Withdrawing ✌
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Withdrawing ✌
Hey.
I'm trying to stop drinking, but honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. All my attempts to stay sober thus far have failed miserably. I just came out of a really nasty one-month-long relapse where my drinking escalated to a point it had never reached before. It was honestly scary to see how quickly my drinking could spiral like that.
Anyway, what can I do about this now? All I can do is try again and learn from my previous mistakes. Something I have learnt is that I need some kind of communication with others about recovery otherwise I have basically no motivation to continue. That's why I'm here. Hello everyone!
Still withdrawing right now and feel a looming sense of doom like nothing else. Right side of my abdomen is killing me too. How many times am I going to do this to myself before I finally get the message? Haha...
I'm trying to stop drinking, but honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. All my attempts to stay sober thus far have failed miserably. I just came out of a really nasty one-month-long relapse where my drinking escalated to a point it had never reached before. It was honestly scary to see how quickly my drinking could spiral like that.
Anyway, what can I do about this now? All I can do is try again and learn from my previous mistakes. Something I have learnt is that I need some kind of communication with others about recovery otherwise I have basically no motivation to continue. That's why I'm here. Hello everyone!
Still withdrawing right now and feel a looming sense of doom like nothing else. Right side of my abdomen is killing me too. How many times am I going to do this to myself before I finally get the message? Haha...
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Welcome avoidant -
Try and make a plan - if its too hard to think about 'forever' just plan not to drink today -
Then do it again -
You will find there is much support here and people, well all of us, who have struggled with quitting. So great advice also.
Try and make a plan - if its too hard to think about 'forever' just plan not to drink today -
Then do it again -
You will find there is much support here and people, well all of us, who have struggled with quitting. So great advice also.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
I had to answer that question for myself, avoidant.
I came to know that alcohol would destroy me. Physically and mentally. I suffered mainly the mental. I could no longer avoid it, avoidant. I didn't want to live like that any longer. Pathetic.
I've been stopped now for 2 years, and it's so much better. Drinking now appears to me as a useless pursuit. The way I drink has never been conducive to a social life. It pillaged life at every turn.
Had to get a life
And it's good fun trying.
I came to know that alcohol would destroy me. Physically and mentally. I suffered mainly the mental. I could no longer avoid it, avoidant. I didn't want to live like that any longer. Pathetic.
I've been stopped now for 2 years, and it's so much better. Drinking now appears to me as a useless pursuit. The way I drink has never been conducive to a social life. It pillaged life at every turn.
Had to get a life
And it's good fun trying.Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by dustyfox 
Welcome avoidant -
Try and make a plan - if its too hard to think about 'forever' just plan not to drink today -
Then do it again -
You will find there is much support here and people, well all of us, who have struggled with quitting. So great advice also.
Try and make a plan - if its too hard to think about 'forever' just plan not to drink today -
Then do it again -
You will find there is much support here and people, well all of us, who have struggled with quitting. So great advice also.
I have been using SMART, but I think the lack of social support and accountability is an issue for me. Thinking of giving something else a go.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,516
Welcome to SoberRecovery avoidant. It's not easy to stop and stay stopped but there's many posters here at SR who have done just that. One way to help achieve that is to stick around and read and post. Good luck! If the pain in your abdomen continues for more than a few days or gets worse could you get it checked out?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Steely
I had to answer that question for myself, avoidant.
I came to know that alcohol would destroy me. Both physically and mentally. I could no longer avoid it, avoidant. I didn't want to live like that any longer. Pathetic.
I've been stopped now for 2 years, and it's so much better. Drinking now appears to me as a useless pursuit. The way I drink has never been conducive to a social life. It pillaged life at every turn.
Had to get a life And it's good fun trying.
I came to know that alcohol would destroy me. Both physically and mentally. I could no longer avoid it, avoidant. I didn't want to live like that any longer. Pathetic.
I've been stopped now for 2 years, and it's so much better. Drinking now appears to me as a useless pursuit. The way I drink has never been conducive to a social life. It pillaged life at every turn.
Had to get a life
And it's good fun trying. That's why I want to quit to, I can see what alcohol has done to my life so far and I can the writing on the wall for the future.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Robbie64
Welcome to SoberRecovery avoidant. It's not easy to stop and stay stopped but there's many posters here at SR who have done just that. One way to help achieve that is to stick around and read and post. Good luck! If the pain in your abdomen continues for more than a few days or gets worse could you get it checked out?
