Pekelover2

A little while ago I posted about the difficulties that I’ve been going through. My husband had a cancer scare. Two of my cousins died suddenly within one month of one another. I got hit by a truck while cycling. Now I have a biopsy to rule out (or in) cancer.

But if I’m being honest with myself, I was drinking way before any of these things happened. I think I just brought them up to all of you to explain my absence. And maybe to get a little sympathy/justification for drinking.

I need to be honest with myself. I’m sorry tp post so much today.

Dee74

Its good to be honest - but honestly is not the same as being brutal with yourself.
Then and now = two different things

D

Surrendered19

You are ok Peke. Awesome that you posted. You've had far more than your share of challenges as of late. Of course I wish you wouldn't drink. But I understand why you do it. And don't worry about being absent or not posting. You are always welcome here.

Pekelover2

Thank you Dee be Surrendered.
I have hope.

Steely

Thinking of you Peke. I love a good joke.

Me: "Doctor, tell me the truth."

Doctor: "I'm not a doctor." 😂

It's all going to be ok Peke.

Pekelover2

Thanks Steely!

Hodd

Hi Peke, that’s a lot of stuff to be dealing with, wow. Anyone would be stressed. But … you know what’s coming next … drinking won’t change the outcome. If, heaven forbid, your biopsy results aren’t what you want, you’ll be way better equipped to deal with sober. if you’d never drank or grew up in a culture/country without alcohol, you’d still be stressed now, but you wouldn’t be thinking about drinking. This could all work out positively in a matter of weeks, and you’ll have emerged from it sober

Pekelover2

Thanks Hodd.

ToughChoices

It is very difficult to look at oneself clearly. Self-deception is my go-to, first line of defense.

So it is helpful for me to have an anonymous forum on which to post challenges, admit to failures, and hold myself accountable.

You are not alone, Peke!

-TC

Anna

Peke, keep in mind that recovery is a process. Being honest with yourself about drinking before your recent problems is a big step forward.