Withdrawing ✌
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Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by advbike 
Welcome avoidant. You definitely came to the right place to get sober. The support here is amazing.
Starting out, make sure to drink lots of water and eat some nutritious foods. Try to get outside for some fresh air and walks, Later on we will ramp that up a bit.
The first week is the physical withdrawals, up to maybe 10 days max, then you will begin to feel physically better, a process that will continue for quite some time if you don't drink.
As you start to feel better, especially after 3-4 weeks, that's when the Addictive Voice (AV) begins to talk to us, suggesting that a "couple drinks" wouldn't hurt. Don't fall for it, haha - we all know where that will lead! But seriously, it is the fight with the AV that can go on for quite awhile. It's no intelligent thing - simply thoughts generated by the urge for the buzz coming from our primitive brain. But it's persistent. Just like when we're hungry or want sex, a thought pops into our head. So never engage with it! I found it critical to immediately dismiss drinking thoughts.
As others said - read, post, and learn as much as you can. An excellent book is Alcohol Explained, by William Morrison. We also have small groups that we call classes, that provide closer support since everyone is from the same month. Here's a link to the April class, if you want to pop in and say hi:
Starting out, make sure to drink lots of water and eat some nutritious foods. Try to get outside for some fresh air and walks, Later on we will ramp that up a bit.
The first week is the physical withdrawals, up to maybe 10 days max, then you will begin to feel physically better, a process that will continue for quite some time if you don't drink.
As you start to feel better, especially after 3-4 weeks, that's when the Addictive Voice (AV) begins to talk to us, suggesting that a "couple drinks" wouldn't hurt. Don't fall for it, haha - we all know where that will lead! But seriously, it is the fight with the AV that can go on for quite awhile. It's no intelligent thing - simply thoughts generated by the urge for the buzz coming from our primitive brain. But it's persistent. Just like when we're hungry or want sex, a thought pops into our head. So never engage with it! I found it critical to immediately dismiss drinking thoughts.
As others said - read, post, and learn as much as you can. An excellent book is Alcohol Explained, by William Morrison. We also have small groups that we call classes, that provide closer support since everyone is from the same month. Here's a link to the April class, if you want to pop in and say hi:
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Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
I don't really know how this site works. Are you supposed to post updates on your own thread? Well, I'm going to do that anyway.
I'm still sober. I think it has been nearly 2 weeks now? I went on a short holiday and that kept me occupied for a while, but now I'm back home urges are popping back up again. Dad was hospitalized for sepsis but got discharged, as the hospital admitted, far earlier than he should've because the NHS is so overrun this Easter. They wanted to keep him for 2 extra weeks past today. The whole thing is pissing me off and now I have to care for my dad at home, which I don't think I have the ability to do given his current condition and my total lack of medical knowledge. I don't know. I'm stressed.
I'm still sober. I think it has been nearly 2 weeks now? I went on a short holiday and that kept me occupied for a while, but now I'm back home urges are popping back up again. Dad was hospitalized for sepsis but got discharged, as the hospital admitted, far earlier than he should've because the NHS is so overrun this Easter. They wanted to keep him for 2 extra weeks past today. The whole thing is pissing me off and now I have to care for my dad at home, which I don't think I have the ability to do given his current condition and my total lack of medical knowledge. I don't know. I'm stressed.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Avoidant, you can continue to post on this thread or start a new one, which feels best for you.
Good for you for getting through 2 weeks of sobriety.
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, and it does sound like a stressful situation. Can you call your Dad's doctor to ask for advice if you're unsure?
Good for you for getting through 2 weeks of sobriety.
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, and it does sound like a stressful situation. Can you call your Dad's doctor to ask for advice if you're unsure?
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,942
Blimey, avoidant, that’s a huge responsibility. It resonates with me as I was within an inch of relapsing when my mum was playing up. You’re going to need help. I, well my brothers and I, had go get social services and all sorts involved as old people can become unreasonable. Admittedly this was pre-covid, but you need to ask the hospital, the GP, etc., for support.
Certainly keep posting here if you want for support with your ongoing sobriety - well done on 2 weeks. Remember that however tired of wound up you get, don’t be tempted by a little drink as a reward. That’s easier said than done, but that’ll reset all your good work.
All the best for now.
Certainly keep posting here if you want for support with your ongoing sobriety - well done on 2 weeks. Remember that however tired of wound up you get, don’t be tempted by a little drink as a reward. That’s easier said than done, but that’ll reset all your good work.
All the best for now.
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Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Hodd
Blimey, avoidant, that’s a huge responsibility. It resonates with me as I was within an inch of relapsing when my mum was playing up. You’re going to need help. I, well my brothers and I, had go get social services and all sorts involved as old people can become unreasonable. Admittedly this was pre-covid, but you need to ask the hospital, the GP, etc., for support.