Yes, I will do just that if I become concerned.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,944
Hi avoidant, the symptoms you describe such as feeling of doom and general aches and pains are normal I’m afraid. If you need to communicate to get motivated to quit, go for it. It really is a case of willpower and one day at a time at first. It feels totally unnatural to not drink, and there’s no way to sugar coat that. You have to do something (safe/legal) to get you through those first days and take it from there. Any booze in the house, pour it down the sink. I did a thread yesterday about doing this after 3 years of being sober. The risk of drinking due to alcohol in the house is odds on.
Alcohol’s clearly got you by the b**** like it had with most of us. I think you’ve already concluded you have to quit 100%. There’s no middle ground. If any of us reading tried to moderate our drinking, our drinking would also spiral out of control within months. Quitting is the only way, but surprisingly once you hit that mindset, it’s relatively easy.
The right hand side pain is also normal, but it’s very worthwhile to speak to your GP and fess up about your drinking. They won’t judge or tell you off, and they’ll sort some blood tests to check your liver is OK.
I can’t promise it’ll be an easy few months, but it gets easier, and you’ve already made a big step by admitting you’ve got a problem.
Alcohol’s clearly got you by the b**** like it had with most of us. I think you’ve already concluded you have to quit 100%. There’s no middle ground. If any of us reading tried to moderate our drinking, our drinking would also spiral out of control within months. Quitting is the only way, but surprisingly once you hit that mindset, it’s relatively easy.
The right hand side pain is also normal, but it’s very worthwhile to speak to your GP and fess up about your drinking. They won’t judge or tell you off, and they’ll sort some blood tests to check your liver is OK.
I can’t promise it’ll be an easy few months, but it gets easier, and you’ve already made a big step by admitting you’ve got a problem.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by avoidant
Something I have learnt is that I need some kind of communication with others about recovery otherwise I have basically no motivation to continue. That's why I'm here. Hello everyone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Hodd
Hi avoidant, the symptoms you describe such as feeling of doom and general aches and pains are normal I’m afraid. If you need to communicate to get motivated to quit, go for it. It really is a case of willpower and one day at a time at first. It feels totally unnatural to not drink, and there’s no way to sugar coat that. You have to do something (safe/legal) to get you through those first days and take it from there. Any booze in the house, pour it down the sink. I did a thread yesterday about doing this after 3 years of being sober. The risk of drinking due to alcohol in the house is odds on.
Alcohol’s clearly got you by the b**** like it had with most of us. I think you’ve already concluded you have to quit 100%. There’s no middle ground. If any of us reading tried to moderate our drinking, our drinking would also spiral out of control within months. Quitting is the only way, but surprisingly once you hit that mindset, it’s relatively easy.
The right hand side pain is also normal, but it’s very worthwhile to speak to your GP and fess up about your drinking. They won’t judge or tell you off, and they’ll sort some blood tests to check your liver is OK.
I can’t promise it’ll be an easy few months, but it gets easier, and you’ve already made a big step by admitting you’ve got a problem.
Alcohol’s clearly got you by the b**** like it had with most of us. I think you’ve already concluded you have to quit 100%. There’s no middle ground. If any of us reading tried to moderate our drinking, our drinking would also spiral out of control within months. Quitting is the only way, but surprisingly once you hit that mindset, it’s relatively easy.
The right hand side pain is also normal, but it’s very worthwhile to speak to your GP and fess up about your drinking. They won’t judge or tell you off, and they’ll sort some blood tests to check your liver is OK.
I can’t promise it’ll be an easy few months, but it gets easier, and you’ve already made a big step by admitting you’ve got a problem.
Yep, reached the conclusion that I need to quit a while ago. I just need to find a realistic way to make that work in the long-term. It's going to be a long journey for sure...
Thank you for your support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Tetrax
Hello! Yeah I'm the same way. Posting regularly here can be enough. I throw in some AA meetings too but not as many as I probably should. Everyone's different in recovery but everyone has the same goal
I haven't been to any AA meetings before (I have been using SMART) but I have been thinking of giving it a shot.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Welcome Avoidant, you've come to a great place for support. We do understand how hard this is. Stay focused, try to come up with a plan that works for you, and keep reading and posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Anna
Welcome Avoidant, you've come to a great place for support. We do understand how hard this is. Stay focused, try to come up with a plan that works for you, and keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
I started off smoking pot at 9 years old. I tried a couple of shots of this and that here and there but it wasn't until I was 14 that I discovered the real magic of alcohol. It let me feel like I could fit in with people. It was comfort, courage, or just a way to unwind after a normal day. A prerequisite for a night out. I never even considered a life without it until right before I turned 42.
