Stepping Off The Slope
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Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 22
Day 6.5 and still clean. Today is Friday so even though I've been unemployed I've been generally job-hunting weekdays only...so the AV is still stronger. Probably years of thinking of Fridays in that light from when I was working too. Anyway, feel stronger with it. I've been cheating a little and allowing myself to eat a bit of crap to make up for it. Obviously another addiction in itself but trying to wean off of that too. I find sugar can actually give you a mini-hangover too, and messes with your sleep.
But yes, acceptance. That's definitely something I have been thinking about too. The way I see it, given I have had suicidal thoughts etc, every day I am still here I'm winning and on some level that is enough. Trying to tap into that meditative thinking where everything is just at that degree of distance and not something that takes over. I think it's hard to put the right amount of pressure on yourself so that you still do stuff but don't get stressed about everything. Definitely still working on that one. But yes was sunny here today and always makes me feel more positive. I'm definitely grateful to be starting work again soon and be rescued from my mire. Gonna be best part of a year I was out of work, never planned that really. More explaining to do when you go for interviews etc but of course could be so much worse. Just glad some mug did eventually employ me, lol. Gonna just stick it out at the next place for a good old while to make up for it and try and make more of my life. If I can not drink I can save more money, not get fat, have more energy, sleep better, probably be more social because I'm not trying to hide away to get ****** up...and hopefully avoid another meltdown!
But yes, acceptance. That's definitely something I have been thinking about too. The way I see it, given I have had suicidal thoughts etc, every day I am still here I'm winning and on some level that is enough. Trying to tap into that meditative thinking where everything is just at that degree of distance and not something that takes over. I think it's hard to put the right amount of pressure on yourself so that you still do stuff but don't get stressed about everything. Definitely still working on that one. But yes was sunny here today and always makes me feel more positive. I'm definitely grateful to be starting work again soon and be rescued from my mire. Gonna be best part of a year I was out of work, never planned that really. More explaining to do when you go for interviews etc but of course could be so much worse. Just glad some mug did eventually employ me, lol. Gonna just stick it out at the next place for a good old while to make up for it and try and make more of my life. If I can not drink I can save more money, not get fat, have more energy, sleep better, probably be more social because I'm not trying to hide away to get ****** up...and hopefully avoid another meltdown!
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Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 22
Day 7.5, still rocking. This could be escape velocity now. Definitely enjoying having more brain and energy being clean. Hasn't been easy though. Was thinking about weed a lot today, have to keep reminding myself that I always end up a full-time addict so can't do that. Makes you stupid, lazy and fat just like booze does as well so you lose the energy. My tolerance just builds so quick as well and then you need it just to feel ok and it stops being fun pretty quickly. I'm definitely feeling better now anyway, looking forward to a new chapter of my life, gonna try not to f this one up!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Congrats on your sober time so far - these early days are rough. You sound positive & determined. Things will settle down & the anxiety will lessen.
It's going to be so worth it, Andra.
It's going to be so worth it, Andra.
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