Mira7453

Hello everyone. I have known I have had a problem for quite a while, but I just kept ignoring it thinking I'll be ok, and maybe eventually I can stop. I keep saying well another year or so and I think I'll be ok, I said this last year, and the year before, and years before. I have been a very heavy daily drinker for over 16 years now. I drink close to a 5th of alcohol daily, some days more when I take shots of Fireball with my usual drinks of vodka.

I was laying on the couch crying just a bit ago because of having pain in my liver area. I wasn't crying because the pain is severe, the pain isn't super severe, I cry because I know it is bad, I'm not supposed to hurt there and I'm scared. I am also very fatigued feeling all the time. My fiancé asked what was wrong when I was crying, I told him it is my monthly cramps. I need to be honest and tell him the real reason, I know. I know he will take away my alcohol if I do, I really need him to. I need to go get help, but I'm terrified. I'm going to have to do this or I probably won't live long into my 40's, I am only 38 now.

I am hoping it isn't already too late for me. Has anyone else had similar things happen and are ok now?

Anna

Welcome, Mira! I'm glad you know it's time for you to stop drinking. And, it's never too late to start recovery and to enjoy a life free of alcohol.

It's a good idea to get rid of alcohol in the house, and if telling your fiance will help you accomplish that, then go for it. And, it's normal to be scared. I still remember being terrified to take the leap because it's a leap of faith. But, I can tell you that it's worth it. If you're concerned about withdrawals, you can talk to your doctor. You'll find lots of support here and lots of tips for dealing with the early days of recovery and beyond.

venuscat

Welcome dear Mira s ❤️

I had so many fears before I stopped drinking: I knew my body could not take much more.
I was older than you are now, and I wasn't sure how long I was going to be around.

I don't feel that way anymore.
One day at a time, my body and I both healed.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Mira

I think a lot of us, if not all of us, have worried we’ve pushed things too far. The good news is the very best thing any one of us here can do is stop drinking - and maybe see a Doctor when you can face that fear

I was an all day every day drinker and had been for years. This community helped me stay sober and turn my life around – I know we can help you too.

You are not alone - we understand and we’re here to help

D

Mummyto2

Hi, its a scary thought when you know that your other half will get rid of the booze, because its been a crutch for so long, we have all been there, i have had pains before in that area and it is scary, you are only 38, i wished to god i had stopped at that age, why not open up to you're partner how you feel, a problem shared etc the one thing i can guarantee is the only way you will start too feel better again is if you get rid of the booze, its such a progressive disease, the quicker you stop the better, there is a lot of help and support here for you, keep posting.

RAL

Welcome to sr. It's a great thing you've done taking the first step and joining here.

I'm 10 years older than you and been on and off drinking for years. My liver results today are not good. But the liver can repair itself as many on her can tell you. The first step is stopping drinking. Maybe look at posting in March class too where you will be in a group with people at similar stage as you. Posting daily helps me stay accountable and is a great source of support

fishkiller

Welcome!

As long as we drink it will just get worse.
Once we stop drinking the body, and mind, starts to heal.

My experience is that my health has improved greatly since I quit.

I have a feeling at your age you will recover nicely once you purge the booze

DriGuy

Mira, it's never too late, but it does get harder the farther down the rabbit hole you go. I too put if off for a long time, thinking eventually I would take care of it. I thought I could probably just take control and be OK, but when it got to that point and I tried to moderate, I found that I could not do it. By moderate, I mean having some sort of vague plan that involved hanging one on just once in a while. That was my first jolt of fear, I was out of control, and I couldn't stop, and the worst part, although I didn't realize it at the time, was that I had no idea what to do. I had no plan. No goal. I had the desire for things to get better, but not a clue how to make that happen.

We can help you in the forum. You can find support, more understanding than you probably imagine, information, hints, tips, and some "must dos" if you really want to quit. You may hear things you don't want to hear, not necessarily about you, but things you need to do, that don't sound like what you want to do. But do them and eventually, you will love them.

I'm happy you are here. Everyone of us wants to see each other get better. We are all in it together, and you are welcome to join in.

