Have no life
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 103
Have no life
My life has consisted of locking myself in my house drinking.
I'm not drinking today but just sitting here kind of catatonic.
Place is a mess. Dealing with memories and feeling like a low life.
The mental obsession to drink is so strong even though I don't want to.
Feel like I have no self esteem and just want to stay in bed.
I'm not drinking today but just sitting here kind of catatonic.
Place is a mess. Dealing with memories and feeling like a low life.
The mental obsession to drink is so strong even though I don't want to.
Feel like I have no self esteem and just want to stay in bed.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Lila, I'm glad you're not drinking today. That's a good first step. Even if you feel unmotivated, I think you will feel better if you do something. If your place is a mess, you could pick one area to tidy and clean. And, go for a walk if you can. I think taking some kind of action will help you today. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
It is very positive you aren’t drinking, and I also agree with Anna that you need to take some kind of positive action to get yourself on a more upward spiral.
Preparing and eating food, a small tidying project, a shower and clean clothes—these are the things most of us had to do to get out of the depressive hole of drinking and feeling a little better.
Preparing and eating food, a small tidying project, a shower and clean clothes—these are the things most of us had to do to get out of the depressive hole of drinking and feeling a little better.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Lila-
There is a saying "Fake it until you make it"
There is so much beauty in this life. So much to be grateful for. So much.
Once again, if you have not spoken with a doctor or a mental health professional, it might be a REALLY good idea to take some action there. Take some action. You are the only one who can change your life, your mind, your health, your drinking. You are more powerful than you think. Not drinking today is WONDERFUL. I wish you the best of health mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It all starts with action and forward motion. You can do this. Believe in yourself.
There is a saying "Fake it until you make it"
There is so much beauty in this life. So much to be grateful for. So much.
Once again, if you have not spoken with a doctor or a mental health professional, it might be a REALLY good idea to take some action there. Take some action. You are the only one who can change your life, your mind, your health, your drinking. You are more powerful than you think. Not drinking today is WONDERFUL. I wish you the best of health mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It all starts with action and forward motion. You can do this. Believe in yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I'm so glad you're not drinking, Lila. I know how hard it is at the beginning. Anna makes a great suggestion to just do one little thing or two - a short walk, the dishes, take a shower.. things like that.
I will repeat that it is not good to dwell on bad memories, especially when we are trying to stay sober - they will just bring you down. Focus instead on what a good life you can have, the things you want to do, places you want to see. Make a list of those things - I do it a lot and it makes me feel better.
I will repeat that it is not good to dwell on bad memories, especially when we are trying to stay sober - they will just bring you down. Focus instead on what a good life you can have, the things you want to do, places you want to see. Make a list of those things - I do it a lot and it makes me feel better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I'm sober today, but have been under the weather all
week just waiting for whatever is ailing me to hit the
road.
It's no fun being sick.
And there are many out there in the world sick.
Some sick with cancers, going thru chemo, a long process
to help rid of it that eats away at their bodies. What is so inspiring
about many of them, is hearing their stories. Stories of the will
they have to want to live. To fight those grueling treatments for
whatever lengths of time needed to get healthy and well again.
Addiction recovery so similar. So many have fought to win their
lives back. To fight and learn ways to live a sober life they all
so desperately want.
How much do you want to fight to win and live for yourself.
Sucess with continued sobriety is achievable.
week just waiting for whatever is ailing me to hit the
road.
It's no fun being sick.
And there are many out there in the world sick.
Some sick with cancers, going thru chemo, a long process
to help rid of it that eats away at their bodies. What is so inspiring
about many of them, is hearing their stories. Stories of the will
they have to want to live. To fight those grueling treatments for
whatever lengths of time needed to get healthy and well again.
Addiction recovery so similar. So many have fought to win their
lives back. To fight and learn ways to live a sober life they all
so desperately want.
How much do you want to fight to win and live for yourself.
Sucess with continued sobriety is achievable.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 980
I understand where you are at! Can you bite it off a chunk at a time - maybe pick one room or one task to focus on? Turn on some tunes and move. Just the movement alone will help you feel a little better, the sense of accomplishing something will help too. Maybe set a timer that you will do something for 1/2 hour, an hour or whatever. So many of us have been where you are. Right where you're at. Just start with some baby steps. HTH
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Peace will come in time with sober thinking and acting (living).
