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Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 1,312
Thought provoking that pickle 🤔
For me who could exercise control sometimes and then often not at all (total binge drinking when the opportunity was there) then I think it would have been falling over (which I've done many times) and seriously hurting myself or somebody else or doing something else stupid that completely wrecked my life in some way or other, came close a few times, hence deciding to stop!
For me who could exercise control sometimes and then often not at all (total binge drinking when the opportunity was there) then I think it would have been falling over (which I've done many times) and seriously hurting myself or somebody else or doing something else stupid that completely wrecked my life in some way or other, came close a few times, hence deciding to stop!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Worsening physical and mental well being, an increasingly dysfunctional life. I was pretty lucky that I had avoided consequences partly by luck and partly by the fact I am single.
The fact that I am single meant that there was nobody that would really see me drinking in the mornings, or binging all weekend and passing out drunk. But that didn't mean what I was doing was acceptable, it just meant I could get away with it. However I knew full well that I could and would not be able to hold down a relationship, be a father, husband or partner to any sane woman, when I was active drinking. If I was hungover, I couldn't function the next day or barely, unless I picked up another drink. How can you hide that in a relationship? Forget about being a responsible dad if I chose to have kids at some point, I could barely look after myself when drinking.
Also, I was drink driving fairly often. Now I must state that I never drank drive when I was black out drunk, I was always aware and capable, but I would routinely drive after anything from a glass of wine to a bottle. Due to my tolerance, I felt perfectly fine, but of course legally I would have been over the limit. And what if someone had crashed into me? Even if it wasn't my fault, I'd have been breathalysed and arrested. So I was playing with fire really. It's luck that nothing bad happened, but I want to quit whilst my consequences have been fairly limited because surely it will only get worse if I continued.
The next stage of my drinking, I think I would have been able to continue as I was, but as I say my binges would have become more frequent, I'd have got fatter and unhealthier, and more unwell in all aspects, and just been more of a mess.
The fact that I am single meant that there was nobody that would really see me drinking in the mornings, or binging all weekend and passing out drunk. But that didn't mean what I was doing was acceptable, it just meant I could get away with it. However I knew full well that I could and would not be able to hold down a relationship, be a father, husband or partner to any sane woman, when I was active drinking. If I was hungover, I couldn't function the next day or barely, unless I picked up another drink. How can you hide that in a relationship? Forget about being a responsible dad if I chose to have kids at some point, I could barely look after myself when drinking.
Also, I was drink driving fairly often. Now I must state that I never drank drive when I was black out drunk, I was always aware and capable, but I would routinely drive after anything from a glass of wine to a bottle. Due to my tolerance, I felt perfectly fine, but of course legally I would have been over the limit. And what if someone had crashed into me? Even if it wasn't my fault, I'd have been breathalysed and arrested. So I was playing with fire really. It's luck that nothing bad happened, but I want to quit whilst my consequences have been fairly limited because surely it will only get worse if I continued.
The next stage of my drinking, I think I would have been able to continue as I was, but as I say my binges would have become more frequent, I'd have got fatter and unhealthier, and more unwell in all aspects, and just been more of a mess.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,409
Boy, I'm not sure I even know. I guess I could have gone on a bit longer, but if I kept starting and stopping as many times as I was, I think I would have been in danger of a seizure or worse when withdrawing one more time because they were getting worse and worse.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
I post about this to the point of being (even more) boring, but my wife’s friend is only a few years older than me and has alcohol-related cirrhosis. It’s as bad as can be, and a liver transplant is his only hope. In the meantime, he can barely walk and has to get his abdomen drained every few days. His wife is now his carer.
I’d cut down but not quit in 2018 and had a routine medical. I was OK, but an ultrasound showed a “mild fatty liver”. A high percentage of people have this due to being overweight or an unhealthy lifestyle, but for a heavy drinker, it’s not good news; it’s the first stage before irreversible fibrosis and then cirrhosis. After I quit 100%, I had a liver fibroscan 8 months later, and all that liver fat had gone.
If my wife’s friend had quit maybe as little as two years earlier, he’d still have had massive liver scarring, but it could’ve been manageable.
I have this creepy premonition that I had 5 years of drinking left before I suffered the same fate. Now whilst I’m out running and doing (slow) triathlons, I often think of my wife’s friend lying in bed at home as a parallel version of me. It gives me a very uneasy feeling indeed.
