Pekelover2

I’m sorry to post here so much.
I’m so anxious. I invited some friends over tonight. I don’t want to be alone.
They don’t drink. And they have children. I spoke with one of my bfs today. We talked about my upcoming biopsy. And my husband’s possible kidney cancer. I just want to cry. Someone here told me to watch this movie called the Blind Side. I will try that. I’m trying to stay sober. I don’t have plans to get alcohol.
Thank you.

Dee74

Post as much as you need to PL - It would be a tough time for anyone going through what you are - you have lots of things that are not really in your control to fix...

I hope that your husband will get good news, as well as yourself

The only advice I have is to try and stay in the day - all that stuff will unfold regardless of whether you worry or not...enjoy today for what it is..be around friends

D

Anna

Peke, dealing with anxiety is hard, but you can do it. I had to make a decision that drinking was no longer an option, ever. At that point, my mind began to find new and healthy ways to deal with anxiety. I love reading and these are some of the books that really helped me. I wish you and your husband all the best with your health issues:

Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety

Surrendered19

I think it is a great idea to be around some friends tonight Peke.

Pekelover2

Okay Dee-
I’m trying to do just that. All the worrying that I’m doing won’t change the outcome of our situations. They are what they are. I’ve always been a worrier. But I have to stop. I’m trying to smile. I’m really trying. I want to grab my sneakers and go for a run. I know that I have to wait. I’m trying to stay busy.
Thank you so much for the book suggestions, Anna! I truly appreciate them. I will look them up after my friends leave.

Thanks, Surrendered. I feel like it’s better than being alone with my thoughts.

anxiousrock

I'm glad you're posting. Talking about your feelings helps! Keep posting, we're here for you.

Pekelover2

Thanks anxious! Whew. I think I’ve made it through tonight unscathed.

Pekelover2

My AV was really pushing me to go to my car and drive to get some wine. But I’m still here. I made a nice dinner. I didn’t get anything. One minute at a time. Feeling strong. It’s not worth it. Thanks

Zura

Hang in there Peke!! Really fantastic job on not giving in. You won't be sorry you didn't.

Pekelover2

Thanks Zura.
I really appreciate you’re reply.
It’s nice to know that ppl here care so much. I’m really white knuckling it. I feel awful admitting that. Not sure why.

Zura

There can be alot of shame and negative feelings around having an addiction. It's sometimes useful to remember that there's alot of science around the neural pathways we've formed. Not only is it an addictive substance but we're also rewiring these habit pathways. It's not a sign of weakness that it's difficult to do this, but a sign of strength that we ARE doing it. Keep staying the path, it will get easier ❤️

Pekelover2

Thanks, Zura. I appreciate your kind words of support.

Hodd

A lot going on, Peke. No wonder you feel anxious. But inviting non-drinking friends round was great thinking. And as for resisting that AV and not buying that poison, that’s no mean feat. Well done.

You’re setting a great example too. A lot of us, including me, would’ve caved in at one point if we had alcohol in the house. I know it’s not a big barrier to drive to the shops for you know what, but nevertheless it is a barrier. It gives us a few valuable minutes to think and hopefully make the right choice. This bad time will come to an end soon, Peke. You’ll be ready when it does 👍🙂

Purplrks3647

(((Peke))) I'm an anxious worrier too.....I do a lot of guided meditations to help take the edge off....lots of stuff on Youtube....glad you're here!

Dee74

if any group of people understand we do
It can be tempting to try and gain back a little control by drinking.

A non alcoholic might not understand that ‘logic’ but we do.

I really have faith in an outcome where you and your husband are fine and you get back to running. It’s at least as likely as anything else.

This is not as good as your recovery will get

D

Mizz

I think you are doing great, Peke. This tool (forum) is a wonderful support system. For me, the first few weeks have always been the hardest. Rewiring, retraining, reimagining what my time and life will be. I had an immense amount of anxiety when I first quit. So much anxiety that it was suggested for me to go to the doctor. So, I get the anxiety. I only really started to calm down in the last few months.....lol.......

Also, there is a lot happening in your life for you to be anxious about. A LOT! Drinking only compounded the anxiety for me. So, its like I was a frazzled live wire that was intoxicated. I don't have suggestions. I just wanted to say that I understand and I am here to support you. Life, at times, is very HARD. Overwhelmingly hard. You got this, Peke.

advbike

Fantastic job of resisting, Peke. It is your AV that is pulling at you so hard. ANY drinking thoughts are just that, and it's best not to engage with it. I have found that if we recognize it for what it is, and immediately dismiss those thoughts as "not an option", it really helps. AVRT is a great tool for this.

You're doing so great, Peke.

Pekelover2

Thank you all so much.
Hodd it’s kind of you to say that I’m setting an example. (When I feel just the opposite). I feel like I’m weak and bringing others down here. Or worse yet, making them anxious too.

advbike, Mizz and Dee thank you so much.
Purple, my cousin is an advocate of meditation and breathing exercises. Last night, when things got intense I tried to breathe slowly in and out. It helped.

LoveHateWhine

Good job Pekelover2! Mr. LHW and I are increasing our daily meditations as of tomorrow. It does help!

Pekelover2

LHW,
that’s very exciting. I just did a yoga class for 20 minutes tonight. I’m really going to try to do it three times a week. I usually don’t work out unless it’s to do something that burns calories intensely or something like weight training. But I need to incorporate yoga and stretching and breathing exercises into my life. It definitely helps