I feel like I've been walking around dead for 24 years
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,788
I feel like I've been walking around dead for 24 years
And no ones had the decency to cremate me.
Got arrested yesterday. Up in court soon. I don't really care. Nothing seems to matter.
I'll probably get drunk on listerine later. :/
Got arrested yesterday. Up in court soon. I don't really care. Nothing seems to matter.
I'll probably get drunk on listerine later. :/
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Originally Posted by Steely 
Stop drinking alcohol, stop swallowering listerine, and you will start to care again.
I don't want to kill myself because then the gangstalkers win. But all my loved ones think I'm "psychotic". I'm not psychotic. All of it is real.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I’m sorry that you don’t see any other path but drinking FF.
The fact that we’ve all supported you, and all cared for your welfare, for so long should mean something.
You’re not the monster you tell yourself you are. None of us are, or were.
I really hope you get the moment of clarity where you realise it’s up to you to save yourself.
D
The fact that we’ve all supported you, and all cared for your welfare, for so long should mean something.
You’re not the monster you tell yourself you are. None of us are, or were.
I really hope you get the moment of clarity where you realise it’s up to you to save yourself.
D
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
Sorry to read this ff.
Your meds will start to work when you stop drinking. I've been on meds when drinking and they don't really work.
As Dee says we care for you. Your parents and family care. They just probably dont know what they can do to help.
I hope you get your second vac so you can get into rehab
Your meds will start to work when you stop drinking. I've been on meds when drinking and they don't really work.
As Dee says we care for you. Your parents and family care. They just probably dont know what they can do to help.
I hope you get your second vac so you can get into rehab
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by RAL
Sorry to read this ff.
Your meds will start to work when you stop drinking. I've been on meds when drinking and they don't really work.
As Dee says we care for you. Your parents and family care. They just probably dont know what they can do to help.
I hope you get your second vac so you can get into rehab
Your meds will start to work when you stop drinking. I've been on meds when drinking and they don't really work.
As Dee says we care for you. Your parents and family care. They just probably dont know what they can do to help.
I hope you get your second vac so you can get into rehab
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
A couple of Big Book quotes that may be helpful:
Page 8: No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master. Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.
Page 50: Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements.
Page 8: No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master. Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.
Page 50: Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements.
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Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,470
People care and your SR family is here for you. If you are taking medication you need to stop drinking because it will either defeat the purpose of the medication or make your symptoms worse, I speak from experience. Yes..it is going to be very hard to stop but you need to.
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Don't be ashamed FF. You've got some sorting out to do, no doubt, but so do we all. So many people struggle with mental illness and other of life's challenges. I know I do. The only way to have a shot at getting your arms around those challenges and finding solutions is sober. My guess is that you will always need to be attentive to your mental illness, and you can do that and live a grand life. But only if you are sober my friend. Please don't drink any Listerine. Or any other alcohol in any of its forms.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Originally Posted by freedomfries
Alcohol completely out of my system now. Feel very foolish.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,591
It feels awful to feel this way Freedom, foolish, and all the rest, after doing exactly what we said we wouldn't do.
Do what you say you want to do Freedom. Stop, cease, and desist the alcohol. Your breath is ok.
Don't stress about rehab Freedom. I think it would be good, but you don't have to go. Much better than gaol though. You'll be surprised how much other 'addicts' understand.
I hope you are not drinking today Freedom. I hope you have told your doctor about how you feel. Told anyone.
Sometimes you can just stop. Which continues to amaze me.
Do what you say you want to do Freedom. Stop, cease, and desist the alcohol. Your breath is ok.
Don't stress about rehab Freedom. I think it would be good, but you don't have to go. Much better than gaol though. You'll be surprised how much other 'addicts' understand.
I hope you are not drinking today Freedom. I hope you have told your doctor about how you feel. Told anyone.
Sometimes you can just stop. Which continues to amaze me.
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