I’d cut down but not quit in 2018 and had a routine medical. I was OK, but an ultrasound showed a “mild fatty liver”. A high percentage of people have this due to being overweight or an unhealthy lifestyle, but for a heavy drinker, it’s not good news; it’s the first stage before irreversible fibrosis and then cirrhosis. After I quit 100%, I had a liver fibroscan 8 months later, and all that liver fat had gone.
If my wife’s friend had quit maybe as little as two years earlier, he’d still have had massive liver scarring, but it could’ve been manageable.
I have this creepy premonition that I had 5 years of drinking left before I suffered the same fate. Now whilst I’m out running and doing (slow) triathlons, I often think of my wife’s friend lying in bed at home as a parallel version of me. It gives me a very uneasy feeling indeed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2021
Location: Canada
Posts: 400
I drank for over 40 years. In that time I 'only' drank morning to night for a few days, a few times. Doing that scared the bejeebers out of me because of how much it negatively affected me physically and emotionally. Those experiences always got me to quit, but I also always went back to it after a while.
This last quit was because I felt health problems coming on and was pretty convinced that if I didn't stop I would do irreparable damage to myself. I passed five months AF last week and feel much better now both physically and emotionally. The knowledge that if I relapse again my health will deteriorate quickly again is something that I stay very focused on.
So in a nutshell, I was gonna get really sick and die in the not too distant future. Which kinda sucks
This last quit was because I felt health problems coming on and was pretty convinced that if I didn't stop I would do irreparable damage to myself. I passed five months AF last week and feel much better now both physically and emotionally. The knowledge that if I relapse again my health will deteriorate quickly again is something that I stay very focused on.
So in a nutshell, I was gonna get really sick and die in the not too distant future. Which kinda sucks
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,951
Nice and unique question. For me, my arguments with wife would have increased. Kids would start to disrespect me soon and point this anytime I advise.
Next big thing would be my mental and physical health. My brain fog would continue to worsen forgetting important things, wrong decisions.
Finally my career would have totally gone down the drain. Already I am heavily lagging. But I would have never woken up if I had continued drinking.
Next big thing would be my mental and physical health. My brain fog would continue to worsen forgetting important things, wrong decisions.
Finally my career would have totally gone down the drain. Already I am heavily lagging. But I would have never woken up if I had continued drinking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 74
Thank you so much for the replies. It's scary stuff.
I asked because I was curious as to when people came to the point of thinking "that's it, this is enough"
I'm so glad you all pulled back before the precipice, I know a few people in real life who didn't and are dead now. In fact I don't know any really heavy drinker who stopped. So it's good to hear from the experiences of those who have, thank you again.
Mine would have been homelessness because I was getting more careless with paying the rent. Or a heart attack during withdrawals they were getting that bad.
I asked because I was curious as to when people came to the point of thinking "that's it, this is enough"
I'm so glad you all pulled back before the precipice, I know a few people in real life who didn't and are dead now. In fact I don't know any really heavy drinker who stopped. So it's good to hear from the experiences of those who have, thank you again.
Mine would have been homelessness because I was getting more careless with paying the rent. Or a heart attack during withdrawals they were getting that bad.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
It's like asking an omnipotent being if they could create a stone too heavy for themselves to be able to lift.
But.... as a more down to earth answer - I think I'd be 6 feet under, if it had not been for the free healthcare provided here, also; the very forgiving nature we have.
Several rehabs stays have combined made me stay sober for maybe 4-5 years in the past 10 in total. The stigma that alcoholics or drugs addicts are bad people, it's simply wrong. At rehab, I've met people from all across the land and overseas (immigrants). I've never, ever met anyone I disliked. Some of they have been to prison, and are serving part of the sentence at rehab. An open facility. No security whatsoever.
But.... as a more down to earth answer - I think I'd be 6 feet under, if it had not been for the free healthcare provided here, also; the very forgiving nature we have.
Several rehabs stays have combined made me stay sober for maybe 4-5 years in the past 10 in total. The stigma that alcoholics or drugs addicts are bad people, it's simply wrong. At rehab, I've met people from all across the land and overseas (immigrants). I've never, ever met anyone I disliked. Some of they have been to prison, and are serving part of the sentence at rehab. An open facility. No security whatsoever.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I had a breathalyzer the last month I was drinking, and I was blowing a .40+ regularly. And that was not when I was at my drunkest. According to a friend who's a doctor, that means I could have gone into a coma pretty much any day. I was drinking liters of vodka and was very lucky that I didn't just poison myself, apparently.
