in it can be harsh and judgmental or too forgiving- don't worry, you can get so much of what you need here. Tune out the rest for now. You don't have a place for that- focus on yourself and don't drink.

Free2bme888

Ditto Nez and the others here.

I had to let go of my siblings and my son. It’s painful but freeing.

My family of choice, SR, is very supportive. Finding support is paramount, online or in person (beg to differ, but we on SR, are IRL). Just as effective is figuring out what isn’t conducive to our health, things, places, people, and substances.

Lose what is hurting you physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

glad you posted

fishkiller

My family does not directly put me down but they are very toxic and negative. It hurts but I have distanced myself from them. I make the obligatory call now and then but if the conversation goes south I end it. They rarely reach out to me and that is fine.

I am responsible for my feelings. No one else can control them.

You are still in early days. Be kind to yourself and to hell with anyone who isn't the same to you.

Stick around here. SR is full of positive caring folks.

Mummyto2

If i have learnt anything in life, dont let anyone family or not treat you horribly, walk away from anyone that does that ok