I get a great deal of something similar to the ease and comfort of alcohol from exercise. The brain chemicals slowly give me a buzz a little bit at a time after a workout. Its a little bit of a buzz without the compulsion to keep increasing the high.
Mentally I was real mess before I started drinking alcoholically. It may be a coincidence but one thing I noticed was right around the time I said the heck with this God idea, my life became a real mess.
Not everyone is spiritual in recovery but I think it helps. I don't necessarily mean believing in God in the traditional church way but sort of growing spiritually. If not the Christian Bible or something mainstream maybe explore some philosophical Asian ideas. Taosim or Buddhist ideas. Not run out and become a monk or anything but read up on the way some of these people look at life.
What I needed and will always need is a way to accept life on life's term.
I get a great deal of something similar to the ease and comfort of alcohol from exercise. The brain chemicals slowly give me a buzz a little bit at a time after a workout. Its a little bit of a buzz without the compulsion to keep increasing the high.
Mentally I was real mess before I started drinking alcoholically. It may be a coincidence but one thing I noticed was right around the time I said the heck with this God idea, my life became a real mess.
Not everyone is spiritual in recovery but I think it helps. I don't necessarily mean believing in God in the traditional church way but sort of growing spiritually. If not the Christian Bible or something mainstream maybe explore some philosophical Asian ideas. Taosim or Buddhist ideas. Not run out and become a monk or anything but read up on the way some of these people look at life.
What I needed and will always need is a way to accept life on life's term.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by RecklessDrunk
I started off smoking pot at 9 years old. I tried a couple of shots of this and that here and there but it wasn't until I was 14 that I discovered the real magic of alcohol. It let me feel like I could fit in with people. It was comfort, courage, or just a way to unwind after a normal day. A prerequisite for a night out. I never even considered a life without it until right before I turned 42.
I get a great deal of something similar to the ease and comfort of alcohol from exercise. The brain chemicals slowly give me a buzz a little bit at a time after a workout. Its a little bit of a buzz without the compulsion to keep increasing the high.
Mentally I was real mess before I started drinking alcoholically. It may be a coincidence but one thing I noticed was right around the time I said the heck with this God idea, my life became a real mess.
Not everyone is spiritual in recovery but I think it helps. I don't necessarily mean believing in God in the traditional church way but sort of growing spiritually. If not the Christian Bible or something mainstream maybe explore some philosophical Asian ideas. Taosim or Buddhist ideas. Not run out and become a monk or anything but read up on the way some of these people look at life.
What I needed and will always need is a way to accept life on life's term.
I get a great deal of something similar to the ease and comfort of alcohol from exercise. The brain chemicals slowly give me a buzz a little bit at a time after a workout. Its a little bit of a buzz without the compulsion to keep increasing the high.
Mentally I was real mess before I started drinking alcoholically. It may be a coincidence but one thing I noticed was right around the time I said the heck with this God idea, my life became a real mess.
Not everyone is spiritual in recovery but I think it helps. I don't necessarily mean believing in God in the traditional church way but sort of growing spiritually. If not the Christian Bible or something mainstream maybe explore some philosophical Asian ideas. Taosim or Buddhist ideas. Not run out and become a monk or anything but read up on the way some of these people look at life.
What I needed and will always need is a way to accept life on life's term.
I am open to exploring my faith more. I grew up Christian and I do believe my faith back then was a force for good in my life. I'll think about it. Thank you!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi avoidant - I'm so glad you found us. This is a wonderful place for encouragement & friendship.
I nearly let it destroy me. I drank 30 yrs. When I came here I couldn't imagine how a forum could help - but here I am, 14 yrs. sober. I felt so relieved when I could talk about my drinking honestly - with people who actually understood. No one else in my life got it. Even now I have people say, 'Oh, you can just have one'. Um - no, I can't. It was when I finally realized there would never be 'just one' that I was able to face the truth & stop trying to be a social drinker.
Happy to have you with us!
I nearly let it destroy me. I drank 30 yrs. When I came here I couldn't imagine how a forum could help - but here I am, 14 yrs. sober. I felt so relieved when I could talk about my drinking honestly - with people who actually understood. No one else in my life got it. Even now I have people say, 'Oh, you can just have one'. Um - no, I can't. It was when I finally realized there would never be 'just one' that I was able to face the truth & stop trying to be a social drinker.
