Mags1

least

^^^^ oh i like that

sometimes I berate myself for thinking that getting sober would end my 'pleasant' life. looking back i can't see a damn thing pleasant about my life back then. life is infinitely better sober.

calmself

End of Day 169 - Good night from Seattle.

Mags1

Goodnight calmself, congratulations on 169!

calmself

Thanks, Mags! GM all.

Leshar

Well, Mags and everyone, I need help.
After doing well, and feeling as though I was on the right path, I drank again in the throes of horrible symptoms as I tapered Ativan (under medical supervision and at my request). Now, I can't seem to gain back ground. Chronic loneliness and no family support leaves me throwing in the towel again and again. But alcohol has robbed me of so much. So, help. I'm trying again. After trying again to garner family support and being dismissed, I have nowhere to go.

MLD51

Leshar, glad you are reaching out for help here. I'm sorry your family has dismissed you. I don't know what the history is there, but it must really hurt to be dismissed when asking for help. Do you have a program or plan to help you get and remain sober? I know there are people who only use SR as their sober support, but I think most of us need more than that. I threw a bunch of stuff at the wall in early sobriety to see what stuck. I still use most of my early tools to some extent. I went to intensive OP treatment, lots of AA, talked to anyone who would listen about my addiction and recovery, came to SR several times a day, read all the books. I hope you can find something that works for you.

Thanks for the well wishes about my dog, everyone. He is still with me, but seems no better, maybe a little worse. He's barely eating at all now. He still goes outside to do his business, but that seems like all he has energy for. He's extremely lethargic. I am having a LOT of trouble getting his medications into him now, but I don't know if they are doing any good anyway. It was sort of a shot in the dark to treat for pneumonia. I'm thinking he's fading away. I hope I'm wrong.

Leshar

Thanks, MLD. My Psychiatrist mentioned CBT a while ago and I see him on Thursday and will ask for a referral.
I'm afraid I didn't have a good experience with AA, although I like to think I tried. I wrote a thread about my experience when I was trying to get sober some years ago.

I'm so sorry about your beloved dog. Thanks again for responding. I don't feel so alone.

MLD51

You are NOT alone, but I understand that feeling.

AA isn't for everyone. I get that. It actually doesn't do much for me anymore. I go to meetings every once in a while because I did enjoy some of the women in my meetings, and my home group is a women's only meeting that doesn't use the big book much. We tend to try to find ways of addressing the trauma and issues that are common to women in recovery. But a lot of AA dogma rubs me the wrong way. I try to ignore that stuff and take what works for me out of the program, and there is quite a bit that does.

I hope the CBT does you some good. It's just like anything... it takes work on your part. It can be really useful at modifying your thought process and behavior if you get a good therapist and do the work.

saoutchik

Sorry you're struggling Leshar but well done for posting. This is much easier to advise than it is to do but if you can, try not to allow your recovery to be dependent on your family. It must be really upsetting that they acted like they have but purely in terms of not drinking that mostly comes from the person trying to quit anyway. If you can get sober you will be able to be more active which in turn puts you in a much better position to ease the loneliness too. Sending a virtual hug.

Robbie64

Lesha

It's worth looking into CBT. Many people have found it useful though as MLD51 has posted, it will take work on your part to make it work.

Leshar

Thank you, Saou. You are right, of course about family. I just get so lonely and keep trying to reach out and be heard because I have little/no real life support.

Robbie, thanks. I hope my Psychiatrist will refer me. I need something over and above medication.

fishkiller

Leshar we are sending strength from fishland.
Loneliness is rough. Even when we have family around we can feel lonely. We are in a position most are not and most do not understand.
Sobriety and strength come from inside anyway.
Have faith that it Will Get Better.
If we remain sober

Dee74

We are all standing with you Leshar
The voice that says there is no point to getting sober is a liar.

I hope you get that referral

D

Leshar

Thank you, FK. My family (siblings) will never understand, nor support me.

Thanks, as always, dear Dee.

itsmaria

MLD I'm really sorry your dog is struggling. It's a tough time. I lost my two senior kitties- the second one last November.

I hope you can take care and stay steady for yourself and him.

Purplrks3647

(((Leshar)))

Free2bme888

Leshar, we are real life support! We aren’t face to face, but we are here 24/7.

Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I just read on SR. So many things to read! So much knowledge.
So much hope!

This is the greatest (in number AND in spirit) of real people, most of whom have long term sobriety, that I’ve ever ‘met’.

Come on anytime.

The book Alcohol Explained helped me too.

Free2bme888

Free2bme888

FK, great posts. We are hopefully breaking ground on a home in two weeks.

NEVER thought about workers who build homes drinking on the job. Thankfully we live about 30 minutes from homesite. I’ll be checking.

Coffee? Absolutely!

Ice cream? Absolutely! Jamoca almond fudge is the BEST!!!

🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️