Magpie82

Hi,

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I’ve been reading some of the posts and it’s been helpful. So many selfless loving people here.

I was pregnant from August 2020 to April 2021 and then breastfeeding until the end of 2021. I have a beautiful 1 year old daughter who I am absolutely in love with.

All that time off of drinking, I guess I thought maybe I could re-introduce it and drink normally, but now I’m drinking 5-7 a night minimum. I don’t get blackout drunk, but I do feel like I need the alcohol to relax and decompress. At first I would wait until my daughter went to bed to start, but now I start right after we get home after work. This means I’m drinking while feeding her dinner, drinking while bathing her, drinking while reading her bedtime stories… I feel ashamed. I do not want to be an alcoholic mom. I love her so much.

I need to figure this out. I’m going to try not to drink today.

Thanks for being here.

Hevyn

Hi Magpie - it's so nice to see you again.

I think it's great that you're taking a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life. I, too, thought I could have 'a few' after being sober for a while. I drank to calm myself down & to feel less anxious about things. I should have figured out why I felt the way I did, instead of masking my feelings. It's good that you realize what needs to happen.
Congratulations on your one year old daughter.

Shealy

Hi!
I’m back to the forums after some time away too. I have some good sober time but started getting that niggling thought of “maybe it wasn’t the bad”. (Spoiler alert: it was) So, I’m back to read the threads and remember why I can’t ever pick up another drink again for the rest of my life.

I have a 19 month old and while I also wasn’t getting black out, it had become THE coping mechanism for all the stresses of parenthood. I’m also the daughter of an alcoholic mum and absolutely do not want to put my children through what I endured. So, there’s no room in my life anymore for alcohol, full stop.

If you’re on Facebook, there’s a couple of Sober Mom type groups that I’ve joined and find really helpful. I find that having lots of resources to lean on has helped me get through the cravings- this forum, Facebook groups, podcasts, books (this naked mind and quit like a woman).

Quitting alcohol during early parenthood can be quite tough, I think. But, you also have a powerful motivator in your daughter and knowing that if you stop right now, she will never have to know an alcoholic mother.

good luck!

least

I hope you'll post here often and let us support you until you can stay sober on your own.

Shealy

Oops, my reply posted twice and idk how to delete the second one!

Dee74

Welcome back Magpie and shealy

yes I confused abstinence for control many times, but they are not the same thing.
Finally I accepted that the first drink starts all the trouble. The first drink makes e one my rational mind, literally.

No drink, no trouble

D

Mizz

I too drank right when I got home. Almost every single day.
I get it, not wanting to be the thing that you find yourself being. The good news is:
You can change. Its all in your power to change your life and to live a happy existence. Its not easy but it does get easier over time.
Congrats for coming here and posting. We are here for you.