Glass half empty
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
I think about them Peke.
Not the thought per se, but I don’t pretend it’s not happening, I try to do something about it.
It’s very hard to control what happens in our minds, however, it’s 100% in our control to decide what we do with it.
Not the thought per se, but I don’t pretend it’s not happening, I try to do something about it.
It’s very hard to control what happens in our minds, however, it’s 100% in our control to decide what we do with it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
This is a good distillation of negative thoughts, what they are, and how one might deal with them PL 
https://www.familycentre.org/news/po...eps-for-change
You’re dealing with a lots of unknowns right now, but you’re not alone. Lean on the gang here
D
https://www.familycentre.org/news/po...eps-for-change
You’re dealing with a lots of unknowns right now, but you’re not alone. Lean on the gang here
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,152
This is a tough one. As I am sure you know.
I do different things.
If I am just having a negative day I try to focus on happy, positive thoughts. Some days, like yesterday, it doesn't work so well. Most days it helps.
If I am having negative thoughts about a particular thing, like your medical worries at the moment, I try to accept that the outcome is out of my control. Because it 100% is out of our control.
Accept that and focus on living the best you can in the present.
I do different things.
If I am just having a negative day I try to focus on happy, positive thoughts. Some days, like yesterday, it doesn't work so well. Most days it helps.
If I am having negative thoughts about a particular thing, like your medical worries at the moment, I try to accept that the outcome is out of my control. Because it 100% is out of our control.
Accept that and focus on living the best you can in the present.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
You have a lot to deal with at the moment, Peke, so it's not surprising that negative thoughts are appearing. I find that I try to acknowledge the negative thoughts and immediately try to let them go. They are just thoughts. They are not me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,695
Hi Pekelover
It depends on what you mean by negative thoughts. I know your going through alot right now so if it's related to that I wouldn't call those negative thoughts at all. It's cause and effect. Ofcourse you want to manage those to some extent if it's getting too overwhelming. Allowing some processing, self compassion and self care is vital. It can be a delicate balance but the most important aspect is too be gentle with yourself. I'm not sure what strategies you use for things like self soothing but if your able too, implement some deep self care techniques. If your struggling sometimes we need to allow that and take one step at a time.
It depends on what you mean by negative thoughts. I know your going through alot right now so if it's related to that I wouldn't call those negative thoughts at all. It's cause and effect. Ofcourse you want to manage those to some extent if it's getting too overwhelming. Allowing some processing, self compassion and self care is vital. It can be a delicate balance but the most important aspect is too be gentle with yourself. I'm not sure what strategies you use for things like self soothing but if your able too, implement some deep self care techniques. If your struggling sometimes we need to allow that and take one step at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,305
These are great suggestions. I thank you all so much.
I’ve always had negative thoughts. Even before these recent health issues.
I’m tired of facing the day scared and full of negative “what-if’s”.
I’ve always had negative thoughts. Even before these recent health issues.
I’m tired of facing the day scared and full of negative “what-if’s”.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,305
Things got a bit worse today. I tried to take some deep breaths.
I finally went into my closet and sat on the floor and cried. I know that’s not a great coping skill. But it’s all I could do right now. Taking deep breaths now. I just did an ab class on the floor.
I finally went into my closet and sat on the floor and cried. I know that’s not a great coping skill. But it’s all I could do right now. Taking deep breaths now. I just did an ab class on the floor.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
There is a lot of anxiety for you. Its understandable.
I've struggled with negative thoughts a lot in my life. Rumination. Not being able to move forward and let events go. Being on a hamster wheel. Drinking alcohol only made this situation worse in my life, and when I quit drinking, I faced a raging fire of anxiety, rumination and negative thoughts. There was no escape. No rainbows appeared. My brain was relentless with looping and finding anything and everything to latch on to. As hard as it was for me to quit drinking, and quitting was very very hard for me, the anxiety and dealing with my brain has been the hardest part. My anxiety was on full display every day for a very very long time. This is one reason as to why I dove head first into Nichiren Buddhism and have not looked back. The focus is to find the solution with each challenge that presents itself. To never be defeated. To find the positive and to know there is an answer and a positive outcome. Its a daily effort and one that has tangible benefits. Without this practice of chanting and daily readings, I am not sure If I would have found any peace. 18 months sober now and I can officially say the hard work of structure, chanting, readings, daily participation here, running, weights, and overcoming self destructive patterns has given me a sense of PEACE. Human revolution.