Certainly keep posting here if you want for support with your ongoing sobriety - well done on 2 weeks. Remember that however tired of wound up you get, don’t be tempted by a little drink as a reward. That’s easier said than done, but that’ll reset all your good work.
All the best for now.
Certainly keep posting here if you want for support with your ongoing sobriety - well done on 2 weeks. Remember that however tired of wound up you get, don’t be tempted by a little drink as a reward. That’s easier said than done, but that’ll reset all your good work.
All the best for now.
It really helps to be able to post somewhere to get support related to my drinking.Yeah, it's a huge pain in the bum honestly. You really have to fight for your healthcare when dealing with the NHS otherwise all you'll get is the absolute bare minimum. My mum and I going to talk to my Dad's consultant in the next coming days to see what can be done. Hope all goes better...
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
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Congratulations on 2 weeks avoidant. Agree with Hodd about getting backup from social services, it's a big weight you're carrying, but taking a drink will only make it heavier. 
Have similar problems with my daughter who has mental health condition. The only thing I can say with any confidence is that I am so glad I have not picked up as a means to cope. So grateful for it avoidant, I really hope you do same. You'll get through it without a drink, but not with one.
Have similar problems with my daughter who has mental health condition. The only thing I can say with any confidence is that I am so glad I have not picked up as a means to cope. So grateful for it avoidant, I really hope you do same. You'll get through it without a drink, but not with one.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
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2 weeks is wonderful, avoidant. We know how hard it is in those early days.
I'm sorry for all you're going through with your father. It's best to have a clear head to deal with it, and you're doing great.
Please post any tiime about what's happening - we're here to listen & help if we can.
I'm sorry for all you're going through with your father. It's best to have a clear head to deal with it, and you're doing great.
Please post any tiime about what's happening - we're here to listen & help if we can.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,942
How’s it going today, avo?
This won’t help you, but I’m thinking aloud. My parents went in 2019 and 2020, and whilst I’m still sad about this (although they were mid 80s), I’m sure glad they missed out on the Covid era. They’d have fared badly and got uncontrollably stressed, and the reduced access to health care would’ve made life unbearable. All ex-drinkers have a breaking point in my opinion, and that would’ve been mine.
All I can say, avo, is think of yourself too. Take plenty of time out and get a break away every few weeks.
This won’t help you, but I’m thinking aloud. My parents went in 2019 and 2020, and whilst I’m still sad about this (although they were mid 80s), I’m sure glad they missed out on the Covid era. They’d have fared badly and got uncontrollably stressed, and the reduced access to health care would’ve made life unbearable. All ex-drinkers have a breaking point in my opinion, and that would’ve been mine.
All I can say, avo, is think of yourself too. Take plenty of time out and get a break away every few weeks.
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Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Hodd
How’s it going today, avo?
This won’t help you, but I’m thinking aloud. My parents went in 2019 and 2020, and whilst I’m still sad about this (although they were mid 80s), I’m sure glad they missed out on the Covid era. They’d have fared badly and got uncontrollably stressed, and the reduced access to health care would’ve made life unbearable. All ex-drinkers have a breaking point in my opinion, and that would’ve been mine.
All I can say, avo, is think of yourself too. Take plenty of time out and get a break away every few weeks.
This won’t help you, but I’m thinking aloud. My parents went in 2019 and 2020, and whilst I’m still sad about this (although they were mid 80s), I’m sure glad they missed out on the Covid era. They’d have fared badly and got uncontrollably stressed, and the reduced access to health care would’ve made life unbearable. All ex-drinkers have a breaking point in my opinion, and that would’ve been mine.
All I can say, avo, is think of yourself too. Take plenty of time out and get a break away every few weeks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. The pandemic was truly rough for all the elderly and older people in my life. Very painful to watch so I understand where you're coming from.
Thank you for the kind words.
I do need to step up my self-care, but I must admit I have little motivation. I'm actually going back to university in a few days so I will be able to get away from the madness at home for a little while which, while it is exam season, I think may be good for me in the end. 
Take care Hodd x
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Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
*Sigh* I'm reaching a point in early sobriety which at many times before I have faltered. Around week 3, I start to physically feel a lot better while, at the same time, the realities of staying entirely sober start to pile up in my mind.
The worst thing about not drinking is that I have to sit with anxious feelings which is something that I am not adept at. I get stuck in these cycles of avoiding all kinds of anxiety-inducing stimuli which I really have trouble breaking out of. I know I need a solution to this if I am going to stay sober, but honestly, I don't have the faintest of clues as to how to change. This pattern of behavior is so ingrained in me (while sober) that it honestly makes me feel quite hopeless a lot of time.