Happy to have you with us!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Hi avoidant - I'm so glad you found us. This is a wonderful place for encouragement & friendship.
I nearly let it destroy me. I drank 30 yrs. When I came here I couldn't imagine how a forum could help - but here I am, 14 yrs. sober. I felt so relieved when I could talk about my drinking honestly - with people who actually understood. No one else in my life got it. Even now I have people say, 'Oh, you can just have one'. Um - no, I can't. It was when I finally realized there would never be 'just one' that I was able to face the truth & stop trying to be a social drinker.
Happy to have you with us!
I nearly let it destroy me. I drank 30 yrs. When I came here I couldn't imagine how a forum could help - but here I am, 14 yrs. sober. I felt so relieved when I could talk about my drinking honestly - with people who actually understood. No one else in my life got it. Even now I have people say, 'Oh, you can just have one'. Um - no, I can't. It was when I finally realized there would never be 'just one' that I was able to face the truth & stop trying to be a social drinker.
Happy to have you with us!
14 years! Wow! That's an incredible achievement. Congratulations. It is nice to meet you all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by avoidant
I'm trying to stop drinking, but honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. All my attempts to stay sober thus far have failed miserably.
That was a big leap for me from a desire to just get better to actually quitting for good. It wasn't that hard because I was ready after years of failure. And it made the difference in my case. Of course you have to get through a week or two of cravings to get to a point where cravings become at least manageable. This where the forever plan kicks in. You no longer have to drink, but the trick is not taking a drink, thinking you are Godzilla and can get away with it.
Originally Posted by avoidant
I just came out of a really nasty one-month-long relapse where my drinking escalated to a point it had never reached before. It was honestly scary to see how quickly my drinking could spiral like that.
Originally Posted by avoidant
Anyway, what can I do about this now? All I can do is try again and learn from my previous mistakes. Something I have learnt is that I need some kind of communication with others about recovery otherwise I have basically no motivation to continue. That's why I'm here. Hello everyone!
Originally Posted by avoidant
Still withdrawing right now and feel a looming sense of doom like nothing else.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Welcome avoidant. You definitely came to the right place to get sober. The support here is amazing.
Starting out, make sure to drink lots of water and eat some nutritious foods. Try to get outside for some fresh air and walks, Later on we will ramp that up a bit.
The first week is the physical withdrawals, up to maybe 10 days max, then you will begin to feel physically better, a process that will continue for quite some time if you don't drink.
As you start to feel better, especially after 3-4 weeks, that's when the Addictive Voice (AV) begins to talk to us, suggesting that a "couple drinks" wouldn't hurt. Don't fall for it, haha - we all know where that will lead! But seriously, it is the fight with the AV that can go on for quite awhile. It's no intelligent thing - simply thoughts generated by the urge for the buzz coming from our primitive brain. But it's persistent. Just like when we're hungry or want sex, a thought pops into our head. So never engage with it! I found it critical to immediately dismiss drinking thoughts.
As others said - read, post, and learn as much as you can. An excellent book is Alcohol Explained, by William Morrison. We also have small groups that we call classes, that provide closer support since everyone is from the same month. Here's a link to the April class, if you want to pop in and say hi:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html
Starting out, make sure to drink lots of water and eat some nutritious foods. Try to get outside for some fresh air and walks, Later on we will ramp that up a bit.
The first week is the physical withdrawals, up to maybe 10 days max, then you will begin to feel physically better, a process that will continue for quite some time if you don't drink.
As you start to feel better, especially after 3-4 weeks, that's when the Addictive Voice (AV) begins to talk to us, suggesting that a "couple drinks" wouldn't hurt. Don't fall for it, haha - we all know where that will lead! But seriously, it is the fight with the AV that can go on for quite awhile. It's no intelligent thing - simply thoughts generated by the urge for the buzz coming from our primitive brain. But it's persistent. Just like when we're hungry or want sex, a thought pops into our head. So never engage with it! I found it critical to immediately dismiss drinking thoughts.
As others said - read, post, and learn as much as you can. An excellent book is Alcohol Explained, by William Morrison. We also have small groups that we call classes, that provide closer support since everyone is from the same month. Here's a link to the April class, if you want to pop in and say hi:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html
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