Negative or Positive thoughts this weekend. 22 - 25 April 2022 Weekenders
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,666
Negative or Positive thoughts this weekend. 22 - 25 April 2022 Weekenders
Negative or Positive thoughts this weekend.
22 - 25 April 2022 Weekenders
I read an article in SR on ‘stop negative self talk’ a while back which led me to read more on the internet too.
There was a list of things to do to change negative thoughts.
One that stuck out for me was ‘switching the news off’. Which is good for me because I’m a born worrier and when I soak up all that’s going on in the world including the reporters many hypothesis on the subject I could stress for the world.
This led me down the road of negative thinking from listening to everything I could. Switching it off after getting the facts was a good thing for me.
There were also negative thoughts when I attempted to stop drinking many times.
I remember thinking I’d never stop for good, thoughts came in my head how better I’d be when I have a drink, how I’d relax more.
It was easier then to give in to the negative thoughts whilst not realising I was sliding further down the slippery slope.
Once I’d made a positive decision to stop drinking I was able to shrug off the negative voice in my head until it was barely a whisper that I had learnt to switch off.
Changing our thoughts from negative to positive thoughts can have many health benefits too, I read.
I remember when my mind raced with thoughts full of negativity about what I couldn’t do, how useless I felt. It caused me sleepless nights, mind racing, anxiety and even depression.
I seemed to be in a circle of negative thinking that only led to anxiety and depression for me.
The good thing is we can turn our negative thoughts into positive ones with some practice. It needn’t always be this way.
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
22 - 25 April 2022 Weekenders
I read an article in SR on ‘stop negative self talk’ a while back which led me to read more on the internet too.
There was a list of things to do to change negative thoughts.
One that stuck out for me was ‘switching the news off’. Which is good for me because I’m a born worrier and when I soak up all that’s going on in the world including the reporters many hypothesis on the subject I could stress for the world.
This led me down the road of negative thinking from listening to everything I could. Switching it off after getting the facts was a good thing for me.
There were also negative thoughts when I attempted to stop drinking many times.
I remember thinking I’d never stop for good, thoughts came in my head how better I’d be when I have a drink, how I’d relax more.
It was easier then to give in to the negative thoughts whilst not realising I was sliding further down the slippery slope.
Once I’d made a positive decision to stop drinking I was able to shrug off the negative voice in my head until it was barely a whisper that I had learnt to switch off.
Changing our thoughts from negative to positive thoughts can have many health benefits too, I read.
I remember when my mind raced with thoughts full of negativity about what I couldn’t do, how useless I felt. It caused me sleepless nights, mind racing, anxiety and even depression.
I seemed to be in a circle of negative thinking that only led to anxiety and depression for me.
The good thing is we can turn our negative thoughts into positive ones with some practice. It needn’t always be this way.
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Thanks Mags!!! Good way to start my sober weekend 😬
Negative self talk was a huge thing for me and I do still struggle with it but I have many more tools in the toolbox to manage it. The endless cycle of beating myself up and being quite mean to myself, drinking to get some relief, that caused more anxiety and more reasons to beat myself up further was a hard cycle to break. But it can be done! x
Negative self talk was a huge thing for me and I do still struggle with it but I have many more tools in the toolbox to manage it. The endless cycle of beating myself up and being quite mean to myself, drinking to get some relief, that caused more anxiety and more reasons to beat myself up further was a hard cycle to break. But it can be done! x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2,839
Agree with everything you've said Mags. Can still be difficult when those negative thoughts try to get in, always there waitng in the shadows for that moment of weakness.
I find with mindfulness and reminding myself of where i am now and who I've become in the last year is priceless.
I find with mindfulness and reminding myself of where i am now and who I've become in the last year is priceless.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
One of the best tools that worked for me was using the ABC method where you challenge your core beliefs on anything negative you’re telling yourself. After a while it became second nature to challenge these thoughts and behaviours and couldn’t recommend it enough. x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,898
Thank you Mags ~ Hey everyone! 
OMG am I the master of overthinking, worry and negative self talk....I recently joined a local meditation center which has helped a lot.....
Tomorrow I'm taking myself to a rock music festival where my favorite band is headlining....I've got my vaccinations and even a mask with the band's logo on it
~ I've been to a few shows sober already, but I'll keep you guys with me....just have to get through work today then I can start getting ready! 
OMG am I the master of overthinking, worry and negative self talk....I recently joined a local meditation center which has helped a lot.....Tomorrow I'm taking myself to a rock music festival where my favorite band is headlining....I've got my vaccinations and even a mask with the band's logo on it
~ I've been to a few shows sober already, but I'll keep you guys with me....just have to get through work today then I can start getting ready!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Mags, great post. Challenging negative thoughts is an ongoing thing to keep working on.
Congratulations on shotgun Manta
Hopefully you will sail through the radiation treatments. We’ll all be with you for support, sending lots of love and prayers and healing energy ❤️
That sounds exciting Purps!
I’m in for a sober weekend
Congratulations on shotgun Manta
Hopefully you will sail through the radiation treatments. We’ll all be with you for support, sending lots of love and prayers and healing energy ❤️
That sounds exciting Purps!
