KTB5000

Fiance/Best friend passed away on Monday in a car accident. One would think this would change my mind about drinking forever, but the only thing that consoles and gets me through is wine at the moment.

I really need to quit, I have children that depend on me. Just looking for support. Thank you.

Dee74

omg I am so sorry for your loss KTB - but losing yourself now would not be what your fiancé wanted - or what your children deserve.

Stay strong and stay with us., ok?


D

calmself

So sorry to hear that. This is your time to stay strong and guide your children. Alcohol only creates more anxiety and it will pass on to the kids as well. Time will heal and things will look up eventually.

Please throw the bottles out and plan your next steps with your children, reassure them that not all is lost. We are here to help you through this unfortunate event and much beyond. Don't look up to alcohol for solace and further push yourself and the kids into misery.

You will get through this, prayers to the lost soul.

Steely

I am so sorry KTB.

Your will get through this, and you will get back to being sober.

Stay strong and keep coming here to talk, and to get well.

Hodd

What terrible news. Sincere condolences, KTB. Nothing will make this tough time easier right now, but try and look after yourself. Take care.

RAL

I am so sorry for your loss KTB, my heart goes out to you. Staying sober is the best way to look after yourself and your children at this horrendous time.

Surrendered19

That is terrible KTB. How would your dearest fiance/best friend want you to act in the next few months? I venture a guess your best friend would not want you to drink, would want you to be there for your kids, would want you to scream and rage at the Gods and the sky and go through your grief in an honest and healing way.

I'm so so sorry KTB. Please stay with us here on SR and think about the parent your kids deserve right now, today.

Peace KTB.

Kaptn

I am so very sorry for your loss.

LoveHateWhine

I’m so so sorry, KTB.

I know you feel like wine is the only thing that will help you right now but try to stay strong and stay sober. Reach out to others for support. There are people out there (and here) who can help you stand up when you can no longer stand on your own. People around you want to help. Reach out.

Free2bme888

KTB, what a tragedy🥺. I’m so very sorry for what happened. It’s awful in so many ways, the missed chance to say goodby, the last conversations ruminating in your head.

Please take care of yourself and love yourself, as your bf/fiancé would. Grieve, and let it ALL out. Alcohol numbs, and it’s what we think will help, but numbing doesn’t help you feel the feelings you need to feel.

Im saying a prayer for you, and your children, whose hopes and dreams have been taken away so suddenly. You are their rock, their solace.

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Leshar

KTB, that is such a tragic loss. I can't imagine the pain you are suffering. I am so sorry. Please lean on others, your family and friends and us here. Alcohol will lengthen the grieving process. I tried for too long and suffered more. Please take care of yourself.

Anna

KTB, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself, please.

Dee74

How are you doing KTB?

D

advbike

I just saw this, and am so sorry for your terrible loss, KTB. I understand the reaction to drink, but it won't help in the long run. I hope you can put it down soon, and do the best for your children. My sincerest wishes for strength and healing.

dustyfox

The pain of grief you must be feeling will be overwhelming, please reach out to friends or family that can support and help you and your children. What a terrible tragedy.

KTB5000

Thank you everyone for the support!!

You have no idea what it means to me. I am getting on better today. For the past two weeks,, I was stumbling back and forth to the convenient mart putting myself in some dangerous situations.. My son would just say that his mommy is sick right now.

Yesterday, he wrapped himself around me a gave me a hug and told me he loved me. Maybe he just wanted his iPad that I had confiscated but it was really good to feel his love. I didn't drink for two days and then I drank last night. I dint drink this morning but I drank this afternoon.

However, I have felt much more clarity mind because prior I've been drinking a bottle of wine at 8am and 2 bottles after 5pm. I was working to be drunk more than sober everyday. Today I don't want that. I can get through this.

My fiance was on his way to my house to bring me a bottle of wine but never made it.. he text me at 4:38 pm and had his rollover and sudden death at 4:45 pm. The feelings of guilt and the AV are attacking me constantly but I want to change my life around.

It sucks because our relationship saved me from an intense loneliness and now I feel I'm back at square one with no one to talk to everyday.

Agin thank you all,, I have a hard time logging on with the password reset which is why I'm reporting back so late.

I love you all and hope you are all well. You are all wonderful and special to me. Stay strong!

Dee74

I’m glad you’re back

Your son deserves a mom who’s not ‘sick’ KTB - as tragic as things are and the pain you must feel you have to keep it together for his and his siblings sake - head down, moving forward…you can do this!

D

KTB5000

Thank you Dee and I completely agree. I got lucky today and my Cox internet service is down so I haven't been working all day, just watching my AA homegroup Zoom meetings.

I've been taking in some really good information and asked someone to sponsor me. Hopefully it will work out. I'm tired of being in a fog and not a best friend to my children. I'm codependent and have leaned on others stuck in addiction for some time now. My kids deserve to have all of me. Please keep me in your prayers, you will be in mine.

Thank you