I had a tumor in my eye recently and was facing a potential cancer diagnosis. The truth of this matter was had this tumor been malignant, I would have had to undergo body scans to see if I had cancer in my lungs or liver. We did not know anything for what seemed like FOREVER. Even after the surgery it was a few more weeks before I knew the results. Ocular melanoma or no? All of this "potential" information was being thrown at me for processing. The waiting around each day. The "what if" of the situation. Google searches that had me dead within a weeks time.
I chanted. Chanted. Chanted. Expressed myself on this forum. Chanted. Sang. Chanted. Never being defeated and continued to chant. I couldnt drink. I couldnt destroy my progress. I could not give in or give up. I was determined. I was a lion.
We have today to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. You are doing very well. Cry if you need to cry. Scream if you need to scream. Breathe in and out. Human life is hard. Human life is beautiful. You are getting through some very hard things right now. You will get through. Chop wood and carry water. Keep moving forward.
Oh, and maybe while you are laying in your closet (which sounds like a perfectly acceptable place to be) you can read up a little about Nichiren Buddhism.
SGI on the Web
I've struggled with negative thoughts a lot in my life. Rumination. Not being able to move forward and let events go. Being on a hamster wheel. Drinking alcohol only made this situation worse in my life, and when I quit drinking, I faced a raging fire of anxiety, rumination and negative thoughts. There was no escape. No rainbows appeared. My brain was relentless with looping and finding anything and everything to latch on to. As hard as it was for me to quit drinking, and quitting was very very hard for me, the anxiety and dealing with my brain has been the hardest part. My anxiety was on full display every day for a very very long time. This is one reason as to why I dove head first into Nichiren Buddhism and have not looked back. The focus is to find the solution with each challenge that presents itself. To never be defeated. To find the positive and to know there is an answer and a positive outcome. Its a daily effort and one that has tangible benefits. Without this practice of chanting and daily readings, I am not sure If I would have found any peace. 18 months sober now and I can officially say the hard work of structure, chanting, readings, daily participation here, running, weights, and overcoming self destructive patterns has given me a sense of PEACE. Human revolution.
I had a tumor in my eye recently and was facing a potential cancer diagnosis. The truth of this matter was had this tumor been malignant, I would have had to undergo body scans to see if I had cancer in my lungs or liver. We did not know anything for what seemed like FOREVER. Even after the surgery it was a few more weeks before I knew the results. Ocular melanoma or no? All of this "potential" information was being thrown at me for processing. The waiting around each day. The "what if" of the situation. Google searches that had me dead within a weeks time.
I chanted. Chanted. Chanted. Expressed myself on this forum. Chanted. Sang. Chanted. Never being defeated and continued to chant. I couldnt drink. I couldnt destroy my progress. I could not give in or give up. I was determined. I was a lion.
We have today to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. You are doing very well. Cry if you need to cry. Scream if you need to scream. Breathe in and out. Human life is hard. Human life is beautiful. You are getting through some very hard things right now. You will get through. Chop wood and carry water. Keep moving forward.
Oh, and maybe while you are laying in your closet (which sounds like a perfectly acceptable place to be) you can read up a little about Nichiren Buddhism.
SGI on the Web
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Crying is a legit skill in my book - I could us a bit more of that.
What really helped me with negative thoughts was to start to learn meditation. I used the free portion of the app Headspace. It's easy, not intimidating at all, and starts with short stints.
When it comes to negative thoughts about myself, the best thing I did was to learn to accept myself and all of my foibles with love and grace. I am flawed and have made terrible mistakes, but that doesn't make me 'bad' or 'wrong,' which it sometimes felt the world was telling me.
What really helped me with negative thoughts was to start to learn meditation. I used the free portion of the app Headspace. It's easy, not intimidating at all, and starts with short stints.
