Life has gotten better but I had to work at it
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Life has gotten better but I had to work at it
I’m nearing my 3rd year in recovery and almost everything in my life has improved from when I was drinking. The only thing that hasn’t is I gained some weight because I’m not burning the candles at both ends like I used to.
I was a binge drinker, sometimes going months without a drink only to go full bore whenever I decided to take a drink. The duration and intensity of my binges increase over the years. A few years before I quit a night out would usually end at closing time at the bar. When I quit it was because I was drinking for 5 days straight on vodka. It was a progression that happened little by little and I had to accept that I no longer had any control whenever I got alcohol in my system
I went to treatment and managed to keep my job, my gf and pretty much everything that was important to me but I was on the edge of losing everything.
My life is much better these days but I had to work at it. I had to relearn coping skills, how to identify and deal with urges, euphoric recall, new activities, dealing with anxiety, picking up old joys (like reading), and finding new interests. I had to rebuild my sober social connections, re-establish good relationships with family members, re-engage with community work that I liked and all that.
I also had to find ways to deal with grief, sadness and anger during the pandemic. I probably know well over 100 people who have died these past couple of year. In the past, this would have been cause for me to drink. Instead I learned how to reach out to their family members, offer condolences, give a little money or attend their services. In my drinking life I would have just went to the bar and drank and told strangers about these people while never contacting their family members except maybe to leave an rambling email message at 3am at night.
I could go on and on about different areas of life that have improved and why but I just wanted to encourage everyone to keep working at building their new lives. It’s not easy but its worth doing.
I was a binge drinker, sometimes going months without a drink only to go full bore whenever I decided to take a drink. The duration and intensity of my binges increase over the years. A few years before I quit a night out would usually end at closing time at the bar. When I quit it was because I was drinking for 5 days straight on vodka. It was a progression that happened little by little and I had to accept that I no longer had any control whenever I got alcohol in my system
I went to treatment and managed to keep my job, my gf and pretty much everything that was important to me but I was on the edge of losing everything.
My life is much better these days but I had to work at it. I had to relearn coping skills, how to identify and deal with urges, euphoric recall, new activities, dealing with anxiety, picking up old joys (like reading), and finding new interests. I had to rebuild my sober social connections, re-establish good relationships with family members, re-engage with community work that I liked and all that.
I also had to find ways to deal with grief, sadness and anger during the pandemic. I probably know well over 100 people who have died these past couple of year. In the past, this would have been cause for me to drink. Instead I learned how to reach out to their family members, offer condolences, give a little money or attend their services. In my drinking life I would have just went to the bar and drank and told strangers about these people while never contacting their family members except maybe to leave an rambling email message at 3am at night.
I could go on and on about different areas of life that have improved and why but I just wanted to encourage everyone to keep working at building their new lives. It’s not easy but its worth doing.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
Originally Posted by ciowa 
My life is much better these days but I had to work at it.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Congratulations for these 3 years. Thank you for the heartwarming message too.
Very sorry to read about all the pain you must have gone through with so many losses during this horrible pandemic.
Still, It seems that you are also 'recovering' time. It is quite remarkable everything you have achieved. I am not that far from 3 years and still grateful I managed (just about) to hold my job, marriage and good relationship with my kids. Just keeping my head about water from the depth I was coming from has been a massive achievement and I am very proud of it.
So you should be ecstatic. These positive messages make me always stronger in my resolution to keep on my sobriety path and discover all the possibilities ahead of me.
Very sorry to read about all the pain you must have gone through with so many losses during this horrible pandemic.
Still, It seems that you are also 'recovering' time. It is quite remarkable everything you have achieved. I am not that far from 3 years and still grateful I managed (just about) to hold my job, marriage and good relationship with my kids. Just keeping my head about water from the depth I was coming from has been a massive achievement and I am very proud of it.
So you should be ecstatic. These positive messages make me always stronger in my resolution to keep on my sobriety path and discover all the possibilities ahead of me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by DriGuy
Yes, successful recovery needs that, but in the interest of making the point that it's not the chore it sounds like, it is highly rewarding work. You can work yourself silly on your job, but it was never as rewarding for me as the work of making my life better. It's not a payment in money, however. I comes as inner peace and contentment, something you can't buy with money. Money was never a problem for me. I made enough money. Contentment has no cash value, but it is literally and metaphorically priceless.
I was used to doing what I wanted when I wanted so I compromise a lot more with loved ones. I take calls when im tired, I go to visit people when I might have went to a movie, I sit in meeting and share when I would feel more comfortable just hanging and back and not saying a thing. Stuff like that.
So these types of changes are becoming more like second nature but as its been a new routine, it was work for me but rewarding at that.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Getting sober and recovering was/ is a lot of work for me too. It has proven to be rewarding, but the first year for me was very very hard. I commend you for looking within and for finding new healthier ways to approach life and life's challenges. You have changed many dynamics, and will continue to change, and grow, and learn, and on and on and on! Congratulations on your recovery time!
This is OUTSTANDING!
This is OUTSTANDING!
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