Icandothis2013

Should have said ‘friends who drink normally’. Anyhow, I appreciate the advice, though sometimes not the tone (not you dear Steely). Moving on …

vxper

I think this question might be a little wrong but I get it as I used to ask myself this too. The truth for me at least was that hanging out with people in an environment where the activity is drinking isn't normal life anymore and I still don't do that 3.5 years in. Bars, holiday parties with kegs or multiple bottles just sitting out, BBQs with the same; I just don't have time or patience for that anymore. Go see your non drinking friends if traveling and hanging with them seems ok for you. If you want to hang with drinking friends, do something where drinking isn't involved or is the smallest part of the activity (i.e. one drink with dinner or something).

If you do go be sure to:
1) Practice and have your answer ready if offered a drink.
2) Have an escape route planned.
3) Use your escape route if you feel even the least bit uncomfortable.

EDIT: Posting before reading all the replies. I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. I'll tell a similar story. I went to a friends bachelor's weekend about 90ish days in to my sobriety and posted about it here with pretty much the same responses. The weekend wasn't going to focus on drinking though drinks were occasionally present; We went axe throwing, mini-golfing, visited a big arcade and played board games both nights (we were all nerdy friends from college). I still went, but what I took away from the responses to my similar question was that I did have to take precautions and be vigilant the entire time. The steps listed above were suggested to me and I took them to heart.

1) I practiced my answer and even used it once:
"Hey man, you want a beer?"
"No thanks, I don't drink anymore."
"Why?"
"I've realized I have a problem with it and it's just better for me not to."
"Oh, I didn't know, good for you!"

2) I had a family member who lived nearby who knew about my addiction and I asked her if I could call and come stay with her if I needed to even if it was 3am which she agreed to happily.

3) I didn't end up needing it but I felt really good that I had this available to me ahead of time.

Your sobriety is what is most important and in the end you know what you can handle as long as you take it seriously. Good luck whatever you decide!

Icandothis2013

Thanks for that thoughtful reply vxper !

Dee74

you asked for opinions and you got them ICDT.
Fishkillers observation is so insightful, I’d pay for advice like that.

You can do whatever you want but I think the advice here has been superb, even if it’s not what you wanted to hear.

At the risk of sounding patronising…there have been other threads where you got advice you didn’t want to hear -remember how later proved the advice was sound?

Recoverys sometimes about hard choices.
Don’t move on, just yet…Really think this one out before you make a decision.

D

Icandothis2013

Thanks Dee. Good advice from you too ! I may just decide not to go at all !

fishkiller

I apologize if the way I wrote what I wrote upset you. I am not the gentlest communicator. Sometimes it takes getting upset to make the changes we need to take though.
I cannot apologize for what I wrote. At 53 days I was preoccupied with alcohol, drinking, not drinking, gotta plan for this plan for that, etc. So my idea of normal came when I realized I had gone a day or more without giving alcohol a thought. Now I would not give a second thought about vacationing with friends who may be drinking. that is a normal life to me.

In my case that took about a year to realize.

Please don't let my response keep you from posting these questions. You absolutely did the right thing posting your concerns. That is how it's done.

Icandothis2013

Thank you FK. I was upset. But you know what? You’re absolutely right ! :-) Sorry if I overreacted and keep that advice coming please ! !

fishkiller

I find a lot of things that upset me are things I don't want to see.
Truths

Still working on that.

You are doing well now and I have been quietly following your journey for a while.
I felt the need to post yesterday knowing it would be taken to heart and probably not go over the best.

You have recieved gentle hands for the most part and still struggle so I thought it was worth a shot knowing I don't post the gentlest words at times.
But I do post the Truth as I know it.

Sometimes we need it thrown in our faces and not handed to us on a platter.

You are not the first to point out my posts as harsh and you won't be the last but know that I post because I care and want to see you and everyone else succeed. If I feel my words may help then I post.

I am not always right but who is?

One thing that helped me when I first came here was to keep an open mind and try to process every piece of info provided. Whether I thought it was helpful at the time or not. I still find I am using things I thought did not apply to me at first.

Doing it Our way got us where we are now.
Time for a new way, new ideas, new mentality.

Sorry I upset you but you took note of my words so it was worth it.