Horndude

Its been a month and this has been easy and it has me a little spooked. I went to a counselling session and it spooked her a little too. Pretty regular two or three double Manhattan a day guy for years and it was slowing me down so I am giving sobriety a good look. My wife is a heavy drinker and I am trying to get an answer out of her if she even wants to quit, she is killing herself. She won't up to this point get help but she is taking days off, its almost worse like that. I feel like when she does leave it alone there is resentment like "I won't let her drink" rather than seeing the value in sobriety.

Steely

Nothing spooky about that Horndude. Very happy for you.

Maybe he your wife doesn't want to quit yet? Be a good role model, but let her find her own way is my view. She doesn't have to do as you do. It's an individual choice.

Congrats on one month.

dustyfox

Congratulations Horndude on your own sobriety.
Just a quick word from a 'heavy drinking wife' - I was a heavy drinking wife until recently - I also didn't want to quit, at times resented my husband if ever he said 'cut down' 'you drink too much' etc ; and NOTHING he ever said persuaded me to stop.
I stopped because one day I woke up, as usual at 4am in the morning, with a pounding heart and crippling anxiety and just realised I could not go on like this, I didn't want to go on like this. Then I stopped.
I don't know if your wife will stop, I hope she does. Your own good example may help her. But don't let her drinking stop you from enjoying a sober life.

Mizz

Congrats on your sober time. It is really good that you have found getting sober to be easy. Keep doing that.

As for your spouse, she has her own road to travel when it comes to her drinking. She may or may not quit, or slow down, or even see her drinking as an issue. What is important is that you take care of yourself in the best way possible. Eventually, she may want what you have and decide to give sobriety a try. For now. keep on keeping on and know you are changing your life.

BackandScared

Once we go through withdrawal (if you had withdrawal symptoms, I did) the truth is that life becomes immediately more manageable and easier. However, you seem to be getting yourself into some trouble by wanting to change your partner's drinking. That will not be difficult. It will be just impossible. this is your journey. Focus on yourself and enjoy it.

DriGuy

As a rule of thumb, I don't try to interfere with an alcoholic's drinking. You are right that sobriety is easy, but what surprises me is that for most of us, getting to that point can take a year or more. I'm happy for you, but it may not be that easy for your wife, so don't expect that of her.