I’m in for a sober weekend
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
Purps I think I know who the mystery band is.🙂
Negativity is so rampant. Easy to find.
I like a challenge so I choose to search out the positive side of life.
Definitely not always easy.
Yesterday was a tough day but today will be better.
Negativity is so rampant. Easy to find.
I like a challenge so I choose to search out the positive side of life.
Definitely not always easy.
Yesterday was a tough day but today will be better.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 243
Wrote down so many times in my life alcohol affected things. Things I can remember like ruined a date or wrecked a car. I was rude to someone, missed something fun or made a bad business decision.
Do you think I should delete all that and start fresh? It does not seem to help. But for some reason I like to have it. It does not seem to be helping me quit. But I have pictures so I will still probably look at them and wonder if I ruined something that day by drinking.
Do you think I should delete all that and start fresh? It does not seem to help. But for some reason I like to have it. It does not seem to be helping me quit. But I have pictures so I will still probably look at them and wonder if I ruined something that day by drinking.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I'm IN!
Today's OP made me cry a little. There's a lot behind that. Some of it is mine, some is my boyfriend's. He's going through a really rough time with anxiety and depression, and so many negative thoughts. He's taking a leave of absence from his job and as of right now, he doesn't think he will go back. I'm worried about him, and happy for him at the same time. I've been so concerned about his mental health for a long time now, and he needs some sort of re-set. A few weeks ago things got really bad for him and he kind of had a mental break. I feel pretty helpless here, this is uncharted territory. Although I can understand, because about 11 years ago I had to quit a job that was causing me severe anxiety. But I had a safety net he doesn't have. I'm just going to have to trust that universe has control of this.
I am the queen of negative self-talk. I really need to get a handle on it. It causes me great despair at times. I need to look up the ABC Method Manta mentioned. I have to do something to quiet that voice in my head that tells me I'm not a very good person.
Today's OP made me cry a little. There's a lot behind that. Some of it is mine, some is my boyfriend's. He's going through a really rough time with anxiety and depression, and so many negative thoughts. He's taking a leave of absence from his job and as of right now, he doesn't think he will go back. I'm worried about him, and happy for him at the same time. I've been so concerned about his mental health for a long time now, and he needs some sort of re-set. A few weeks ago things got really bad for him and he kind of had a mental break. I feel pretty helpless here, this is uncharted territory. Although I can understand, because about 11 years ago I had to quit a job that was causing me severe anxiety. But I had a safety net he doesn't have. I'm just going to have to trust that universe has control of this.
I am the queen of negative self-talk. I really need to get a handle on it. It causes me great despair at times. I need to look up the ABC Method Manta mentioned. I have to do something to quiet that voice in my head that tells me I'm not a very good person.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Khorhey, that kind of list has limited usefulness, I think. For me, I do need an occasional reminder of how bad things got, and why I never want them to be that bad again. But if it's causing you a great deal of pain to look at the list, and that leads you back to drinking, it might be better to not have it, or not look at it until you can get a little sobriety under your belt. I know for me, going to treatment and AA meetings and hearing other peoples' stories of how much their lives were negatively affected by alcohol, and how much better things were since they quit was a comfort to me. I needed to know that I was not the only one who did really stupid things and made some really regrettable decisions, and that there was hope that I could move beyond that. I was just like most of the other alcoholics and addicts, and nothing I had done was much worse or different. They rose above, and it helped me to know that and to realize that I could, too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
Marty love: you are indeed a very good person. 
❤️
And I think you are doing a wonderful job of supporting your man. This stuff is very hard.
Khorhey ~ those lists didn't help me either. In fact, adding up all of the terrible things that I did drunk just made me sad and afraid.
I went a different way...I made a list of everything I wanted that I could not, would not ever do if I was drinking. And one by one, I started to do some of these things.
And that empowered me, and made me see how my life could be....it was all in my hands.
❤️And I think you are doing a wonderful job of supporting your man. This stuff is very hard.
Khorhey ~ those lists didn't help me either. In fact, adding up all of the terrible things that I did drunk just made me sad and afraid.
I went a different way...I made a list of everything I wanted that I could not, would not ever do if I was drinking. And one by one, I started to do some of these things.
And that empowered me, and made me see how my life could be....it was all in my hands.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,514
Thanks for the opening post Mags, it is very thought provoking. I am far too negative by nature although I have done things like CBT and mindfulness which help for a while but the negative thoughts tend to come back eventually. I have lots of SMART material I downloaded back in 2006 when the SMART Recovery UK website used to make all their materials available to download for free. I really should read through them again as they are very useful, especially for challenging negative thoughts.
I'm IN for a sober weekend.
I'm IN for a sober weekend.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,095
Great opening post. I too have to curtail my negative thoughts and limit certain media, people etc. Still a bigtime work in progress though.
Suze, I love you idea of listing things you wanted to do and couldn't while drinking--I am focusing on things like that, just informally. I think I should actually write them down.
I'm in for a sober weekend, too!
Suze, I love you idea of listing things you wanted to do and couldn't while drinking--I am focusing on things like that, just informally. I think I should actually write them down.
I'm in for a sober weekend, too!
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