MaximusD

Glad things are better Jeni. Have you done therapy or considered it for those feelings that came up?

Steely

Good on you Jeni.

DriGuy

Those preliminary thoughts of drinking and smoking can occur at any time, even well into years of sobriety, but I believe that with continued sobriety, your power of choice gets continually stronger, so there is no reason to drink or smoke just because your AV tells you that you deserve to treat yourself to a little bit of self harm.

The dangers of alcohol and tobacco are just as strong today as they ever were, but with years of sobriety under your belt, your ability to ignore the urges are even stronger. There is nothing sadder to me than to see a person far along in recovery give into an urge that is a fraction of the urges he/she dealt with at the beginning of recovery.

That is my definition of really "blowing it." A newcomer that succumbs to an urge doesn't bother me as much. I just assume he hasn't figured it out yet, and there is still hope. But when this happens to someone far into recovery, it seems more like a wanton act of self destruction that is more satisfying only to those who want to see you fail. And what is really sad is that you are stronger than that.

VikingGF

Glad you had the knowledge and fortitude to both come here and put on the PJs. 6 years is fantastic- there is no reason to sacrifice that time. There was a good post here recently about forgetting the last day you drank- and the farther we get from our sober date, how do we keep that close so we never forget nothing is worth going back there. This post keeps me vigilant- thank you for that part- and also for demonstrating exactly what to do when the urges come. Many congrats on your successes and turning your life around.

Sammy1980

No matter how much time we have in our sobriety we can never let our guard down.
It amazes me how strong a graving or urge can be after two and half years.
When this does happen, I go back and think about how hard and how long it took me to stop. The crying every day, the self-hate, Shame and so on.... Is it worth it? Not in a million years!
Good going Jeni!
I loved this quite by DriGuy
But when this happens to someone far into recovery, it seems more like a wanton act of self-destruction that is more satisfying only to those who want to see you fail.

biminiblue

Family causes the deepest hurts, I know that from painful experience.

I'm glad you made the right decision for your life. Your sister's actions don't have to affect yours. This is her problem, even though she's trying to foist it on you. My tactic was always to just walk away. Well, after years of trying to argue it out - then I Learned to Walk Away.

DriGuy

That is often the best solution. I use that too.

Dropsie

So good to hear from you and sorry for what brought you, but glad it seems better now.
My sister and I also have a difficult dynamic sometimes, which I hope is not too hard on her, need to ask.
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