Day 21 Time on my hands - could be dangerous !
 

So I submitted a piece of work today that other people have to take forward and I have given them until midday on Monday to make their comments. This means I have 4.5 days with nothing to do which in past times would be seen as an excuse to drink. I need to occupy myself and meet a friend, replant my balcony garden and … clear my son’s room which I have left since I chucked him out. That itself will be traumatic which is why I keep leaving it. Am a bit worried to be honest .. idle hands make for the devil’s work and all that.

Ican, take some time during these next few days to do something nice for yourself. And, make plans if you can so that you know you have things to do. If you're concerned about your son's room, maybe this is not the time to tackle it, but I understand you wanting to get it cleared out.

Ican, why not leave your son's room for now? No need to put a potential trigger in your way. Leave it until you have 90 days or more.

I am similar to you with my emotional triggers and feel that in early sobriety we have to focus on activities that keep us sober and will not serve as triggers. Do fun things, cook, meet sober friends for lunch, take some walks, go to a meeting, etc.

You are doing so well, Ican. Keep it up!

I just got contacted by our local nature society to help with a “moth count” (!) on the Common on Saturday. So I’ll definitely do that and so had better start swotting up on moths ! :-)

My son’s room is a real trigger. I’ve only been in it three or four times since he left as it makes me so sad. Everyone tells me to clear it out and give away his stuff etc but I just can’t. So better not address that yet as that could be a real problem ( in my head) which could lead you know where …

I can absolutely relate with your son's bedroom. When I evicted my son - I didn't touch anything in it, or go into it much, for about a year. He had a teddy bear from when he was a baby, and one time I sat on his bed, clutching the teddy and crying so hard I could hardly breath.
It did pass, I'm glad to say.
Do ANYTHING to keep yourself busy. Plant your little garden 😊
Much Love
Bute xx

Thanks for the understanding Bute. My son’s room is like a museum .. I can’t go in there for more than one second. It’s sooooo painful mentally ! What did you do with your sons things ? I am tempted to give his clothes to Ukrainian refugees !

Great idea Ican! Also was thinking maybe you could hire someone to clean it out for you (when the time is right)..

Thanks for the suggestion but my friends will help me and keep asking when, but I keep putting it off ! But I have guests in April so I need to sort it out by then !

Like Anna I hope you take time out to do something nice for yourself ICDT :)

D

He took most of his things, so the little that was left, I took to the tip!
then I completely redecorated it. It then became, the spare room, and not his room. I think it's about our perspective too. We have to change the way we think about it.
Much Love
Bute x

Thanks. I just sent you a PM Bute.