Quitorelse

I try to stop drinking but I fail and that gives the Alcoholic Voice more ammunition to beat me with! I hate that I can't stop and I keep failing!
The failing is worse than the drinking! I feel hopeless and embarrassed!

Surrendered19

It is a vicious unrelenting cycle Quitorelse. It sucks. The last several years I drank I felt like you are feeling every single day.

I look back 2 years in and it all still baffles me.

I know it seems so obvious, but the ONLY way to ever stop feeling like that and get out of that cycle is to stop drinking for good. Remove it as a response for any situation or any feeling.

You can do this Quitorelse. I did which means anyone can.

RAL

You can stop drinking. We all can. Maybe say you are going to stop rather than just trying to stop. First step get rid of any I the house and dont buy any. Get day 1 in.

Maybe join March class?

aasharon90

Would you be willing to enter recovery thru a
rehab facility where folks can teach you about
addiction and a program of recovery?

There are many, including myself that needed
help because I had tried too many times to stay
stopped and failed. However, once I entered
rehab via a family intervention, i stayed for 28
days in a structured environment where the
temptation to reach for alcohol wasnt there and
therefore could allow the poisons and fog to leave
my mind and body.

That allowed me to become openminded to let
those capable of teaching me and to listen to important
information to help me learn how to remain sober one
day at a time.

Because I wanted to be sober more than anything and
to get off the merry go round of insanity that comes with
addiction, i took what they taught me and held on tight
to my recovery lifelines each day to achieve continuous
sobriety for a 31 yrs.

This approach for myself saved my life and continues
to do so each and everyday. It's a gift and blessing worth
working and fighting for.

You can begin your own journey in recovery and leave
addiction in the rearview mirror today.

Hodd

You’re not a failure. That’s being unfair on yourself.

Saying that, Dee asked yesterday what you’re doing to quit. It doesn’t come naturally and takes a big effort on your part. It could be little things to start, things that sound a bit silly like brushing your teeth so you don’t feel like drinking, leaving your credit cards and cash at work so you can’t buy booze - these are the sort of crazy things I did in early days to cut down and eventually quit. How do you think I felt wanting a drink but realising i had no way to pay? It was grim but easier the next day and the next.

Tell us what sort of things you’re trying. Maybe we can help, but you’re far from being a failure if you’re making a go of this.

Hevyn

You keep trying, Quit - that's not being a failure. You haven't given up on the idea of a better life, free of alcohol. You can do it.

Evoo

I failed a lot of times, too.

Until I didn't!

Hindsight is 20/20, but now that I am 15 months w/o a drop of alcohol - the key difference between this time and others is that past times I quit I always gave my AV a "drink at the end of the tunnel." I would think things like, "Well, relapses happen..." or "let's see how long I can go this time," or "maybe if I just abstain for awhile I'll be able to moderate someday." All those thoughts gave my AV an opening. Even if it was small in the beginning, it eventually grows out of control into a relapse.

I can only say what worked for me, but now I gave my AV zero oxygen. It took some time, but it's pretty darn quiet now - and when a thought pops up that romanticizes my former drinking or gives me a pang of regret that I can't "have a sip," I shut it down, pay back the tape, and remember where that leads. Nowhere good, nowhere fun, nowhere productive. It's an addictive poison - I don't need or want it in my life anymore. End of story.

Good luck .

Anna

Yes, Quit, it's a downward spiral, isn't it. For me, it felt like I was taking a leap of faith because I was so far down. The thing is, I did it and it was the AV lying to me to convince me I couldn't. I expect your situation is similar.

Dee74

Hey Quit,

It’s hard but you just have to not listen to the voice and do what you know is right.
To get to where you want to be you need to stop drinking at some point, and that point may as well be today

Try and post here when you feel the urge to drink, not after - beating yourself up does nothing good for you.
Come back and read the threads you’ve already posted to read the advice given.

Noones atracked you for drinking, I promise

Let us help you not drink, y’know?

You mentioned AA in one of your posts and that you were far from meetings. I mentioned online meetings. Why not chase that up if you haven’t already?

If withdrawal scares you, go see a Doctor.

Start building your non drinking future.
Make a bold declaration of intent by springing into action

Stopping drinking is hard but there’s a lot of support and help out there if you need it - track it down and use it

D

advbike

You're not a failure! It takes some of us a lot of tries.. but you have to keep trying and solidifying your approach.

Simply due to the way alcohol affects us and the prefrontal cortex, simple willpower almost never works.

So find a method of reinforcement - one of the monthly classes, or AA or something. Ramp it up!

Jim1958

Speaking for myself, I failed lots of times. I poured out liquor and in days would be back buying more. I would drink, have 3 or 4 days sober, feel better, and drink again. This went on and on. At times I thought making it 30 days was impossible. But don't give up! Keep trying and you can do it. I hit 30 days several times only to relapse again. But I am doing better now (over 3 years) and you can do it too! Best wishes on your recovery.

DriGuy

We all failed until we stopped failing, and as for myself, I felt like a failure too, so I understand where you are right now. The problem for me was that I didn't know what I had to do. I did have this vague idea, like a vague pledge to get better, but I didn't know what was necessary, whether I could do whatever that was, or if it would be any better when I did it.

You are just getting started, but have barely scratched the surface, but you are in a good place where former drinkers can show you some paths. Some people do it on their own. I don't know if I could have myself, but getting help from others seemed like it was essential for me. I will say that I was always grateful for the help, and I was willing to give things a try. Some ideas may not work for you, and some didn't for me, even if they worked for others, but you aren't that different from the rest of us. If you are looking for answers, they are here.

LoveHateWhine

You are NOT a failure!!!

I've been at it longer than I care to admit, but I always came back here no matter what and eventually, I wanted to stop more than I wanted to drink. Things are finally coming together but it was/is a long, hard road.

You will get lots of good advice here, just keep checking in, posting when you can, or just reading if you can't. It does help.

LHW

dustyfox

Really there is no need to be embarrassed you are among friends here .

Steely

You're not a failure, Quit. Posting here tells me so.

You want it!

Have you ever clocked any sober time? If so, how?

I've 'failed' more times than I care to count, but eventually found that part within that knew I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. And as they say in AA, "was willing to go to any lengths.....".

I don't go to AA, but believe it can be very wise sometimes. It does not remain a struggle Quit. You'll get to love it.

You can get sober Quit.

Pekelover2

You’re not a failure. But I have to admit I understand how you’re feeling right now. Because I felt the same way at times. You have to try to come here and post if you’re feeling particularly vulnerable. Don’t do it as an afterthought. If you don’t feel comfortable coming here then try to reach out to a friend or family member.
every day that I don’t drink I feel like my self-esteem goes up a notch. I hope with time I’ll eventually start to feel like my old self. I could have listened to my AV tonight and drank. But would could would it have done? I would hate myself in the morning. And I’m scrambling to pick up every morsel of self-respect that I can regain.
Just try to reach out to us. We’re here for you.

Nonsensical

Whoever told you that was lying.

Try again.
Fail again.
Fail better.

Dee74

How are things today Quit?

D

Hevyn

I'm thinking of you too, Quit.

VikingGF

One day you won't be failing because you will have stopped drinking. Most of the really bad feelings fade away with some time spent not drinking, including how bad you feel each time you have to stop again. At this point, you have to trust in us and trust in your ability to take charge of your life, I know it's a real leap of faith- but so many of us have taken it and are happy to reach a hand out to you. You can do it, Quit.