Tailai

We know what we used to do when we were drinking. Drink of course. Had a good day? Drink. Had a bad day? Drink. So how to manage the stress more productively? The substitute to the drinking response for me is cigars. I know, not especially productive but better than drinking, yes? I like espresso too. But what really helped me was managing negativity, specifically negative self talk. After an unpleasant experience - small, medium, or large - I learned to evaluate my thinking about said event. Firstly, was it based on logic or misinformation? Once established that my take on the unpleasantness was rational, was I being too negative? Was I “filtering” out all the good and focusing on the bad? There are other categories of negative self talk and there’s an article from the Mayo Clinic that goes into all of it and how to manage the stress of negative thinking. It takes practice but I find it very helpful to think more positively and to stay sober.

Dee74

I do any one (or a mix) of the following

• exercise - walking or stationary bike
• listening to or playing music
• reading a good book
• watching a beloved TV show
• doing menial tasks
• breathing exercises - that and other good ideas here

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...disorders.html (Coping with anxiety and panic disorders)
and here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...44-stress.html (Stress)
D

RunningScared

It's amazing how much doing menial tasks relieves stress for me.

D122y

The internet is such a powerful tool. It is like having a team of genius problem solvers etc. at my finger tips.

Taken in context, the www has saved my good life as I know it, and I am working (through the www) to take my life to higher levels.

SR tips led the way for me and then I ran so far now.

Folks say to me, D122y I feel bad when I drink around you because I know you used to drink alot. I tell them, drink up. If you want to drink 1 or 100, do it.

As long as you don't harm me, e.g. try to beat me up when drunk etc, if you want to drink. Do it.

I don't tell them that they are suffering from booze induced brain damage that compels them to drink. That doesn't really help take the party to a higher level. lol!

I cope like a non drinker. I obsess and then come up with a solution I can control. I try to take the blame, that way I don't lose control of the solution.

Us ex drinkers love to obsess over drinking. Pretty much sums up recovery forums and f2f interaction. By any means!

I still crave all the time, but I don't drink anymore. I hate the stuff.

Thanks for the therapy.

Cityboy

There will always be negativity, but it must be managed or there is very little chance of remaining sober. I've learned to recognize and avoid a lot of the negativity from outside sources like bad customers, crappy network media, and certain acquaintances. The inside negativity from family and close friends, or from myself, is more difficult.

ShadowChick

I have found so many ways to combat stress and also anxiety without alcohol.

Exercise - Have got a little mini gym in my spare room, all that money saved has bought me a bike, treadmill, yoga ball and weights!

Reading and writing reviews. - I read a book then post a review on my blog, its so much fun! I have always have my head in a book these days!

Meditation - once a day sometimes more depending on how I feel.

Gaming - Have always been a game, so when I stopped drinking I got right back to it and caught up on all the games I had missed over the years.

The key really is to remember that you need to look after yourself, if others want to be negative then you don't have to take any notice.

fishkiller

The key really is to remember that you need to look after yourself, if others want to be negative then you don't have to take any notice.[/QUOTE]

Yes!

I find myself simply just walking away from some conversations these days. Most times no excusing myself or reasoning I just find an exit and take it.
Those close to me are slowly figuring it out. I can see the look when they try to start one of those conversations with me. Oh yeah, he probably doesn't want to hear it. Then it quickly fades to another topic.
My sanity is more important than their opinions/ feelings on some topic.

Bonnefond87

All of the above - especially movement - preferably outside. I find games like Solitaire, Wordament, Card Clash, etc, which require you to sit still and focus solely on them, very helpful when I'm anxious or stressed.

fishkiller

This too!

I always push myself and strive to improve and learn new things. This of course is kind of stressful and add life to it then it can become overwhelming ai times.
I will take a day, or a few, every now and then and just do menial, physically stressful tasks to work out the anxiety.
Works every time.

MLD51

Yes, I have found this, too. Doing the dishes, vacuuming, mowing the lawn, folding laundry... all that sort of stuff. It keeps my hands busy, keeps me moving physically to varying degrees, requires enough concentration to help push other thoughts to the side a bit, and there's a little sense of accomplishment at the end. Plus, all of those things help keep my living space tidier and more orderly. I always find that a neat and orderly "space" to exist in is calming in and of itself.

If I need a stronger stress relief, I'll go for a brisk walk for at least 20 minutes. Works wonders.

DriGuy

It's not so much what I do when I feel stress. It's more about what I don't do. First, I know that stress is temporary and often resolves itself without me worrying about it or stepping in and making it worse. Much of the time, I just observe the stress, kind of like from the outside. But sometimes, there is some action on my part (the things I actually do). I remain calm and think about my response. Often, I conclude not to respond. Sometimes I do respond, but only after some calm thought. I don't worry excessively, because I've found that even a bad outcome is never as bad as the stress itself.

suki44883

I play with my dog or take him for a walk around the duck pond at the park. Dogs are great at relieving stress because their love is so pure and they think we're the greatest people ever.

vxper

In my early days of sobriety I found the alone time almost unbearable and all the things I used to do to relax at home impossible for me to face now without including alcohol (music, reading, watching movies, playing video games etc). Instead I found I had to stay busy, set constructive goals for myself and achieve them. I would say things like "I want to loose 5 pounds this month" and work on that or "It would be nice to pay down this credit card" and I would work gig jobs after my real job (GrubHub, uber etc) or "I would love to learn more about smoking/grilling" and read about tools, techniques and styles while planning my next cookout for friends and family. All of this helped to fill in the time and also make me feel good about myself in spite of any stress I may have had.

Then I bought a house and busied myself with the excitement of owning and improving a property: taking care of a lawn and garden, making repairs, remodeling rooms.

Then I got a dog, which helped me never be alone and I could enjoy exercising with or just something to be excited to see me every evening. It made the stress I may have had on the drive home secondary to this animal that depended on me and loved my unconditionally.

Slowly I found that I could ease back in to the things I used to enjoy without thinking about drinking so much and eventually not at all. Then I was blessed with my first child about 8 months ago and I've recently stepped back and looked around at my house, my dog and my child and just simply allow myself to feel fulfilled and grateful and any outside stress doesn't seem so bad anymore.

Tailai

vxper, that is . . . awesome!