Why not grab a pencil and pad of paper and write down what kind of life you'd like to have; then create small goals on how to obtain that life. With sobriety, all things are possible. Eventually you will stop fighting alcohol (etc.) and surrender to the fact that you can't drink or use safely and that using drugs or drinking WILL kill you.
Stay strong today!!!
Why not grab a pencil and pad of paper and write down what kind of life you'd like to have; then create small goals on how to obtain that life. With sobriety, all things are possible. Eventually you will stop fighting alcohol (etc.) and surrender to the fact that you can't drink or use safely and that using drugs or drinking WILL kill you.
Stay strong today!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 65
I have not been too active on the board, but something about your posts over the last day or so spoke to me. I have been there too, in the depths of despair. Feeling as though I have wasted ten years of staying drunk or hungover or picking up the pieces from the verbal wreckage I made out of my relationship. Wondering what's the point of sobering up now as I approach forty.
All I can say is to try to put one foot in front of the other. And reach out to someone if at all possible. If reaching out is not possible right now then try to take care of yourself. Small baby steps. And yes, you are worth it. Try some self care, a cup of tea, some aromatherapy oils in a diffuser. Lavender is incredibly soothing and is my "go to" when I am feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and the dark thoughts and temptation try to creep in.
Try not to think too much on the past and perhaps get outside for a little bit. Even if the sun isn't shining where you are, being in nature, breathing in the fresh air, and trying to focus on what you hear, see, and feel while you're outside can help your mindset a little bit.
I am just starting with a few weeks of sobriety, and I have been where you are before too many times to count. For the first few days of my sobriety I had to literally force myself outside, to tend to my own needs and put myself first for once. It gets better with time, although it may seem insurmountable now. You are not alone, keep reaching out. Everyone on this board understands what you are going through and have been there at some point. Try not to think too far ahead, and focus on the next few minutes, hours, today. Take care of yourself Lila. We are here for you.
All I can say is to try to put one foot in front of the other. And reach out to someone if at all possible. If reaching out is not possible right now then try to take care of yourself. Small baby steps. And yes, you are worth it. Try some self care, a cup of tea, some aromatherapy oils in a diffuser. Lavender is incredibly soothing and is my "go to" when I am feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and the dark thoughts and temptation try to creep in.
Try not to think too much on the past and perhaps get outside for a little bit. Even if the sun isn't shining where you are, being in nature, breathing in the fresh air, and trying to focus on what you hear, see, and feel while you're outside can help your mindset a little bit.
I am just starting with a few weeks of sobriety, and I have been where you are before too many times to count. For the first few days of my sobriety I had to literally force myself outside, to tend to my own needs and put myself first for once. It gets better with time, although it may seem insurmountable now. You are not alone, keep reaching out. Everyone on this board understands what you are going through and have been there at some point. Try not to think too far ahead, and focus on the next few minutes, hours, today. Take care of yourself Lila. We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
Originally Posted by Lila12 
I'm so tired of not having any peace
You deserve far better, but Lila, if you don’t take action, things simply won’t change.
Why don’t you at least try some of the many suggestions we have been offering?
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Hi Lila! So glad you are still in the fight!
Sometimes I get in a negative mood that just feeds on itself and I have to do something to break the cycle.
Its hard, but that's OK.
I can do hard things.
So can you!
Tell us about something good that is happening. Even if it is the absence of something bad. For example, you could say, "I have no life, but at least there isn't a hurricane today!"
Even something as small as that can be helpful.
Be well!!!
Sometimes I get in a negative mood that just feeds on itself and I have to do something to break the cycle.
Its hard, but that's OK.
I can do hard things.
So can you!
Tell us about something good that is happening. Even if it is the absence of something bad. For example, you could say, "I have no life, but at least there isn't a hurricane today!"
Even something as small as that can be helpful.
Be well!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Lila, you described pretty much the last decade of my life. I'm sober now but life is still a mess, just like my apartment. I used to have issues with ruminating about the past and a life I ruined but it's obvious now it wasn't the life I was meant for. I'm pretty much starting over in my mid-40's now and have no idea what I'm going to do but I stopped thinking about the past.
Hope you feel better soon
Hope you feel better soon
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