Silver11

Struggling right now

C5C6 disc bulge that’s making life painfully hard at the moment.

Problems with family members’ behaviour.

Missing deadlines at work. Just seems like I’m not in control of anything. Was I ever?



At 46 I feel like I’m always tired/sleep deprived or in pain. I grit my teeth through it all and get back on the same old treadmill every morning. Commute. Work. Deal with problems at work. Commute. Home. Deal with problems at home.



Sorry just venting.

fishkiller

Sometimes it does seem like the world is against us.
Times like these we have to search for the positive.
We always have Something to be grateful for.

Hope the world smiles on you soon

Dee74

Yeah life doesn’t stop throwing the kind of situations we used to drink over.
I think recovery makes us better tho, and that makes the difference.

I hope you can find help for your back pain and for the other issues you mentioned Silver.
This too shall pass is often a great motto.

D

Vik88

You should never feel sorry for venting. Think about something that you love in your life? can it make the pain you have in your life easier? and i'm not meaning alcohol of course.

Vik88

You will never be alone

Silver11

thank you 🙏🏽

Silver11

Thanks everyone. I know this too shall pass..

Alpine

Vent away, it is important and healthy. I hope your neck improves, I know how debilitating that can be. I am sorry you are dealing with that along with everything else. You have my support and thoughts.

Vik88

I meant it SIlver11, we will be here

2muchpain

Really glad that you came here and vented. It could make a big difference. Hope to hear from you soon. John

Anna

Silver, feeling bogged down by demands at work and at home happens sometimes but you can get through this. Just coming here and posting will help you to feel a little bit more able to manage with things. We're here for you.

Sasha4

You have to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.
I am really bad a reaching out for support or help, especially at work.
I don't want to let anyone in my team down.
I want to be a top performer.

The problem with this is I get so jaded, tired and fed up.
A few weeks ago I was posting here about having a meltdown at work and how awful it made me feel.
I just lost it.

My boss spoke to me about it and said, just say if you are struggling and I will cover for you with clients.
I worry that colleagues will think I am not good at my job or not very clever if I can't give my projects 100%.

The issue with this is that instead of saying, I am fed up, I keep going and going until I explode over the tiniest thing.
I make my self look a bit childish, and like I throw tantrums.

Can you say at work that maybe you need some breathing space and you are under pressure?

The family thing, I do get and I think you need to show kindness to yourself here too.
Can you take a step back and say I need some peace and quiet from this drama.
It's not doing me any good and I need an evening off.
Then go and do something for you.
1 evening a week maybe?

Living with chronic pain can make us feel snappy and irritable and like everything is extra effort.
Maybe alerting your work and family to the pain and how it can debilitating for you which then impacts on your family and work.

I was in a meeting a few weeks ago and a man shared about "self soothing".
It struck a chord with me that I need to do that when things are tough.
So now I might go to bed an hour earlier and as I am falling asleep I give myself a silent pep talk - everything will be okay and I am doing well.

I wish you the best

dustyfox

You're right that it will pass, but it's important that you feel it when it is there, and even better that you express it. You most definitely are not alone. Best wishes.

Silver11

I have over 1.5 years sober and only in the last month I’ve been craving every weekend. Monday I’m fine again. But Friday and Saturday afternoon/ evenings I find myself contemplating a drink. This is the 3rd weekend. Same thing. I’m not sure why.

Of course work is stressful, there are some family issues. I don’t live in my home country. Parents are getting old and want me to return. I know I won’t get a good job if I return at my age. But I miss home too. I don’t know what I want anymore.

I was listening to Alan Watts on YouTube yesterday on not knowing what I want. He says it could be either that I already have what I want and therefore there’s nothing more. Or, it could be that I don’t know because I don’t know my true nature. The big ‘who am I’ question.

Either way, I feel stuck. Like I’m at a cross roads to something but not moving in any direction.

Thanks for listening.

Dee74

Whatever the big question is, alcohols definitely not the answer.
Post here as often as you need to for support and advice Silver

D

EarlO

1.5 years sober is amazing! I hope someday I can say that. Sounds like life is throwing you some curve balls right now but you are obviously a strong person to have accomplished the 1.5. Keep being awesome Silver!

fishkiller

I know exactly where you are coming from.
1.5 Years is awesome but this is also the time I got a little discombobulated.
Push through Knowing that alcohol is Not the answer.
I am still working through it at a little over 2 years but it's getting better.
I drank my true self away for decades so it will take a while to find him.
Sober we can do that

sugarbear1

18 months is a difficult time in recovery (in general). Remember you are still healing. Our body cells have serious memories, so your body is mourning the drunk you and getting used to the new sober you ! Now is the time to make sure you are working your program of recovery harder and maybe help a new person get through the first year and a half!