Tetrax

Thanks pal, I do appreciate it. I just wish the obvious drugs to help alcoholics weren't mostly denied to them. My GP ironically is also an alcoholic (he told me he saw me at an AA meeting when I didn't even notice him) so maybe I can blackmail him for the most basic humanistic drugs. I would hate to do it, though I guess it would be pretty easy. I hate the NHS.

Hawkeye13

After being so angry at your housemate for ratting you out about drinking, you want to do the same to another person who acknowledged you at an AA meeting by threatening to blackmail him?

He’s just a person with an addiction, like you, and certainly not the NHS.

Hope this is either irony or your bottom Tetrax.
Not pretty either way.

Primativo

Not sure where you are going with this, but it's not illegal for a GP to be an alcoholic in recovery so not sure how blackmail would work. Blackmail in any case is a nasty human endeavour.
You need to let go of resentment, because it will keep you drinking.

The drugs you want are basically dry alcohol, so you are just swapping one numbing drug for another.

I feel for you being in the thralls of severe anxiety, it's a horrible situation, but drinking isn't the answer., it will just make everything worse. i've been exactly where you were, and I did drink too to cope. Morning till night. The next day though my anxiety would get even worse, and then I'd drink again, and the next day even worse still. The only way to feeling better is to stop imbibing that poison.

Obladi

Tetrax, you've been through this before. You know that all of your nerves are on edge when you remove the numbing effect of alcohol. Expecting a quick fix is part of what got us into the trouble we landed in, right?

Anxiety can be truly horrifying and seem absolutely unbearable, I know. But I also know that it won't kill us even if it feels like it will. I learned too that its power diminishes over time - because that's what happened to me. Are there times I still have seemingly unbearable bouts of anxiety? Sure. But they are fewer and farther between, and I know what needs to be done. I didn't get there by running away into a chemical escape, but by standing my ground.

Call someone, go for a walk, break a sweat, go to a meeting with a deliberately open attitude.. Live through it. Figure out what is at the way bottom of my anxiety - What does this feel like? When did I first feel this way? What is it about this situation that is putting me back to that place? How could I handle this situation effectively like a grown person?

NHS isn't the only system that doesn't know how to deal effectively with addiction. I'd say that's more the norm than the exception. Maybe that's because when you get right down to it, quitting and staying stopped is entirely an inside job.

I sincerely believe you can do this, Tetrax. "All" it takes is making the firm decision to never drink now. ("All" in quotes because getting to that point and sticking with it is no small accomplishment.)

O

Tetrax

Sorry for where this thread went. I would never tell on another alcoholic; I was just being silly and hopped up. Thanks for all your responses.