Mags1

Happy to be Sober, or eager for the next drink?

Giving up the thing that I craved for seemed impossible at the beginning. My body, my brain screamed out for alcohol and I told them No!


Would this now be a life of hell for me? Now I had to face my demons and I wondered, ‘would there be a time when I could hold my head high up and also have a life, an enjoyable life at that?’



I read this paragraph below written by Mary Karr and thought it relevant to me and also perhaps you too?



About a year ago, I was talking to a dear friend who was newly sober, and our conversation shifted something in me. For the first time in my life, I realized that my sobriety isn’t a limitation. Sobriety isn’t even a “have to” – it’s a superpower.



And I realise I found Sobriety is freeing, uplifting, and most of all ‘IT SET ME FREE’,

It was my superpower too!



Once I’d gone through the cravings and the anxieties (for me), I realised I didn’t need or want alcohol anymore. I didn’t want a weekend (or whenever I could squeeze a drink in, to be honest) of drinking, crashed out and repeat...all weekend. I wanted a life!



Stopping drinking set me free.



Remember why you want to stop or have stopped already..... I could write a story of why I did and I think, perhaps you could too?



If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)

Dee74

thank you Mags

D

Free2bme888

Thanks mags. Shotgun 🤓

Free2bme888

I’ll address this tomorrow…….🥱😴. Great OP, Mags. Let’s never forget why we did or are trying to quit. Great things to remember, but not to dwell in regret or shame.

Finally set Free.

I am, finally, Free2bme 😍🥰😘

calmself

Nice post, Mags!

End of day 144 - Today evening I started feeling upset about the lack of progress in my job search despite actively applying and interviewing. Within a short while AV came in and said, " Dude your brain is really hot and you need me. "

I knew it was a lie. Agree my anxiety levels will come down from 7 to 4 or 3 for a couple of hours but from tomorrow early morning it will shoot to 9 and stay that way. Add guilt and shame to this.

Just kept walking and saying to myself to stay positive. Eventually it disappeared after dinner. Now feeling relieved.

Good night from Seattle.

Mags1

Congratulations on shotgun Free2bme

Mags1

Goodnight calmself, you worked through your anxiety and the av well! Good work. Congratulations on 144.

Robbie64

Thanks Mags. I'm IN for a sober weekend!

Great opening post. I'm very happy to be sober. Not only is it freeing and uplifting but it also makes life much easier to manage.

RAL

Great post mags thank you

Mags1

Hiya Robbie and RAL. it’s a blowy wet morning here, hope it’s better where you are.

Robbie64

It's wet and cold! Plus the wind keeps getting up too.

I'm going out later this morning to do some shopping but once I get back home I'll be locking the door and not venturing back outside again today. It's too cold and wet.

Mags1

Same here but the sun has just come out. It’s that gusty wind that can blow you over. Take care out shopping Robbie.

Purplrks3647

Thanks Mags! Hi everyone

Too many reasons for me to stop/stay sober....it was going from ugly to uglier....only I didn't think I would actually enjoy sobriety....I thought it would be so boring! I like being wrong sometimes

Count me in for the weekend

Mags1

Hi Purps

PhoenixJ

Cityboy

I don't think I had much of an expectation or thoughts of what life would be like without alcohol. Just knew that the way life had been for nearly four decades was over. Then came to understand that there would never be a possibility of moderating, trying the open bottle of whiskey at friend's house, or the weekly bogo wine special at the grocery store, drinking beer on the fishing weekends, while watching sports, after work, nothing, never again.

I've always found social situations to be enormously awkward, and drinking seemed to relieve that awkwardness. In the end, I could no longer stand to be the perpetual idiot that I had been for so long when around people. It's still awkward, but usually bearable, and I don't have to be embarrassed about some off color remark I had made.

While still drinking, I felt very alone in my agony most of the time. Reading on SR how so many people felt exactly the same was such a huge thing at first.

Speaking of social anxiety, I better get ready and knock out the two hour drive to my meeting this morning. Won't be drinking on the way back though, carefully considering how to avoid a DUI.

Behappy1

Good morning all, I am only on day 12 but happy to be on the mend instead of heading to further destruction.

MLD51

I'm IN!

Good to see you, Behappy. Day 12 is great! Keep going!

Once I shifted my thinking from "I can never drink again and I HAVE to be sober" to "I don't HAVE to drink again and I WANT to be sober," I felt so free. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Whenever I feel any of that FOMO when my friends are gathering and having parties or social gatherings that include drinking (I'm sometimes there, often not), I remember that for me, those sorts of occasions pretty much invariably led to embarrassment, shame, hangovers, guilt, and anxiety. What exactly would I actually be missing out on? Nothing good, really. A few fleeting minutes of relaxation and camaraderie, to be quickly followed by hours of drunkenness and stupidity. No thanks.

Cityboy said: "I've always found social situations to be enormously awkward, and drinking seemed to relieve that awkwardness. In the end, I could no longer stand to be the perpetual idiot that I had been for so long when around people. It's still awkward, but usually bearable, and I don't have to be embarrassed about some off color remark I had made."

That's very accurate for me. Perpetual idiot – that's what I was. I'd much rather be an occasional idiot due to no fault of alcohol...

Free2bme888

Yes, Marty, exactly. Changing that mind set is essential. If dieters said to themselves “I HAVE to lose weight”, or vegetarians said, “I CANT eat meat”, and alcoholics said, “I CANT drink”, then their lives would be miserable.

I love my new life. I want to be free from the chains of addiction, and it’s much better that way.

Leshar

Thanks, Mags, for another thought provoking post! I like the idea of having a "superpower "!
I just finished "Alcohol Explained" by William Porter which I had seen recommended here. It was worth the read.
I'm in for another sober weekend!