Hevyn

Mira - I'm so glad you joined us & wanted to talk about your situation. You'll find a lot of positive encouragement here.

I felt the same as you - always assumed one day I'd stop, or at least drink more carefully. I didn't realize that I was becoming dependent on it, & that it would be very difficult to stop. I was much older than you when I finally found SR & got free. I was drinking all day at that point, with a ruined life. That doesn't need to happen to you. I'm happy you have decided to take a hard look at what drinking is doing to your life & health - and that you're taking action.

soupcon

I was in your shoes and was a daily drinker and probably drank about the same amount. I remember worrying about my liver and every other body part I knew I was destroying with my alcohol intake. Make sure you withdraw safely. I would call your doctor or a detox to see if you can get medication so you don't have seizures. Tell your fiance what you need from him. I doubt he will be surprised you have a problem and would love to help you get sober. I am so glad you are here. I have been sober almost 40 years now. Welcome to SR!

Mummyto2

wow 40 years omg thats amazing

Cityboy

Mira, you've come to the right place for positive support, encouragement, and information. The only way forward is to just put it down and be done with it. It seemed intimidating, if not impossible to me at first, but has been the most liberating thing I've ever experienced. In that critical early stage, it was necessary for me to also let go of the baggage (guilt, resentment, fear, anxiety). Stay close for support, and don't go back under any circumstances. Relationships will change, good ones will get better. Soon, the habitual part will fade away, and then the actual dependency part will begin fading away as well. As your body and mind begin to heal, you will see how much better off you are. Old issues that led you to drinking in the first place will still be there, but you will able to address them properly instead of making them worse.

Those close to us can't help us because there are so many other daily influences and they have no idea of what we are going through. I have a couple of friends who also quit, and went to a couple of AA meetings, but 99% or more of my support has come from here.

When I quit, there was a severe cramp that I fully expected to mean that it was too late for my liver. The sudden change shocked my system and there were other symptoms that soon developed. They all began fading away though, cramp and all, and now at two years, I feel more healthy than I have in at least 15 years.

venuscat

I was thinking the same thing.

VikingGF

Mira- Welcome to SR. It's very normal to be afraid to stop and afraid to drink. This wonderful place will help you stop and support you on your journey. It's never too late to stop drinking- the sooner, the better.

Mira7453

Thank you to everyone for the responses, it makes me feel much better. I feel I am being welcomed into a very supportive community and I believe this will be a huge help in my recovery. I wish to join you all in this path to sobriety. I will be reading through here for the helpful posts that have been made, the stories of those in recovery and those that have found recovery. It all interests me very much. I thank you all again for this great community

D122y

This place saved my life. It educated me on what I was dealing with.

Suffering and time.

I used to curl up in a ball and whimper. Getting clean hurts like nothing I have ever experienced.

The real me was in there, under years of drug (booze) addiction.

It is liberating to say the least.

Booze is poison. I hate the stuff.

Get well.

Thanks.

MissOverIt

It’s never too late!

Great start just being here. This is where I started too. I eventually went to AA and did the steps with a kind and competent sponsor. Even though AA isn’t perfect, it helped me work through the stuff that was keeping me drunk. I strongly feel that staying sober takes more than just not drinking. As of today, I don’t want to drink, I don’t struggle, I try to take it easy and help others. Life is good and I promise you can get here to with some work and help.

Stay close and keep asking questions! Big hugs!

Juve

Mira,

What has helped me is the notion, "It's late. It's not too late." The first sentence gives me a sense of urgency; the second sentence a sense of hope.

Let's all recover and heal.

Johannes

Pekelover2

Mira,
It’s never too late. You’re so young!!
And you’ve come to the right place.
Sending big hugs.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you found us here. Many of us drank as long as we could and only stopped when something forced the issue. By the time I quit I could feel my body dying. I looked terrible, I felt awful and all the time and I just had a detached view, looking down on myself. Like so many people I figured I'd quit drinking "someday", that at some far-flung day I would know it was time. I can't say what changed, one day the full weight of it just hit me like a truck. It was clear that I was running out of Somedays, and that it had to be Today!

If you're finally ready to change your life, to save your life, you've come to the right place!