I also feel pretty strongly that suicide was a big risk. I've never been so hopeless in my life. I was caught in this cycle where I was traumatizing myself through the drinking and then drinking because I couldn't bear to see it. I had lost my job and was going through savings, so it was a 24/7 cycle with pretty much no interruption. I was driving myself actually insane.
My friends and family did an intervention and sent me to detox. I think if that hadn't happened, I would have been dead within a few months.
I also feel pretty strongly that suicide was a big risk. I've never been so hopeless in my life. I was caught in this cycle where I was traumatizing myself through the drinking and then drinking because I couldn't bear to see it. I had lost my job and was going through savings, so it was a 24/7 cycle with pretty much no interruption. I was driving myself actually insane.
My friends and family did an intervention and sent me to detox. I think if that hadn't happened, I would have been dead within a few months.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 74
Thanks for your experiences guys, heavy stuff. Glad you made it out.
It really is a vicious drug. My doctor told me before, it's the most destructive drug out of them all. Affects and damages every organ and destroys your mind along with your brain. And addictive. Not just to some people but to anyone who overindulges enough.
That's even without the life consequences of the insane things you do under the influence. For what? To chase (but never get) the couple of hours buzz you used to get when you first started drinking.
And then there's the could-be-life-threatening withdrawals before you can even start to leave it behind.
Man, it's just not worth messing with
It really is a vicious drug. My doctor told me before, it's the most destructive drug out of them all. Affects and damages every organ and destroys your mind along with your brain. And addictive. Not just to some people but to anyone who overindulges enough.
That's even without the life consequences of the insane things you do under the influence. For what? To chase (but never get) the couple of hours buzz you used to get when you first started drinking.
And then there's the could-be-life-threatening withdrawals before you can even start to leave it behind.
Man, it's just not worth messing with
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by brighterday1234 
Suicide at some point probably.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
My mental health was very low. I had no other option but to get sober if I wanted to live. That was the only message I received in the morning from my last night of drinking. Live or die. There were no other options. This is not me being dramatic. I was at a crossroads with my life. So, the next step down? I made the best decision of my life that morning. I am so so so so GRATEFUL!
Thankful. All the fulls. All the good stuff.
Thankful. All the fulls. All the good stuff.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
In the series of endless 'bottoms' I've experienced, I've learned two things. The only true bottom is the grave and there is always another surprising new low just waiting for me.
This last relapse, I wound up in the medical section of the ER for withdrawal. Nothing new there, aside from the particular type of care setting. But the new twist was that I devloped hospital-induced dementia, from which some people never return. So I guess the next low for me might be living in a skilled nursing facility for the rest of my life, not able to speak coherently, remember things, or move around without assistance.
The sad thing is that scare stories do nothing for me, even when they are my own. The one and only way I know to avoid the next bottom is to never drink now. And the only way that can happen is if I continue to do the things that keep me physically, mentally and spiritually on track.
This last relapse, I wound up in the medical section of the ER for withdrawal. Nothing new there, aside from the particular type of care setting. But the new twist was that I devloped hospital-induced dementia, from which some people never return. So I guess the next low for me might be living in a skilled nursing facility for the rest of my life, not able to speak coherently, remember things, or move around without assistance.
The sad thing is that scare stories do nothing for me, even when they are my own. The one and only way I know to avoid the next bottom is to never drink now. And the only way that can happen is if I continue to do the things that keep me physically, mentally and spiritually on track.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 74
I, myself, wouldn't call them scare stories Obladi. More like peoples testimonies to just where drink can bring you.
And judging by people's experiences, to the brink of facing death in the near future (or going mad, which could be worse) or wanting to die. The resilience though, shown by the people on this thread, is amazing. Pulling back and turning things around when people got so low is a shining example of the human spirit, I think.
And judging by people's experiences, to the brink of facing death in the near future (or going mad, which could be worse) or wanting to die. The resilience though, shown by the people on this thread, is amazing. Pulling back and turning things around when people got so low is a shining example of the human spirit, I think.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 260
The 10 per cent of my drinking that was done 'in the open' was enough to worry my wife.
But neither she, nor anybody else, knew of the 90 per cent that was conducted in secret. So I suppose the next step would have been some horrendous event -- I dread to think what -- that forced the exposure of the true extent of my drinking.
But neither she, nor anybody else, knew of the 90 per cent that was conducted in secret. So I suppose the next step would have been some horrendous event -- I dread to think what -- that forced the exposure of the true extent of my drinking.
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