Just a thought dump really. No solutions.
The worst thing about not drinking is that I have to sit with anxious feelings which is something that I am not adept at. I get stuck in these cycles of avoiding all kinds of anxiety-inducing stimuli which I really have trouble breaking out of. I know I need a solution to this if I am going to stay sober, but honestly, I don't have the faintest of clues as to how to change. This pattern of behavior is so ingrained in me (while sober) that it honestly makes me feel quite hopeless a lot of time.
Just a thought dump really. No solutions.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by avoidant
*Sigh* I'm reaching a point in early sobriety which at many times before I have faltered. Around week 3, I start to physically feel a lot better while, at the same time, the realities of staying entirely sober start to pile up in my mind.
The worst thing about not drinking is that I have to sit with anxious feelings which is something that I am not adept at. I get stuck in these cycles of avoiding all kinds of anxiety-inducing stimuli which I really have trouble breaking out of. I know I need a solution to this if I am going to stay sober, but honestly, I don't have the faintest of clues as to how to change. This pattern of behavior is so ingrained in me (while sober) that it honestly makes me feel quite hopeless a lot of time.
Just a thought dump really. No solutions.
The worst thing about not drinking is that I have to sit with anxious feelings which is something that I am not adept at. I get stuck in these cycles of avoiding all kinds of anxiety-inducing stimuli which I really have trouble breaking out of. I know I need a solution to this if I am going to stay sober, but honestly, I don't have the faintest of clues as to how to change. This pattern of behavior is so ingrained in me (while sober) that it honestly makes me feel quite hopeless a lot of time.
Just a thought dump really. No solutions.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,942
Not downplaying the fact you’ve got a couple of issues right now, avo, but it’s a cruel irony that drinkers get stressed because … wait for it … they “need” a drink. People who don’t ever drink, e.g. for religious reasons, get stressed too, but they don’t use alcohol to relax. I mentioned my parents dying, which was a drawn out process, but luckily I’d quit alcohol before then and didn’t need alcohol to calm be down.
It’s the alcohol that’s making you stressed.
It’s the alcohol that’s making you stressed.
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Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 73
Late welcome to you Avoidant. Have you talked to a doctor about your anxiety? They usually have some medical help they can prescribe if you are up to it, though as with everything there are pros and cons to it. Seeking therapy with a professional specialized with addiction and dual diagnoses can help as well. These therapists approach addiction as a co condition with other things that need to be addressed such as anxiety and depression. Not telling you what your best course should be but from my personal experience, I was on an SSRI for most of the first year of my recovery before I felt I had built up enough non prescription resources and tools to deal with depression and anxiety.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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When I got sober I had no capacity to deal with uncomfortable feelings at all…but it was discomfort not agony, so I distracted myself with chores exercise hobbies and other things …sometimes I simply sat with those feelings and I got through
each time I did, I got better and better at dealing with those kinds of feelings and anxieties. Don’t give up now
D
each time I did, I got better and better at dealing with those kinds of feelings and anxieties. Don’t give up now
D
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Join Date: Apr 2022
Posts: 28
Thank you everyone for your kind and helpful comments. I really appreciate it.
I was considering abandoning this thread and account, but I'm just going to be honest. I did relapse a couple of days ago. I really need to keep trying different things to get myself past the one-month mark because week 3 always trips me up. I'm not making excuses here, I just want to analyze what happened to see if I can do better next time. I think factors that contributed this time were going back to university during week 3 (where I live alone) and a stressful family environment. Obviously, I can't control my family's situation, but I could've used healthier coping mechanisms to deal with it. I also REALLY need to not spend extended periods of time alone in my room at uni because without fail I end up drinking. I won't go into details here, but I'm plotting some things to do that'll keep me out of the house.
Thank you guys
I was considering abandoning this thread and account, but I'm just going to be honest. I did relapse a couple of days ago. I really need to keep trying different things to get myself past the one-month mark because week 3 always trips me up. I'm not making excuses here, I just want to analyze what happened to see if I can do better next time. I think factors that contributed this time were going back to university during week 3 (where I live alone) and a stressful family environment. Obviously, I can't control my family's situation, but I could've used healthier coping mechanisms to deal with it. I also REALLY need to not spend extended periods of time alone in my room at uni because without fail I end up drinking. I won't go into details here, but I'm plotting some things to do that'll keep me out of the house.
Thank you guys
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,942
Thanks, avo. To be fair, you’ve picked a rough time to quit. A lot of us got to three weeks and relapsed a few times. Yes, you need to plan what happens next, but don’t stress about it. Keep posting, please. We might’ve nagged you (in a nice way) not to drink last time We’ll be here.
We’ll be here.
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