When it comes to negative thoughts about myself, the best thing I did was to learn to accept myself and all of my foibles with love and grace. I am flawed and have made terrible mistakes, but that doesn't make me 'bad' or 'wrong,' which it sometimes felt the world was telling me.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,848
Are they negative thoughts? Sounds like anxious thoughts, despairing thoughts and they show you care, that you think about the future and how scary it seems at the moment, how little you can do to control it all.
I think it is healthy to have such thoughts, you are going through a lot of complex and worrying stuff at the moment. Letting it out, crying, writing here is all helpful in processing these powerful feelings. It will make it easier to find some peace and acceptance. I found it very hard to do this, but I know it is possible.
I think it is healthy to have such thoughts, you are going through a lot of complex and worrying stuff at the moment. Letting it out, crying, writing here is all helpful in processing these powerful feelings. It will make it easier to find some peace and acceptance. I found it very hard to do this, but I know it is possible.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,305
Oh Mizz…
thank you so much for this incredible reply. My cousin is a Buddhist and I have two books that she’s lent me to read. I remember your story and reading it reminded me how to coped and handled the situation with your tumor. And you got through it so well. I’m going to start reading these books. Right now I have the four agreements pasted to my vanity. I think they’re Buddhist. I will read up on Nichiren Buddhism. I’m so proud of you for 18 months sober!
Thanks, Zura Ob and Dee.
Dusty,
they’re both negative and anxious thoughts. Like “you are never going to get this job…” or “they just interviewed you because they’re desperate”…and then I have other thoughts like “my life is wasted” or “it’s too late to change”. Lately I’ve been feeling unattractive. Not working out because of the hand surgery. So thoughts like “you’re a blimp” or “you’re so ugly” are running around in my head too.
see why I drink, lol?
thank you so much for this incredible reply. My cousin is a Buddhist and I have two books that she’s lent me to read. I remember your story and reading it reminded me how to coped and handled the situation with your tumor. And you got through it so well. I’m going to start reading these books. Right now I have the four agreements pasted to my vanity. I think they’re Buddhist. I will read up on Nichiren Buddhism. I’m so proud of you for 18 months sober!
Thanks, Zura Ob and Dee.
Dusty,
they’re both negative and anxious thoughts. Like “you are never going to get this job…” or “they just interviewed you because they’re desperate”…and then I have other thoughts like “my life is wasted” or “it’s too late to change”. Lately I’ve been feeling unattractive. Not working out because of the hand surgery. So thoughts like “you’re a blimp” or “you’re so ugly” are running around in my head too.
see why I drink, lol?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by Pekelover2 
Dusty,
they’re both negative and anxious thoughts. Like “you are never going to get this job…” or “they just interviewed you because they’re desperate”…and then I have other thoughts like “my life is wasted” or “it’s too late to change”. Lately I’ve been feeling unattractive. Not working out because of the hand surgery. So thoughts like “you’re a blimp” or “you’re so ugly” are running around in my head too.
see why I drink, lol?
they’re both negative and anxious thoughts. Like “you are never going to get this job…” or “they just interviewed you because they’re desperate”…and then I have other thoughts like “my life is wasted” or “it’s too late to change”. Lately I’ve been feeling unattractive. Not working out because of the hand surgery. So thoughts like “you’re a blimp” or “you’re so ugly” are running around in my head too.
see why I drink, lol?
I totally understand know what it is like to worry all the time, loop, and basically be a walking anxiety billboard.
Change the channel if you can. Keep changing the channel. You will get there.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Another thing I used to do to replace those negative thoughts was to pet my dog Billy. petting Billy puts me in a peaceful happy place. Stroking her shiny silky fur gets rid of my negative thoughts and it relaxes me.
You've got dogs. Pet them. A lot.
It works with cats too.
You've got dogs. Pet them. A lot.
It works with cats too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
I think about them, but do not dwell, I also ask myself if it is something out of my control, if it is I let it go. When I find myself starting to get anxious, or feel negative thoughts creeping in I will think of things I am grateful for, sometimes I will stop and write them down, sometimes I will think Of them as I go for a walk, and sometimes I will just do some breathing exercises until the thoughts pass.
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